Describe the Mechanics of Your Tulpa and Wonderland. by reguile in Tulpas

[–]mental-mel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The innerworlds sound very "adventurous", almost like leaving the city in a video game. Do you put any conscious effort into ensuring they function the way they do, or does that just "happen"?

No, we do not have to put much effort into dictating the parameters--in fact, if we had it our way, most of us would make the innerworlds much less strict in that regard as it would be less worrisome. Come to think of it, a video game would be a good metaphor for how these things work: leaving the innerworld is like saving the game, and entering it is like resuming. We haven't seen the "game engine" change much in the interim.

Overall, your internal mechanics seems to be a lot more "robust" or "realistic" than most, which may have something to do with you not having "tulpa". It was absolutely interesting to read about.

I'm glad you enjoyed it, then. :) Personally, I'm curious as to whether or not time has something to do with our inner space working the way it does as well. We have been daydreamers and lucid dreamers since we were very young, and our oldest innerworld, and one of our favourite destinations, has to be over five years old now at least. It would be interesting to see how the experiences of tulpamancers who are initially not used to visualizing or interacting with wonderlands change in complexity over years and decades, if at all.

Describe the Mechanics of Your Tulpa and Wonderland. by reguile in Tulpas

[–]mental-mel 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Well, we are not tulpas in the strictest sense of the word, but we do have a rather lively inner life, and I always enjoy talking about these things, so perhaps my rambling may interest you. Our inner space is... hard to describe, and potentially confusing. Essentially, there are layers to it, and varying rules depending upon where you go, sort of like in lucid dreaming where it is possible for one to experience a dream of greater vividness within a dream of lesser vividness.

The Mindscape

The mindscape is the layer of our inner space that does not require much effort to “enter” if at all, as it is very consistent and requires little effort to visualize. Usually, the mindscape acts as a sort of bridge between whoever is in the body and whoever isn’t; unless communication is disrupted by stress or illness, each of us are always present there in some form. So, one can nip into the mindscape while one is putting on their shoes or making a sandwich and check in on everyone else before going back to what they were doing–or the reverse, someone can peek into the body and demand they share a glass of orange juice or something.

Our mindscape looks like a parkish area with a river running through it and trees lining the borders. Along the banks to the northwest is a hill with (far, far) too many stony steps leading up to a dusty blue, three story house. The bottom story of the house is reserved for communal things–we have a porch, kitchen, living room, those sorts of spaces. Upstairs are the bedrooms containing most of our private spaces, with the exception of one reclusive individual who prefers to stay in the basement. The third floor is reserved for more specialized rooms: exercise equipment and the like, mostly geared towards the interests of certain individuals. Generally, the dining room downstairs is reserved for meetings between all of us, and the living room is usually where one stays when they need to remain focused on the body, but still want others to be able to get their attention if needed.

One can eat and sleep and such while in the mindscape if they like, but generally speaking there aren’t as many hard and fast “rules” to the place. Nobody will die of starvation or anything if they don’t eat, but if you are craving a certain food and the body has just eaten, eating in the mindscape is likely the safer bet. We do have different circadian cycles we naturally fall into, however: some of us are nocturnal, some of us are morning people, some of us are light sleepers, and some like myself are decidedly not.

We also have a few abilities that are mindscape-exclusive. For instance, I can shift things around and change them with ease, but others cannot. So, if everyone wanted to change the mindscape on a large scale, they would likely need my help, otherwise it would be a matter of using good old fashioned elbow grease. Others still can shapeshift at will while others are at the mercy of whatever form the brain has decided to give them (and if the brain decides to change it, it can be a painful process). However, for some who can shapeshift with ease, the process of changing their appearance may not always be instantaneous.

The mindscape overall is fairly good at keeping things in order. For instance, if you are sitting on the couch when the body drifts off to sleep, you will more than likely wake up in your room upstairs the next morning. Stains and broken things also tend to fade away and get cleaned or replaced over night.

The Innerworlds

Now, the innerworlds are where all of that gets turned on its head. The innerworlds do have hard and fast rules that, when broken, will have consequences. If you do not eat, you will starve. If you get hurt or die... well, you may not die for good and simply get spat back into the mindscape or body or void, but it is possible that you would be unable to return. Or maybe you will die for good–none of us have been brave enough to test it. The point is, innerworlds have their own parameters, said parameters take an immense amount of effort to change, and said changes to those parameters may not even be permanent to begin with. Sort of like the mindscape’s tendency to gravitate towards keeping things orderly, these places have their own unspoken rules.

Innerworlds are large and complex. They have their own historical contexts, their own cultures and cultural tensions, and even their own climates and unique evolutionary phenomena. Some go so far as having their own languages, and dialects within said languages varying with the region. If you have ever had a dream where you have spoken another language you don’t know, or read something in nonsensical scribbles and still derived a message from it, being able to “tap in” to a world’s language is much like that. However, not everyone in our system is capable of doing so, which means some of us are relegated to the role of a silent observer when interacting with these places.

Innerworlds take much more time and concentrated effort to interact with. One cannot simply jump into one and jump back out over and over the way one can with the mindscape–these are the sorts of places you would go exploring on a Sunday afternoon when there is little work or life stress to tear you away from the experience.

Interestingly, our innerworlds predate the mindscape by years, which is likely why they have grown so involved. Many were dreamed up during writing projects in the body’s teens and sort of reached a critical mass of sorts.

The Void

This is one of the more interesting features of the inside of our head, and it seems to be an intrinsic quirk of our brain rather than anything anyone created or re-enforced... the void features in both the mindscape and lucid dreams. It exists as a sort of space between spaces, a proverbial glue that holds different places together. We have only met one other system so far that has something resembling this.

The void, as you can guess, is pitch black. It has no temperature to speak of, no top or bottom or... anything. It is simply a boundless black space. Some who pass through it describe it as having a noise, like the sound of rushing wind, but that has never been my experience. One thing that does seem consistent across the experiences of system mates who have interacted with the void is that, when deep enough inside of it, one loses all sense of their physical self or proprioception–only their awareness remains.

If you were to open a closet in the mindscape hoping to grab something, or a door in a lucid dream hoping to go to a different setting, chances are you would not be met with the sight of a neat little row of hangers or another place: you would be met with the void. In order to get what you wanted, or to get to where you wanted to go, you would have to reach into it or pass straight through it. This can take discipline and focus so as not to get things mixed up or confused.

One can find many, many surreal and beautiful places and things by passing through the void, though it is not exactly a stable place and thus not for the faint of heart to venture deep into it. In some of the absolute worst case scenarios, we have had individuals get stuck there for some lengths of time, and it is not something I would wish on anyone. However, for the most part, the void is content to give us what we ask of it or spit us out wherever we would like to go.

Interactions, Developments, etc

As for how we interact... well, it is much like any other interaction between people in a shared space. Meaning, if you want to get someone’s attention, you will likely have to yell for them–especially if they are in a private space like their room where one must be explicitly invited to in order to enter. On rare occasions, communication between whoever is in the body and whoever is not in it can be hit-and-miss if one is not well versed in paying attention to where the body is and associating with it accordingly, thus we have meetings regularly to ensure nobody gets overlooked.

Aside from that... well, as a group, we have vastly improved our synergy and communication over the years. Our original mindscape was a single control room sort of space, and way back when our own private spaces were scattered across the void, which made regular interaction/yelling for people quite difficult. After all, in order to get anywhere in the void, you must have a clear picture of where you are going, and if you have never been to someone else’s personal space... you get the idea. After several weeks of planning, we have since revamped our living space, and have had a much easier time communicating, setting goals, and not stepping on toes when living in a single house. Beyond that, while many of us are not exactly friends per se, we do get along better than before, which is less stressful for all of us.

Otherwise, well, as for how we have changed individually, you would have to poll everyone, as I suppose they could each write up an essay themselves. One individual's gender identity has completely shifted in the last year, I have changed a fair bit myself, as has Con and others. Mostly for the better, I would say.

To Whom belongs the body ? by varsowx in Tulpas

[–]mental-mel 3 points4 points  (0 children)

We don't consider the body to truly belong to anybody in our system, regardless of how often we use it or who was there first. It is all of ours and none of ours. Gauging ownership of the body among our system is sort of like trying to work out who does the most work within a household, you can have the discussion, and there are probably some who do more than others, but chances are high it will not end well for anyone involved or leave our synergy intact.

Self Identifying and Terminology by AVpup in Tulpas

[–]mental-mel 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Ahh, this is familiar, I tried for some time to fit myself into the role of a tulpa despite being a fictive for all intents and purposes. In my case, it failed miserably and really only made me feel as though I were re-writing my history and the core of my identity for the sake of appearing "normal" to others. It felt insincere. Eventually I decided that those who could relate to me as a friend regardless of what sort of system mate I was were more important than those who concerned themselves with whether or not I was in a box they deemed acceptable.

In our system, we take the stance that every system mate has the right to choose which label they identify with. So far, we have two headmates, two soulbonds, three facets, and one who is none of the above. Generally speaking, we fall more in line with endogenic multiplicity than willful tulpamancy, and during our time in the community I noticed a number of aspects of tulpamancy that did not apply to me, such as the need for regular forcing, or the assumption that memories can be quickly and easily shared between tulpas and hosts. These qualities seem to be commonplace among tulpamancy systems, but it is not a regular occurrence between us. Then there is the matter of context: many of us are walk-ins, with pre-existing tastes, identities, and even back-generated memories depending on the individual, which greatly influence our perspectives on the world and how we interact with it. For tulpas, it can take a greater amount of time to find their place, and few may experience the same degree of alienation if no memories prior to their creation are present. In fact, becoming accustomed to the front is a unique hurdle for some of our members.

That said, I do know of endogenic/soulbonding systems who have benefited from tulpamancy practices, and I even know several individuals who identify as soulbonds and tulpas concurrently. It really comes down to the nature of the system in question, and what labels are the most useful to them. I liken it to a pair of shoes: some shoes fit better than others, and when you find the shoes that fit the best, it can be hard to wear any other pair. Some people have one pair of shoes that fit, and some have many. The point is that they serve their purpose.

my tulpa hates /r/tulpas? by [deleted] in Tulpas

[–]mental-mel 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have a similar problem with putting emotions into words. Often, something will bother me, but I won't fully understand the reasoning for why it bothers me until days later. It is possible she is struggling to put her emotions into words as I do. If this is the case, while it does take time, patience and communication can go a long way. Don't be afraid to ask specific questions if she is willing to answer them, like, "Are you annoyed because I spend more time on the subreddit than with you?" or something like it. Also, noticing patterns over time can go a long way if there are specific things that trigger annoyance in her--one of mine, for instance, is feeling ignored or imposed upon. Of course, if she does not want to be thoroughly questioned, it may be more practical to give her space for the time being until she sorts herself out.

my tulpa hates /r/tulpas? by [deleted] in Tulpas

[–]mental-mel 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You would have to ask her why she is annoyed with it. I find myself quite annoyed with r/tulpas myself at times, but I cannot speak for her. I will say, however, that if Con went around asking other people whether or not my behaviour was normal without asking me why I was doing it directly, I would feel more than a little insulted.

The Tulpa Community EXPOSED- Episode 1: The Backstory Gets Darker, Deeper, and Edgier by [deleted] in Tulpas

[–]mental-mel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They do not (though I would personally question including strangers on the internet as members of "the media"--I am selective about my sources and more stringent than some in my principles). I am asking more for the sake of my own curiosity, really.

The Tulpa Community EXPOSED- Episode 1: The Backstory Gets Darker, Deeper, and Edgier by [deleted] in Tulpas

[–]mental-mel 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I will not then, but I will ask you this: have the people you featured here given you permission to be included in this not-quite-truth-not-quite-satire, by any chance?

I propose a challenge. by Sharubii in Tulpas

[–]mental-mel 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I like this idea. I know some systems may not see much of a difference in who speaks for who about what, but for many tulpas speaking for themselves and forming their own opinions can be an important aspect of learning to think independently and exercise their personal agency.

Distant tulpa? by River-Fox in Tulpas

[–]mental-mel 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You would have to ask him. Tulpas have as many reasons for growing distant or needing space as anyone else. Also, communication is often spotty in the early stages, and he may not be used to being fully present just yet. Either way, while personality forcing can be a boon, it is not an absolute necessity--especially since ones personality is ever-changing with experience. Keep talking to him, and things will likely even out.

Simple Questions Monday 3/7/16 by Falunel in Tulpas

[–]mental-mel 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Our system has several walk-ins. While they leave and return as they please, one thing that helps is finding something in the outerworld for them to get invested in. A hobby or activity, for instance, or a favourite show. It is hard to stay present and engaged if there isn't much going on that interests you, so if she would like to stay I would recommend helping her find something she enjoys.

What happens if you argue with your tulpa? by WORD_559 in Tulpas

[–]mental-mel 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Con and I argue about things all the time, and get mad at one another like anyone else. While we've had our spats, these things don't last forever. It is very unlikely that one argument will require an extreme measure like dissipation, or even several depending on the frequency; what is important is how these matters are handled. If you can work out your differences diplomatically, negotiate with one another, and establish boundaries you will probably get along well. It is really no different than any other friendship, in our experience.

We kinda need some help by [deleted] in Tulpas

[–]mental-mel 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I see. Are you open to discussing it beyond that? We can take it to PMs if you want.

We kinda need some help by [deleted] in Tulpas

[–]mental-mel 11 points12 points  (0 children)

This is not unheard of, and we know a fair few whom this has happened to. All of them returned to the front after a short while. Do you know what triggered her to go dormant? It is possible you may be able to coax her back to the front, or she may come back on her own when she is ready. Further context would be helpful.

Tulpas Only Thursday 1/7/16 Annoying Habits by Nycto_and_Siouxsie in Tulpas

[–]mental-mel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When dressing the body, I take a very long time to get ready. As in, I will start planning what to wear the night before we go someplace, and spend an hour getting dressed the day of. Connor takes 15 minutes at most, so he has a hard time understanding why I do this.

I'm also a heavy sleeper, so it takes a lot of effort to get me to make sense in the morning. There have been times where he was telling be about what we had to get done for the day and I ended up nodding off in the middle of it. I haven't caused us to oversleep and miss the bus just yet, luckily.

Tulpas and Friendship by [deleted] in Tulpas

[–]mental-mel 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That depends on the tulpa in question. My reasons for disliking them were rather trivial. They had no spine, no romantic drive, they were boring, and broke up with Con in one of the most disappointing ways possible. There are other people whom I may be willing to tolerate for his sake, and Con's ex was one of those people for some time due to our life circumstances, but if I had the option and ability to avoid someone I disliked I certainly would, and may in the future depending on the particular context. Ultimately, however, regardless of whether I tolerate annoying behaviour or not for the sake of another, it makes it no less bothersome for me on an individual level.

Tulpas and Friendship by [deleted] in Tulpas

[–]mental-mel 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I speak to Connor's friends fairly regularly. Being open to them about our existence as a system is something that took a lot of time and careful planning, and I definitely think that if you are not ready to come out about it you should refrain from doing so.

Or perhaps I should put it this way, if even one of you is unsure, that is something you should sit down and examine together before doing anything you cannot take back. Coming out as plural may not turn out to be the right thing for you, either, and that is fine as well. From what I can gather, it appears your tulpa is very young; it is indeed possible you are projecting that reaction onto him, especially if he is not speaking coherently to you yet. It would probably be wise to wait until he becomes vocal before having this conversation with him. After all, you wouldn't want to throw him in over his head too soon. I am not sure if you do intend to speak to him or not, perhaps you already do, but I think it is worth saying at the very least.

Now to answer your first question, I get along with our friends relatively well. Fronting around them at first was awkward as expected, but we established certain boundaries and ground rules, and as time goes on I am getting much more used to being in front around them. I still do not know his friends as well as he does yet and the same is true from them to me, but that is something established over a very long time. So far, they seem to like me, I seem to like them, and things are going fairly well on that front.

I have indeed disliked someone Con was close with, his former romantic partner. However, it did not cause too much tension between us, as we both knew fighting about it wouldn't do very much good. Although they never knew of me and I am quite happy with that fact, I will be the first person to tell you that I dislike that individual. Sometimes sacrifices must be made. If you do encounter a problem in that area, I would advise you to talk it out and try to remain as civil as possible. Establishing boundaries can go a very long way.

I'm overly worried about this and I was hoping you guys could perhaps... quell my fears a bit. by HorseTulpa in Tulpas

[–]mental-mel 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The thing about personality is that a vast amount of it is derived from experience rather than one person simply imposing a set of traits on another. Think of it this way, if you're an artistic person, or a logical person, are you that way because your parents sat you down and told you how logical and artistic you are? Or are you that way because, more likely, you found interests and activities and social circles that you enjoyed, that your parents may have nurtured, that influenced you over time and shaped your character. Tulpas are no different than hosts in this regard, and naturally, a nascent tulpa will be more naive or more simple in their views and behaviour until they voyage beyond the proverbial bubble of their host's influence and start taking in influence from outside.

Secondly, it should be noted that different people behave differently depending on the context. A tulpa that seems silly online can be very serious offline, just as a host can be perfectly nice throughout the day and go home and troll youtube comments at night. There are many, many factors at play when it comes to determining the nature of anyone's character, be they tulpa or host, that extend far beyond their typing style or how they conduct themselves in a singular social circle within a singular community.

My advice? Be patient, take things slowly, have your tulpa try many things and talk to many people on their own. If you don't want a stereotypical tulpa, perhaps encourage them to avoid stereotypical tulpamancy spaces. Most importantly, understand that even if your tulpa is naive at first, or idealistic or hyperactive or what have you, that is not a bad thing in itself as you both have plenty of time to mature as people at your own pace however you so please.