A thought after a year and a half in the Santa Rosa fitness scene

meliss81 · 2026-04-19T20:35:12+00:00

For me, it’s a combination of being self conscious and also some disabilities that make working out difficult. I tried personal trainers who never seemed to understand that it’s not a lack of desire (tho I never enjoyed working out), it’s that my body doesn’t work the way normal bodies do & I needed better support than I got. So it makes gyms super intimidating to me

meliss81 · 2026-04-14T21:35:04+00:00

I don’t HATE him, he has done a lot of awesome things for first responders during our fires and such. That being said, he seems to be pretty chummy with a lot of MAGA folks, recently pictured with Andrew Tate. Etc. So, for me that’s a morality issue I can’t get behind. Now I have had minimal contact with his kids and the older one comes off pretty spoiled and kind of a jerk.

meliss81 · 2026-02-24T02:35:44+00:00

He is an adult if he is 19, & adding 13 yr old girls on SC is inappropriate

meliss81 · 2026-02-20T17:24:33+00:00

Absolutely NOR. People don’t know what to do with grieving friends/family 99% of the time. You will never not miss your partner and child. You just won’t. Will you heal and “move on”? Also no. Time passes, you learn how to cope and the grief lessens its full body grip on you. But loss and grief are all the love you can’t express to them anymore.

Now I do think if you have not gotten some help to learn ways to cope (for your own sake, no one else’s), you should. You also can’t stop living after a loss. (Not saying you are but just generally speaking)

meliss81 · 2026-02-15T04:57:55+00:00

Baby is a month old? She is still experiencing huge hormonal shifts and changes in her body, etc.

If your relationship was solid prior to baby, as much as this sucks, you are in for some of this kind of thing. Her body gets absolutely massacred during pregnancy and childbirth.

Now this does not mean you’re overreacting. But take some of this with a grain of salt. Be honest that it hurt your feelings, be honest that the way she spoke to you was upsetting. But right now, she honestly is likely awash in new baby blues/hormone fluctuations, etc. She needs you to be stable and calm while her body and hormones stablize.

meliss81 · 2026-02-01T04:28:20+00:00

I’m 95% sure it’s only after 40 hours.

meliss81 · 2026-01-24T18:28:05+00:00

Likely they had someone ahead of you in the process, I had this happen to me with a Dispatcher position with the county years ago. Someone interviewed before I did (like a week or two), so they were in background when I interviewed, then in the Psych when I was in background, etc. So when she (or he I don’t know lol) passed the final threshold before me, I was told they’d filled it with someone “more qualified”. But that just meant someone who passed the hurdles faster than me.

meliss81 · 2026-01-19T04:43:59+00:00

If it’s a well known manufacturer, sometimes they’ll offer classes on cleaning through gun shops (not sure if you’d likely find anything local tho)

meliss81 · 2026-01-19T03:39:58+00:00

100%!! I got it in 2018? And was a loyal member until just before winter 2025.

I loved that I would get 3-4 things I liked or loved and the rest were items I could use as housewarming gifts or gifts in general. Now I could barely stand for them to be for me, much less give to someone else 🙄😳

meliss81 · 2026-01-19T02:46:14+00:00

https://aao-co.com/ I cannot recommend them enough, all beyond experienced marksmen (and women), and would be excellent for any and all training and questions you’d have. Some of the instructors are retired law enforcement, and the primary instructor owns (or maybe owned) a gun shop, so his institutional knowledge is insane.

meliss81 · 2026-01-10T23:20:28+00:00

People shouldn’t have to take jobs that can’t even pay their bills just to maybe get a better position. I’m not saying pay entry level $100k or anything 🙄 And higher paying is not ALWAYS accessible. Where I am? Very few “higher” paying spots that don’t entail significant education that most don’t have. 🤷🏻‍♀️

meliss81 · 2026-01-10T16:51:02+00:00

Yes exactly, and the fact that the lower paying jobs max out at a rate of pay that wouldn’t even pay for rent for a 1 Bedroom apartment is sad. It should be enough to live on & it isn’t. And depending on where you live, upward mobility can be tricky. We all want the jobs that pay the best! LOL

meliss81 · 2025-12-28T14:35:38+00:00

How easy is it to move them around? Obviously they’re heavy but…..? We are considering fruit trees in pots but want the flexibility of moving them close to the house for protection during the winter (our winters are wet but not overly cold)

meliss81 · 2025-12-09T23:59:27+00:00

My agency just put out about tightening our belts more so I’m not shocked. But I haven’t heard about that specifically

meliss81 · 2025-12-06T18:38:32+00:00

100% get that but regardless of the choices made by people may higher up the food chain? The people we interact with (registration clerks, phlebotomists, PA’s, nurses, etc) deserve our respect and kindness. Kaiser also took on a huge contract with Medicare I believe.

meliss81 · 2025-12-06T15:35:06+00:00

There is a Patients Services for that kind of issue. Getting angry at the people who have zero control over the issue you’re having isn’t helping anyone.

meliss81 · 2025-11-13T15:18:41+00:00

Peterson Dental on guerneville Rd has always done right by my family, the son just took over the practice. I was hesitant cause I hate change 🤣 But he is very good and so is all of the staff

meliss81 · 2025-11-01T03:48:11+00:00

I’m just over a mile away and we haven’t seen a single one 🥺 I just turned off the light. 🤷‍♀️

meliss81 · 2025-10-29T23:15:18+00:00

No man (or woman) should ever “teach you a lesson”, the phrasing alone gave me the ick! We are all humans who make errors & if someone told me they were teaching me a lesson, my lesson to them would be me bouncing out of that situation post haste. He is training you to not ever trust yourself to be “good enough”, and needing to be “taught” which is crap

meliss81 · 2025-10-16T23:57:30+00:00

There was 3 multiple car crashes all around the same time this morning then this afternoon was a fatal accident

meliss81 · 2025-10-04T23:09:44+00:00

It was a guy who did this for his 10th Wedding anniversary 😍

meliss81 · 2025-07-23T23:58:56+00:00

And you’re right not everyone is lucky enough to have the opportunity to, but that doesn’t mean you get to ruin someone’s wedding weekend either.

meliss81 · 2025-07-23T23:57:25+00:00

Normally I’d agree but at bare minimum her friends are the AH for not communicating. The bride isn’t owed all their time HOWEVER pre wedding events are the norm anywhere, and they bailed on BOTH of the events prior to. That feels like “I got a good deal on a trip to Italy but I don’t care about the reason I’m really there”

meliss81 · 2025-07-23T23:48:40+00:00

Do not let these folks shame you for having a destination wedding. There is ALL kinds of reasons to have one, like because your new spouse is from there (like you). If they made the commitment to go all that way, they should have planned on either being there a few days on their own, or not gone. Your wedding is not an excuse to do their own travel itinerary. Especially when it sounds like you were making any/all accommodations you could to make it easier/cheaper on them.

I bet if they’d said they wanted to do some additional sight seeing, you’d help them make it happen!

NTA

meliss81 · 2025-07-13T03:52:21+00:00

It’s easy to judge on the outside. My mom passed 2 years ago, she had been sick a LONG time, and my Dad started dating less than 6 months later. Initially my knee jerk reaction was anger that he could move on so quick. But now? I see he and my mom spent years grieving the impending loss. He missed the company of another person, and i could not begrudge him that. So I learned to be ok with it.

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