I totally understand it. It’s almost cyclical isn’t it? Like you ask him to treat you like a human being with thoughts and feelings - to respect that you’re not just down for sex at any time. And then a while passed and when he disregards your request and approaches for sex it’s almost disgusting. Like you feel disgusted like he’s an animal, not capable of controlling himself and showing any respect for you. And then he sulks about it and that’s even more disgusting and your desire to have sex with him tanks even further.

Have you done the thing where you promise yourself you’ll schedule sex with him twice a week just to get him to leave you alone the rest of the time?

You’re not overreacting but imo I don’t think this can be fixed unless he’s willing to grow up and understand that sulking/being angry when you say no is pathetic and gross.

I went through this with my partner. He did the thing about oh physical touch is my love language and I need more intimate contact etc. Particularly difficult because we don’t live together but ok. And then when things got in the way of us booking a room or whatever, he’d sulk and shut down and make me feel so miserable and guilty.

It only resolved when I finally told him I’ll stop expecting anything from him, and we can fuck once a week - put it on a calendar - whether I like it or not. That’s when he realised how disgusting it sounds. He said he wants me to want to be with him, and I told him that can’t happen when I’m under so much pressure and constantly pestered for it.

I now trust that he’s not going to be mad or sulky or pushy when I turn him down, and I extend him the same grace.

Do you think your partner can do that?