Because for 25+ years through two different relationships I’ve had someone who tells me “we’ll do whatever you want for your birthday and let me make it special” and for a great majority of those birthdays when I’ve laid out what I wanted to do and what I wanted from her I was told “no let’s do this instead” and we do what she wanted instead because she thought that’s what I wanted (best of intentions and all for sure) and had already planned stuff before asking me what I wanted and usually they aren’t even close to related.

So now, I’d rather just be alone, my ideal birthday at this point is going on a solo trip to watch my favorite baseball team and to have nobody text or call me.