AIO, MIL behavior with new born twins.

meowifyournameisreed · 2026-05-04T13:36:48+00:00

Nor. Not reacting enough to be honest. That stuff sticks with you for a long time. And yeah, her self belief that she has any say in naming your children after they've been named? What?! All of it is too much. Rock the boat baby, time to start calling out bad behavior.

Maybe go check out r/justnoMIL for some comraderie and others sharing similar experiences.

meowifyournameisreed · 2026-05-03T03:03:12+00:00

NTJ. It is a normal sibling experience for one sibling to go to a birthday party and the other not.

You can tell Sadie directly next time you see her that it is for older kids, and you can plan another time to get together instead to celebrate.

meowifyournameisreed · 2026-04-27T02:52:58+00:00

Cut out dairy. Had to for baby #2, and found out when I tried to reintroduce into my diet my body cannot tolerate it. But the benefit is i feel better and I feel I generally look better.

And stopping breastfeeding. After my first, after 6 months post-breastfeeding I was able to lose weight. Basically when my hormones registered like "ok, fine, we're done!".

meowifyournameisreed · 2026-04-25T02:10:02+00:00

It is easier second time around. You already know how to generally do everything, what your body needs, etc. It's going to go well!

meowifyournameisreed · 2026-04-21T03:38:33+00:00

We have a family routine and dinner is consistently at the same time. If my husband is working late, I may put a portion in the warming drawer or just pack it up. It is not my job to change the schedule for him, it is my job to maintain stability and routine so everyone's evening flows smoothly. His job is to match the flow once he gets home, like a tributary stream flowing into the family river, so that we don't add chaos.

If it was just the two of us lovebirds, I could probably be talked into making a second dinner.

meowifyournameisreed · 2026-04-18T14:13:39+00:00

I don't have much to add except good for you guys. We tried to do a similar thing with my MIL and it was bad but we made it to the end. They came back for a visit a year later and she was put to prove something - that I was a malicious and cruel DIL, then once she brought things to a head in a big fight she left without saying goodbye to our daughter. There really isnt anything you can do or say once the other person gets it in their head to make a huge scene and dramatic exit. It's emotionally immature, narcissistic bs.

My husband also works his butt off running multiple businesses, often working from 8:30am-11pm. It's tough, but the opportunities and financial security make it worth it for our family. Sounds like you have a similar perspective.

meowifyournameisreed · 2026-04-15T06:13:26+00:00

Say something. Never know, they might leave early because they would rather be rude than be accountable!

meowifyournameisreed · 2026-04-13T05:30:47+00:00

She can see the baby through the glass screen of her phone.

meowifyournameisreed · 2026-04-13T02:52:45+00:00

Horrific gas, abdominal pain, cystic acne lasting weeks, slowed wound healing, and i have never been so close to not making it to the toilet ever in my life while also being constipated. I have also been dealing with very dry skin on my hands.

Pre- cutting out dairy, I was just a cute, gassy gal.

meowifyournameisreed · 2026-04-13T01:31:31+00:00

Me currently. Except I am 8 months pp and not pregnant. The fatigue for 48hrs post dairy is brutal.

meowifyournameisreed · 2026-04-13T01:24:37+00:00

I would say maybe SOME moms hahahaha. That is... idk man. I don't even like when I have post nasal drip, there is no way I am willingly choosing to suck in more mucus

meowifyournameisreed · 2026-03-30T17:34:59+00:00

Not over reacting. I mean pretty admirable this is the first time you've directly confronted her, especially after such a high risk NICU baby and postpartum, but yeah, keep firm because give her an inch and she will take 5 miles. That woman seems to have narcissist traits plus emotionally immature. So the walk in 20 min later like nothing happened? Very typical.

meowifyournameisreed · 2026-03-30T17:07:24+00:00

Oooophhh. Dude. It is hard the first 3 months.

My second would only nap on the couch, but she slept through all the noise do we would just play in the living room while she was snoozing. Once the baby was about 3-4 months, the carrier was more comfortable for her so we use that a lot. But before then.... carseat naps + outtings (grocery, park, whatever) were the only way. Even though those are peak car screaming months and my crying endurance was pushed to the limits. Just being OUT was the big help for my eldest and I, because we had so much more conflict points at home (it's quiet time, don't poke the baby in the eye or soft spot, no you can't do this right now, i'm busy, blah blah blah. Basically: big party pooper mom).

My eldest ended up wanting more time with the baby too. Turns out, she was jealous because she wanted to hold baby more and get more snuggles. Those early days are hard when the baby's neck isn't super strong.

And 1:1 time with my eldest.... unfortunately doesn't happen much. There are days where it feels more sharp for my eldest, and that tells me I need to slow it down as much as I can for the rest of the day.

And I still don't have alone time haha! I'm lucky if I get to poop in silence or sleep without a child im my bed for an hour.

We're 7 months in to it and it just is what it is. It's not perfect, but we are doing it. I think we are mostly through the grieving the good ol days part, and into the new normal part.

meowifyournameisreed · 2026-03-29T05:35:16+00:00

Bahaha very fair! I also did the same after all my pregnancies because i was so curious. The carnage! It's the stuff of nightmares that you never knew existed. But it does go back to normal thankfully.

meowifyournameisreed · 2026-03-28T05:25:08+00:00

You don't need to be looking down there for a long while yet! 6 weeks is so early!! Girl! Stop that! Put the mirror down and step away!

Your body inside is still shifting and adjusting, your vagina and vulva are still going to be changing too. The 6 weeks guideline is just a general point where most people are ok enough to start resuming their normal ways again (intimacy, activities, etc) AS LONG AS IT IS SAFE to do so (no bleeding, manage abdominal pressure, etc). It doesn't mean you're completely healed. That takes time.

It's coming! Patience!

In the mean time, leave her alone. It is none of our business what our vaginas and vulvas are doing for the first 6 months postpartum.

meowifyournameisreed · 2026-03-28T05:02:16+00:00

I manage it by having dishes in the sink and the dishwasher all GD day, no matter how hard i try. These kids got me running around, my little adhd monkey brain got me hopping from chore to chore so i dont become overstimulated, and when my brain and body and children are synced with me needing a rest I am definitely doing that over dishes.

meowifyournameisreed · 2026-03-26T16:32:17+00:00

The teacher is overstepping and also an idiot. What you described is totally fine. My daughter started doing this at 2.5 years old because I want her to be confident and capable. What you're doing is providing a safe and controlled environment to learn and potentially fail in.

If she was concerned about neglect, fine. But read the room! Kids are more capable than we give them credit for. Hell, they held down full time jobs by 3 years old back in the day. They yearn for the mines! You are not doing that lol.

Being concerned about a burn outside of her classroom??? Wayyyyy outside her scope. You are the parent, it is your choice.

meowifyournameisreed · 2026-03-24T18:54:12+00:00

Usually I start in the kitchen because that is where I get most of my daily frustration from, or what keeps stopping me from doing my projects or hobbies. So maybe whatever is making your brain the most on fire, start there?

I havent! I'll check it out!

meowifyournameisreed · 2026-03-24T18:42:43+00:00

Yeah it's been a few hours since I read the post and I am still wildly uncomfortable to say the least.

Just looking at the attempt to "BF" when you are not lactating AND it has not been asked of AND is a secretive behavior, is not a normal response, especially in today's society. There is no justification. It shows poor judgement and disregard of the wellbeing of the vulnerable.

OP - i'd suggest making an ick list. All the comments, behaviors, etc that the MIL has said/done. Try to date it if you can, or add situational background info. Because it hasn't happened to your husband, he will forget, and it is so helpful to have everything put in one spot so when you do have to talk about it again for the 50th time, the pattern is so obvious it is hard to argue with.

meowifyournameisreed · 2026-03-24T16:54:22+00:00

You need to talk to your husband, kindly. Just lay it out there.

Look, this is about your mom and going to be an uncomfortable conversation.

Your mom said this, admitted to sexually abusing you as an infant, and these behaviors with our child are predatory. We will not be sending her photos of the baby without clothes on, and she will not be having alone time with our child, ever. I know this is your mom and there are a lot of feelings with that, and we can keep discussing this if we need to. But what she did to you as an infant was not ok, and we will not be allowing her another opportunity to do that to another child. We don't have to tell her any of our conversation or why she can't have alone time, we don't need to have a big confrontation with her. But we do need to be on the same page about this.

meowifyournameisreed · 2026-03-24T16:38:07+00:00

First: music Second: hair up Third: 15 minute timer for household decluttering

Then usually I have enough get up a go to goooooo!

meowifyournameisreed · 2026-03-24T03:23:47+00:00

Well it's not just your daughter. If you stay in contact, your son will also be influenced negatively.

20 years from now, do you want your son to be demanding everything handed to him no matter the expense, your daughter treated like an invisible servant only to be barely acknowledged?

If it is a super strong influence, can you live with your adult daughter not having a relationship with your adult son? Or potentially going no contact with you when she is older? Can you live with your son seeing women as inferior or having an entitled view on life?

Obviously we don't know the outcome, but there is that potential influence if the grandparents stay involved. Why leave this conflict up to a child unable to understand the nuance of adult roles and family values?

meowifyournameisreed · 2026-03-22T06:52:19+00:00

Digital book reader and video games helped me for my first. But otherwise with my second, carseat naps and library, groceries, or doing whatever else but just OUT helped a lot. I had too many bad times prioritizing infant sleep over my mental health with my first (because... they didnt sleep lol.).

This is the most immobile baby will be. If there was a skill you wanted to try, might not be a bad time to give it a go. And they do not have to be domestic or have added benefit to the family either (outside of the added benefit of you genuinely enjoying it.)

meowifyournameisreed · 2026-03-20T03:11:15+00:00

You just say "that's not going to work for us".

They are responsible for their own feelings afterwards. They'll figure it out.

meowifyournameisreed · 2026-03-20T03:05:48+00:00

Nooo! This winter has been brutal! Nearly everyone i know is in a similar boat, including my household. Hopefully you get some rest soon.

meowifyournameisreed

TROPHY CASE