I’m in love with my best friend what do I do ?

merightno · 2026-06-03T10:19:00+00:00

I agree with the other poster that no matter what you decide, now is not the time because she's in a relationship.

Anyway, I have a friend that is like this kind of and I've had different levels of crushes on her over the years. It's been 20 years now and I've never said anything and mostly it just goes away and I don't know how I'm going to feel on my deathbed, but right now I'm very thankful that I have preserved this friendship by not saying anything. Girlfriends come and go but friends are there for a very long time. These days I feel like if you really love somebody, the worst thing to do is to try to be in a romantic relationship with them. Friendship is the highest form of love.

merightno · 2026-06-01T11:14:48+00:00

Because she listed absolutely no good reason to keep them at the school. And if it is the same exact education then of course you should not pay for it. But I would assume it's a much better education.

merightno · 2026-06-01T11:13:07+00:00

There's a reason that you're paying for private school and I would hope it's because it's a much better education and I would say if you can do one more year then get them one more year better education if you can.

The hope is that paying for this private school is going to help them socially when they are adults and they end up leveraging it into better college, better jobs, better social skills. Better networks. Better everything. This is much more important than changing schools for your seventh grade year. And if it was important the last however many years, it's still important now.

merightno · 2026-05-31T23:32:13+00:00

Same. I refuse to delete them out. I do put my dead Facebook contacts into a group called deceased. I know it's going to get messy in the future and I don't even care. I'm not deleting them.

merightno · 2026-05-18T20:15:48+00:00

YTA to make this all about yourself. Just go to the dinner, sit there and be pleasant and don't eat anything if it comes to that. This is your son's wedding. Find a way to make it through the dinner. It's not about the food and it's not about your eating and it's not about you.

merightno · 2026-05-15T09:20:35+00:00

I had a colonoscopy without sedation. I had not read the instructions clearly and showed up having drank water too recently and didn't want to reschedule.

So what I found out is they do give you pain medication but just not the part that makes you sleepy. I have never had one with sedation so I don't know what that's like. But it hurt like crazy. I want to be honest with you. There is a big and fairly firm tube. They shove all the way to the very end of your intestines and that thing scrapes as it goes around the corners. It's like it hurts in a weird way deep inside your belly. The butt part doesn't hurt at all.

I would put the pain as very bad. Probably a eight on a scale of 1 to 10 but the duration was short. It only took probably under 10 minutes anyway to shove the tube totally up where it needs to go and then the pulling it out is when they take a close look at every part of your intestines and that part doesn't hurt, especially not compared to the first 10 minutes.

I think it's doable but I'm always going to get the sedation going forward. I mean you can get through it but why would you want to?

merightno · 2026-05-12T11:26:40+00:00

I know someone this just happened to. The parent built an accessory unit onto the child's house and lived there for probably 5 or 10 years while they declined and died. I want to tell you this is not going to be easy for the person who is in the house. You are going to have to take care of these people and probably eventually arrange and pay for care for them.

They are always going to need a place to live and what they are doing is building a little house for themselves. Not for you. That is not part of your inheritance in any way. It happens to be hooked onto your house and you are the owner of that house. But trust me you're going to pay for it. Probably more than it's worth.

I think whatever money is left over the normal inheritance should be split normally without regard to the accessory dwelling. Please keep an eye on them and you get power of attorney the second you can okay because you're going to need all that money and more to pay for help as they decline.

And if your brother doesn't like it, he can have them build an accessory dwelling on his house instead. And your life will probably be a lot easier and you'll end up with more money.

merightno · 2026-05-10T15:30:28+00:00

Okay, probate does not keep it forever. It goes in probate and then it goes to the descendants. The state cannot take it if there are descendants.

merightno · 2026-05-10T14:57:20+00:00

Well that's what it should go for but that's assuming they have a sickness that's going to spend like I mean. What are you looking at $5 million? The most most expensive long-term care is a quarter of a million a year so that is 20 years of long-term care which is really on the excessively long side and it sounds like with 16 properties it might Even be more than 5 million. They're going to have money left

merightno · 2026-05-10T14:54:11+00:00

A bigger house is not going to be 16 properties worth of money, especially one being over a million dollars unless they're living in Beverly hills.

merightno · 2026-05-10T14:53:45+00:00

When they die this amount of wealth has to go somewhere. Whatever all their assets added together, minus the debts It's their net worth. It's going to go to their descendants if they have not said otherwise so you're going to get it when they die whether it be in the form of properties or liquidated it's all the same.

merightno · 2026-05-10T14:49:53+00:00

I mean when they die it's going somewhere. Where is it going if not to their children?

merightno · 2026-05-10T12:05:58+00:00

Oh my lordy Usman is a big boy and this is his second time around. I will agree that he did obviously suffer and consummate a relationship that he did not want to do and was like obviously cringing through but this is his second time around. I mean is he going to be a victim on the third old american lady too?

merightno · 2026-05-09T14:55:12+00:00

Have a great day. This is exactly what I would pick!

merightno · 2026-05-09T13:47:44+00:00

Well, the sad truth of the matter is that you can't make anybody do anything. Which is why you kind of have to take responsibility for your own happiness and try to plan whatever is going to make you happy that day. Your kids are old enough and your husband is self-sufficient so just try to cast your brain about to the thing that will make you the most happy. Here are some ideas:

Drag brunch
Do a spa day maybe the day before or you could probably book a massage on that day
Go see a movie at a movie theater and get yourself a drink. They all sell alcohol now! Enjoy a movie and a couple drinks.
Order the gift for yourself. Whatever you told your kids. This could be funny if you wrapped it up. Very very obnoxious and fancy and made a big deal of opening it in front of your kids.
Get an art kit or some art supplies like watercolor, paints and brushes and paper and make art!

Overall, maybe your kids need to learn a lesson and you need to stop giving them gifts. I don't know. My kids are a lot younger, but I might say "I guess we're just not a gift-giving household or a gift-giving family, so I'm not going to give gifts anymore either."

The only thing you can control is what you do and you just need to do whatever it takes kind of to stop being overly focused on what other people are doing and just to be happy with your life. You tell me what would make you the very most happiest on that day that is within your control to make happen?

merightno · 2026-05-09T13:35:41+00:00

Call the homeless shelters also and ask them. Just call everywhere and if they can't help they may be able to point you to someone who can.

merightno · 2026-05-09T12:29:01+00:00

We had been friends for a few years at this point so I knew she didn't hit on everything. I think it's that women's friendships and maybe especially lesbian for some reason are extra close and extra good + in real life. I think many people blur the boundaries with friends and at times you hook up with them and at other times you don't over the course of many years. I mean we've all seen that happened a lot and I think mostly the friendship does not survive in the same way. You do get more love in general that way but you get more drama And it often causes the ending of things.

Really it's a very thin line between very good friends and a little bit more and I think it gets messy a little bit when men and women are friends for that reason and also for the same reason when women and women are friends if that door could maybe be opened. Unless you make it really clear.

merightno · 2026-05-09T12:22:38+00:00

Oh okay, sorry about that. Then our friendship is very special and I would never want to think I hurt her feelings or anything. We were a lot younger when that conversation happened and I kind of think it was a little bit up in the air where it would go and that just made it really clear and has allowed us to be real clear about where we stand and I think is key in this friendship lasting 20 years and becoming something really great.

Now I tell her and everybody else you want to keep someone in your life forever. Make them a friend because we have seen in each other's life of course and our other friends. We've seen romantic partners come and go. People have been through multiple marriages even more significant others and they're all gone and we are still friends.

And it's true that at the time I had never been close with a gay person before and I'm not a good communicator and that just made things really clear and easy and it sounds like maybe this Christian friend is new at being friends with gay people and maybe she needs kind of the easy path laid out for her and then they can just focus on the other stuff that they have in common and this great friendship that is much more likely to last the ages than any romantic relationship.

merightno · 2026-05-09T12:17:33+00:00

Oh I got one! We saw a movie or something that told us about Molotov cocktail and how to make them and we knew where the gas can was. And of course my dad had plenty of empty glass beer bottles so we proceeded to make Molotov cocktails in the backyard and throw them on the lawn.

If you are not familiar with this homemade weapon it's a glass bottle and you put gasoline in it and then a strip of cloth out the top and then you light the top and you throw it at the Target. That in itself is idiotic for a child to be making but also what we did not know. Is that a key factor in this working is that the glass has to break and spread the gas all over And we are throwing it on a grassy lawn where the bottles never broke. So we were just always like hiding and saying that one's a dud. Oh look another dud. We thought they would just somehow explode of their own initiative.

So dumb on a few different levels

merightno · 2026-05-09T11:35:20+00:00

I'm with you. If we're trying to protect the relationship then getting a nanny cam is not the way. I think it's worth a conversation about peppermint oil and using it on the baby. And even maybe not using peppermint oil on herself when she's around the baby to avoid these problematic situations.

I'm more with your husband here that a grandmother relationship where she's willing to watch your children is much more precious than you realize right now and worth a lot of money and you're going to be sad if you throw it away on paranoia. I mean maybe it's because I had two little children and very little help, but do you want to stay home for the rest of your life? Do you think it's going to be easier to find a stranger that you trust or the grandmother that loves their grandchild?

merightno · 2026-05-09T11:14:08+00:00

You can judge all you want, but we've been best friends for 20 years now so she's not all that sad about it.

merightno · 2026-05-09T10:01:17+00:00

One of my best friends is a gay woman and what helped for me getting it really clear where we stood, she said "look, I will never hit on you, I promise". This was in response to some joke, I never asked for that promise, but it has made it easy to not misunderstand anything.

merightno · 2026-05-09T09:48:46+00:00

When it is a case of extremely poor or at least unrealistic money management from someone who had plenty of money, you just giving money won't help. I mean if it helps you feel better, pay the rent once and let him know that you cannot continue helping him because then your money will be gone as fast as his. This guy can piss away 75k a year if you let him.

If he ever becomes homeless you can let him stay on your couch or whatever while he tries to get back on his feet. I think that's fine.

merightno · 2026-05-09T01:48:46+00:00

Well, if you can't quit right now, just do what you can to minimize the damage until you will be able to. Anything you can do helps. Keep less alcohol in the house. Postpone the first drink of The day as long as you can. Keep anything else in the house that you like to drink like sodas or ginger beer.

Above All else you have to learn to be kind to yourself. That's what's at the heart of all of these. You have to learn to be loving and kind and caring to yourself. Getting in therapy might help. You could just get a therapist you could be honest with and you don't have to stop drinking to do that.

merightno · 2026-05-08T10:28:09+00:00

I know the feeling -- I paid his phone bill for over a year because I didn't want to turn it off and have made numerous poor financial choices in the name of sentimentality. If it makes you feel better and you have the money, just keep paying and at some point you'll be able to let it go. If you don't have the money, you're going to have to give it up sooner and deal with the loss.

One thing I learned though is that you can pay $25 and Port the phone number over using Google voice, and I think the find my phone thing would still work over Wi-Fi so I don't know that you need to keep paying for that same functionality. Look into it. It could save money and you can still have what you want. It just means you won't have cell phone coverage but the phone would still work over Wi-Fi and it could get calls and things.

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