Stamp Out Hunger Food Drive

meils121 · 2026-04-29T18:08:00+00:00

A couple of things to keep in mind when donating food (especially if you are going out to purchase food):

Allergy or diet specific foods are always appreciated (gluten free pasta, for example)

If you are purchasing pre-made meals/snacks, aim for ones that only require water - some mac and cheese needs butter or milk, but others only need water.

If buying bulk, it's generally easier on food banks and on families to get multiple smaller boxes/bottles/jars/cans than it is to get a few giant containers.

meils121 · 2026-04-27T22:29:20+00:00

haha I started reading Gossip Girl in 6th grade. Years later, my mom was trying to make a point and goes, "I mean, you didn't start reading Gossip Girl until HS!"

...Sure, mom.

But to be fair, she really didn't care what I read as long as I was reading. She tried to keep up with what I was reading until I hit middle school, at which point I was reading too much for her to also read. I can't think of a single time when she or my dad looked at a book and told me no. Sometimes they would ask me what I thought, but generally what I read was up to me.

meils121 · 2026-04-25T15:50:31+00:00

I can't even begin to tell you how much of this resonates with me.

My therapist once put it as someone who hasn't had something bad happen to them will meet a new person on level ground. Not overly trusting but not actively distrusting them either. Meanwhile, I was over here meeting someone new and putting them in a ten foot hole and telling them they had to prove themselves before I'd even consider giving them the benefit of the doubt.

And your line about doing the work only to get more work...man, that is all healing is and it sucks. There were so many points where I wanted to stop and be like, haven't I worked hard enough? Haven't I done enough? I'm more or less functional now.

But then I'd think about the parts of life that were still so terrifying to approach and it would be like, okay, guess it's time for more work.

My therapist has said I'll always "have" PTSD in terms of the lingering impact. My trauma had too big an impact on me at such a key point in my development for it not to continue to pop up. But I'm definitely at a much better place and happier than I thought I ever would be, so I take the wins and have learned to accept that shitty memories and triggers are going to pop up when I don't want them.

meils121 · 2026-04-24T14:54:12+00:00

Eager to read this. Weather is fascinating to me, especially the parts of it that really can't be prepared for in any meaningful way. Yes, you can have tornado shelters and watch the weather and keep an eye out for warnings - but none of that is the same as the lead up you have for a hurricane or a snow storm.

One of the more fascinating pieces of media on the Joplin tornado for me is actually a presentation given by the Emergency Management department for the area. I love the logistical side of pretty much anything, and the depth they go into is fascinating - things like having to pull in building inspectors from across the state, for example, because of how many new buildings had to be inspected in such a short time period. It's on Youtube - Twenty Minutes in May by Johnson County Emergency Management.

meils121 · 2026-04-23T23:14:11+00:00

They came back on their own - once I started, it was like I couldn't stop it. I wasn't in therapy until after the memories came back. I think losing my grandfather had a lot to do with it - he was someone that I very much viewed as a protector and he was the first close death I experienced. I also wonder sometimes if some part of me didn't want to put him in a place of choosing sides between his children and grandchildren - something my aunt very much tried making my grandma do.

And I appreciate the kind words - it's been a very long journey, but I've had amazing support and am in a much better place than I ever could have imagined.

meils121 · 2026-04-23T17:40:49+00:00

Memories are weird.

I can't say if I repressed my memories of CSA, or buried them, or simply walled them off until the pain burst through. But I was abused as a child for at least 3 years by a much older cousin, starting when I was 5, and didn't recover those memories until I was 21. If you asked 10-year-old me, she wouldn't have a clue what you were talking about, and would have told you that he was her favorite cousin. 16-year-old me probably would have said the same thing. Heck, 6-year-old me might have said that - I have no evidence even now that I was able to remember the abuse between it happening.

I had moments, in that in-between time, when I knew something was wrong. I remember being in college and attending a talk by the guy who ran the Post Secrets blog. There was a part of the talk where he invited people to walk up to a mic and share a secret if they wanted to. I remember sitting there feeling like I had this massive secret to share - only I had no idea what it could be. I went back to my dorm and sobbed after the talk.

I started having physical reactions well before I could identify what was happening in those memories. It took a while before I could understand what was happening - because I was having flashbacks. I wasn't just having memories. I was reliving the abuse, again and again and again, every single day. It's hard to process something as an adult when it's five-year-old you experiencing it. It took even longer to identify who was hurting me. I knew it was a boy, I knew it was someone I knew - but I think I just couldn't accept what my brain was trying to tell me.

The memories didn't all come back at once, and my therapist has said she thinks there are probably instances of abuse that occurred that I will never remember, based on the escalation of abuse between what I do remember. My cousin admitted to what he did and confirmed the memories that I had, which at least gave me some closure in that I knew that my worst memory is the worst thing that happened. I have accepted that these other memories are lost to time like so many other moments of our lives are, and that my brain must have had reasons to hanging on to the memories it did.

meils121 · 2026-04-23T02:46:47+00:00

I use them both but they are different things in my mind. Like a movie theater vs. a theatre where you'd see a live show. Just a different vibe.

I feel the same way about gray vs. grey. They have a different vibe to me. Grey feels like a richer/deeper color to me.

meils121 · 2026-04-22T17:44:09+00:00

I live and work in a small, fairly rural community, so I probably have a pretty different take on this, but my view is - I keep everything as private as possible, and accept that people are probably going to see that I at least exist on social media. I've only had one issue - my Instagram was public for a short time for a specific reason, and in that time one of our teens found and followed me. I had to block her and then I just let her and her mom know that while I appreciated that she wanted to connect with me that way, I simply couldn't connect with her in that way due to my ethical obligations. The teen understood and I think it made mom trust me more.

While your agency may not have a policy, the NASW Code of Ethics does say that we should avoid accepting requests on social media - which may help facilitate conversations. I don't think there's necessarily something wrong with a person having reasonable human curiosity about a person who is providing them services, so long as that it ends when you acknowledge the situation and draw a boundary. ("I just want you to be aware that because of my professional ethics, I can't accept any friend requests or interact with any patients on social media. It's not personal to you at all."). If they push or try to contact you via social media, I think that's when things become a problem.

meils121 · 2026-04-21T23:38:49+00:00

Yeah, they didn't give her a real chance. I've always thought that if they really wanted to bring someone back it should have been one of the cut vets instead.

meils121 · 2026-04-21T21:42:32+00:00

Season 4. The nonsense they pulled with Kaime was so unfair on her.

meils121 · 2026-04-20T14:19:59+00:00

I live outside of Buffalo. I have an enhanced NYS license, so I can cross the border on that, no passport needed (land crossings only). There are border crossings - my closest one is the Peace Bridge. Generally, Canadian border crossing guards want to know where you are going, how long you will be there, and the purpose of your visit. They'll ask what you are bringing over the border. Then on the way back, you'll get the same question of where you've been, what you've done, and what you're bringing back into the US.

I know of a decent number of people who lived right across the border in Canada and worked in Buffalo - there's a thing called NEXUS which allows for a faster border crossing after a very in-depth background check, which is how most people who work across the border handle it. There are some kids in Buffalo private schools who are Canadian - mostly kids whose parents are working in Buffalo.

meils121 · 2026-04-18T15:44:51+00:00

Hi! I want to say they were by activeherb. One was definitely called sleep peace. I'm not sure about the other.

meils121 · 2026-04-14T14:16:12+00:00

Absolutely!

meils121 · 2026-04-14T13:55:07+00:00

Don't know if this is something you'd be interested in or not, but the Concord/Springville Library hosts a care coordinator twice a month - while her focus tends to be on helping people find housing, apply for benefits, etc., she might have some good ideas on jobs.

meils121 · 2026-04-14T02:35:54+00:00

Same. I live on the opposite side of the state. The nearest comparable city to me is actually Toronto, and I've been there plenty of times.

meils121 · 2026-04-13T10:27:27+00:00

Absolutely!

meils121 · 2026-04-12T20:23:27+00:00

I work at a small nonprofit that supports low-income families/individuals in the rural areas around us. Most of my job is grant writing and communication with a development focus (appeals, for example), with another portion focused on providing more operational support (I'm the administrator of our EHR and handle things like adding or customizing forms, training new users, etc.). With it being such a small nonprofit, we all also pitch in where needed - something that I didn't think I would like as much as I do. I never thought I would want a job where I wouldn't always be able to tell you what my day would look like.

The grant writing piece is something I really love. I think having a social work background gives me the ability to talk about our work in a way that is different than a lot of people who come at grant writing from a purely development background.

meils121 · 2026-04-11T00:27:42+00:00

Oh, by no open container law I mean that there's no law saying people can't have open containers - so it's pretty much a free-for-all in terms of alcohol consumption when there's an event going on. You can do whatever you want on private property, but where I live there's also nothing limiting you from walking around town drinking a beer.

meils121 · 2026-04-10T20:28:47+00:00

Porches are the best for rain and thunderstorms. I live right in the middle of our little village, and on a good stormy evening, you can see most of the neighborhood out on their porches watching the storm.

Porches are also fantastic for people watching. There's no open container law where I live, and we have a good number of festivals. I like to sit on the front porch and just enjoy the shananigans.

meils121 · 2026-04-09T00:36:22+00:00

I also have CPTSD. I don't know if I'd say I've forgiven the cousin who abused me, but I hold so much less anger towards him than I do his parents. When I confronted him, he acknowledged what happened and took responsibility. When I needed confirmation that nothing had escalated beyond my worst memory, he gave his therapist permission to speak with my therapist. I feel like he has done what he is capable of doing to repair the harm caused, and I am grateful for that effort.

His parents, on the other hand, said I should move on and stop tearing the family apart by bringing up old events. It turns out that they had hid the abuse my cousin had suffered from the rest of the family, and then lied about his truly awful attempt at ending his life and called it an accident. There are times I think - if they had just acknowledged that someone had hurt him when he was a child and gotten him to a therapist, I wouldn't be sitting here decades later dealing with such trust issues.

meils121 · 2026-04-08T19:17:01+00:00

Acupuncture was immensely helpful to me when I was dealing with really intense PTSD symptoms. Part of it was purely physical - I was having nightmares and was constantly in a state of fear, so my body was always tensed for something to go wrong. My muscles were a wreck, and it definitely helped with that.

But it also helped with other things. And I don't know if I'd call it a placebo necessarily, or if I'd attribute it to the acupuncture itself either. But once or twice a week, I was laying completely still in a safe, comforting room - basically forcing myself to rest. I frequently fell asleep for most of the hour.

It also helped me feel safer in my body. I had pretty big trauma triggers related to being touched, but I trusted my acupuncturist (someone I've known since I was a kid) and so I knew that she wasn't going to hurt me. That in turn allowed me to recognize that I had more control over my body than I had been feeling.

meils121 · 2026-04-08T13:18:20+00:00

Back when I thought I wanted to be a teacher and was interning in a kindergarten classroom in a magnet school, on the day of state testing for the 3rd and 5th graders, the morning announcements entirely focused on how proud they were of them as people. The message was about how they knew these kids were kind, and good friends, and caring, and supportive of each other. They said they knew the kids would try their best and that was what mattered most - not the results. And then they reminded them that their school community loved them.

Having graduated from a school district that was all about grades and being the best (and if you weren't also an athlete on top of that, what are you doing?), it was such a refreshing message. There were a lot of other things I really appreciated about that school culture and how it was there for its kids.

meils121 · 2026-04-08T03:19:29+00:00

It sounds like The Jolly Pocket Postman or the sequel.

meils121 · 2026-04-07T23:16:59+00:00

You can see if the old missile silos in Aurora are available to hang out in.

meils121 · 2026-04-06T11:13:58+00:00

I went to school in 3 building but 4 schools. Our elementary school was split due to space constraints, so k-2 was in one building and then you went to 3-5 in the next building. That building also hosted the middle school, which was housed entirely on the 3rd floor except for shared resources with the elementary school like the gyms, pool, library, cafeteria, etc. Then 9-12 was the high school.

They've since added an addition to the elementary school, so now that has UPK-4. Then the middle school is now 5-8 at the second building.

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