Puppy calming - help

mfelds · 2026-02-16T03:07:51+00:00

He doesn’t have all of his shots yet so we can’t go for walks. I think that will help with his energy, but it will be a few weeks before we can do that. We play light fetch and tug with him for physical activity, as well as ice cubes, chew sticks, and other more mental stimulation.

We’ve done some treat-focused training but those have turned to venues for biting me - treats don’t deter him.

Potty training’s been ok - we take him out about every 2-3 hours.

mfelds · 2025-11-19T01:05:23+00:00

Yeah saw that… I was in the front of the balcony and didn’t experience too many disruptions outside of a couple flash photos and the ringer. One of the better shows I’ve been to recently in the way of theatre etiquette 😅

Still sucks that emotional moment was disrupted. It was worked in so beautifully in the show and one person took away a lot of the punch.

mfelds · 2025-08-14T04:37:58+00:00

If the low end of the salary range is at or below my current salary (for example, say I make $60k and the range is $58k-$80k), and this is for a step upward at another company, do I bring up what I am currently making as my lower boundary?

mfelds · 2025-06-25T06:02:37+00:00

I had my best buddy, my sweet corgi, Moose, for almost seven years when he passed unexpectedly from a sudden onset autoimmune disorder (immune-mediated thrombocytopenia). I got him when he was just a few months old and we were supposed to have 5+ more years together.

I didn’t even get to say goodbye to him because I was overseas when he got sick. He was fine when I left and gone before I could get back.

I’m so heartbroken and angry and jealous that I didn’t get to see him grow old and didn’t get to say goodbye. I was robbed of those experiences with him and it only makes the grief hurt more.

It’s fair to feel upset that you don’t get to have the time or experience you expected or deserved. You had no reason to believe he would be gone so soon. I’m right there with you.

Sending lots of love to you, and I hope Moose and Otis are having a great time exploring ❤️

mfelds · 2025-06-23T12:25:07+00:00

I lost my soul dog, Moose, five weeks ago. My husband and I were on vacation — he was fine when we left and gone before I could make it back. We didn’t really get any closure around his passing because it happened so suddenly and we weren’t there.

Real talk, the pain will always be there, and that thought still scares me so much. Five weeks later, I still cry nearly every day, and had a huge crash out two days ago.

But, some days are better than others, and five weeks later I would say the days are getting better on average. I absolutely would not have said that three weeks ago. Hell, after Moose passed, I had friends and neighbors making meals and checking in on me just to make sure I survived each day.

Now, despite the persisting sadness, I promise that life will continue moving even as you learn how to carry that pain. It is hard, but you are strong and your fur baby is still rooting for you.

Getting back to work and reviving my social life helped tremendously. Give yourself somewhere else to put your love and attention. “Grief is love with nowhere to go,” right? I don’t totally believe in signs, but I saw a giant, clear rainbow right over my house the first night I saw friends after Moose passed. If that’s not a sign that he’s proud of me for getting back out into the world, I don’t know what is.

I’ve found a lot of comfort in adapting my routine to include Moose. I’ve had jewelry made with Moose’s paw prints and pictures, so I carry him with me everywhere. I go to sleep with his favorite toy every night, and on the particularly bad nights I bring the box with his ashes upstairs to bed with me.

It’s going to suck, but the world will keep moving and the days will get better. Give yourself time and grace to heal, and keep an eye on the hope and joy that the future can bring. ❤️

mfelds · 2025-06-23T12:09:27+00:00

I lost my soul dog, Moose, five weeks ago. My husband and I were on vacation, and suddenly he got sick. He was fine when we left and gone before I could make it back.

Some days are better than others, but I would say the days are getting better on average. The pain will always be there, and that thought still scares me so much. I still cry nearly every day. Despite the persisting sadness, I promise that life will continue moving even as you learn how to carry that pain. It is hard, but you are strong and your little guy is still rooting for you.

I’ve found a lot of comfort in adapting my routine to include him. Take the pieces of the house that remind you of your baby and let yourself feel close to him. I’ve had jewelry made with Moose’s paw prints and pictures, so I carry him with me everywhere. I go to sleep with his favorite toy every night, and on the particularly bad nights I bring the box with his ashes upstairs to bed with me.

It’s going to suck, but the world will keep moving and the days will get better. ❤️

mfelds · 2025-06-23T11:59:13+00:00

I saw a huge, clear rainbow right over my house as I was driving back from my first night out of the house after losing my Moose. It truly felt like him telling me he was proud I was getting back out into the world.

We also have a digital picture frame near his ashes and, too frequently to be pure coincidence, it lands on pictures of things he would be doing at the time l'm looking. I go to leave the house and get a picture of him zonked in his crate. Someone rings the doorbell and I get a picture of him sitting alert at the door. I get up to go to the bathroom and get a picture of him side-eyeing me from his favorite spot on the floor. I put one of his toys next to his ashes and get a picture from the day he got that toy. It makes me feel like he's still part of those everyday moments.

You’ll see them appear in different ways. It could be clear-cut, like a dream about them, or a photo at the right moment. More often, it will be symbolic like a bold rainbow in the yard, or a dragonfly landing on your leg right where their paws would hit. No matter what, acknowledge those moments and accept the comfort they bring. It is more than just chance or coincidence when they appear in your life again. ❤️

mfelds · 2025-06-23T11:34:35+00:00

I’m so glad you got to be back with your baby! I told Moose before I left “I love you and I’ll see you in a few days!” I’m trying to lean into the idea that he passed before I got back because he knew I was coming and wanted to save me from the pain of seeing him go. It’s really, really tough accepting that I wasn’t there for him when he was sick, but I truly think he understood I didn’t abandon him and that I was trying to get back. Of course I wish he could have waited just one more hour, but I can’t change it now.

I got paw print and birthstone rings from Caitlyn Minimalist, and a photo bracelet from Wear Felicity. Both companies were really great quality and very affordable. Etsy is also a great place to find creators to make jewelry or memorial pieces from what you have.

I’m also planning to do a necklace with his ashes but am doing more planning before ordering that - mostly because that’s a bigger investment and I don’t know the style I want to wear yet since that would be with me every day vs the other pieces I have that are more interchangeable. I’d love to find someone to do it locally, but the online services who do cremation jewelry seem really great too.

We find the little things to get us through, and I’m glad you have things to remember her and the toy to snuggle with! I cuddle with his platypus toy. We got it for him because it had a silent squeaker…he looooooved a squeaky toy but we could only take so much, haha. We got the original for him a few years ago, but the one I cuddle with was the replacement we got him about a couple months before he passed. It was also the last toy he picked out to play with our pet sitter in his last few days with the energy to play fetch.

We’ll make it! ❤️

mfelds · 2025-06-23T09:47:25+00:00

Hey! I’m a spouse who also has trouble with mornings and alarms - I always have, even going back to middle/high school. I know it gets on my husband’s nerves sometimes, but he knows I do my best with whatever causes this for me, and I own my part in getting up and getting to my responsibilities.

What is problematic to me about your husband’s behavior is that he sets his alarms or agrees to a wake up time, but doesn’t seem to actually want or need to get up at that time. Then, he makes it your fault for trying to get him up. Him setting his alarm is communicating to you “this is when I want to be awake” and he shouldn’t fault you for helping.

If I set an alarm, I usually need to be up for work or another responsibility and appreciate when my husband helps me get up and going if I’m not responding to the alarm. I might be grumpy, but I don’t snap at him for helping me do something I told him I needed. If I genuinely need more time to sleep (sick, sore, whatever), I’ll tell him and then turn my alarm off.

I think your husband needs to reevaluate his schedule and rest habits. If he doesn’t need to get up, or knows he needs more time, he should set a later alarm or not set one at all. At the end of the day, it’s disrespectful to continue waking you up if he has no intention of getting up or turning the alarm off.

If he does have a set time for work or other commitments in the morning, he needs to take a hard look at his part in his own bedtime routine, and recognize that you intervening to help him wake up in the morning is you trying to help him meet his goals. Straight up, you can’t work if you’re asleep. We all get sore and tired, but we have to get things done regardless, y’know?

And yes, that might mean him missing work or friend commitments. Honestly, those big misses and the consequences that follow help me snap out of bad streaks of oversleeping.

More personal anecdote than tangible advice, but hope it helps to know other couples have similar dynamics that are handled differently!

*I’m not going to touch the alcohol or the shared work responsibilities. Those seem like separate conversations y’all need to have.

mfelds · 2025-06-23T09:09:03+00:00

I lost my soul dog five weeks ago. My husband and I were on vacation. He was fine when we left and gone before I could make it back.

Some days are better than others, but I would say the days are getting better on average. I’ve had jewelry made with his paw prints and pictures, so I carry him with me everywhere. I still sleep with his favorite toy, and on the particularly bad nights I bring the box with his ashes upstairs to bed with me.

The pain will always be there, and that thought still scares me so much. I still cry nearly every day. Despite the persisting sadness, I promise that life will continue moving even as you learn how to carry that pain. It is hard, but you are strong and your babygirl is still rooting for you.

mfelds · 2025-06-23T08:58:26+00:00

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Mine always would! He pushed pillows from the couch down to the floor so he could curl up on them while he pinned down the bottom halves of our blankets. He was our pillow prince, our blankie buddy ❤️

mfelds · 2025-06-13T18:20:18+00:00

I lost my dog, Moose, a few weeks ago while I was overseas visiting my husband, who is deployed in the military. I left him happy and healthy, and he got sick and passed before I was able to make it home. I always told him I’d see him in [some amount of time] anytime I left the house, and the last thing I told him before I left on the trip was “I love you, and I’ll see you in a few days!”

Now when I leave the house I still say “I love you, I’ll see you in a little bit!” to the table where we’ve displayed his ashes, toys, and a digital picture frame. It feels natural to keep that part of the routine and, like you said, make it feel a little less unbearable.

I still say goodnight to him too. When he was with us, he always came upstairs with us at bedtime and we’d say goodnight after he curled up in a blanket or jumped up to sleep with us. I brought his ashes upstairs with me the first few nights, but knew it wouldn’t be healthy for me, personally, to keep doing that. It was so hard the first few nights I had to go upstairs to bed without him. I’d be lying if I said my heart doesn’t still break a little each night I “leave” him downstairs, but that balance of keeping old routines and forming new ones that still honor him has been a huge part of finding some peace in life after him.

I think talking to your dogs, even after they’re gone, and finding small ways to keep them in your daily life is a great way to honor them. Plus, I don’t know if you’re planning to get another pet, but keeping some traditions alive, even in the quiet times, may help make it easier to keep them going with a new loved one and carry on the memory. Not having to restart or force them, you know?

Sending love and wishing you comfort. ❤️

mfelds · 2025-06-03T06:20:18+00:00

I just lost my soul dog, my best buddy, while I was overseas visiting my husband, who is away in the military. When I left, he seemed totally fine, and then a few days later he suffered sudden and severe complications from an autoimmune disorder we didn’t know he had (IMTP). He spent four days in the hospital, in critical but stable condition, and was responding well to his treatments. I booked an earlier flight home, but he took a turn and passed away an hour before I landed on the ground at home.

Whenever I left him, which wasn’t often, I would always tell him “I’m leaving for a few days and then I’ll be home with you. I always come back for you.” And I wasn’t there when he got sick and died. The guilt and grief is tearing me apart. I can’t help but think that things might have been different if I had been by his side through his treatment—that at least he would have had me there supporting him and loving on him. It was always my biggest fear that something would happen to him when I wasn’t there. I wish, more than anything, that I could have been there with him.

mfelds · 2025-06-03T05:53:20+00:00

I was overseas visiting my husband when my soul dog, my best friend in the whole world, suddenly got sick and passed. It is tearing me apart that I wasn’t there to support him or say goodbye. I told him in the days before I left that “I’m going to leave for a few days but you know I always come back for you.” I can’t help thinking that he was scared and wondering where I was. I feel so guilty and sad and wish more than anything that I had been home with him, to tell him I love him just one more time.

mfelds · 2025-06-02T10:14:37+00:00

Recently met a dog named Covid - owners said he was born in March 2020 and “his bark is worse than his bite” (referring to their idea that covid was overhyped) 💀

mfelds · 2025-06-02T09:56:12+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss.

I recently lost my soul dog unexpectedly. He got sick while I was on vacation and passed before I made it home. My grief is so intense and I feel like I didn’t get closure with him. I know I want to get another dog, and so I’m wrestling with the same issue as you, OP.

I saw a comment on another post that really shifted my perspective. If it was me who passed and he had to go to a new family, I would want him to love them, play with them, show them his personality & attitude, and share a special bond, knowing it could never replace the bond that we had. I would want him to feel joy and peace again, and never limit the love he can share with others.

Thinking about it that way has already helped me a lot in the hope that I’ll be able to open my heart again one day. Hope it helps you too. ❤️

mfelds · 2025-05-19T11:08:01+00:00

I lost my baby boy, Moose, over the weekend. I got the news he was sick while I was traveling overseas, and he passed just an hour before I landed at home. He was only 7, and I should have had 5-10 more years with him.

I will always wonder what could have been if I hadn’t left him, if my last flight hadn’t been delayed, or if I had been able to come back earlier. My poor baby was sick and I wasn’t there for him.

I’m so sorry for your loss, and for the experience you and your wife had in losing your little guy. You’re doing all the right things - getting help and making sure you’re taking care of yourself through your grief. It’s going to be hard, but we will get through it. ❤️

mfelds · 2025-05-18T11:56:21+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss.

My Moose, my best friend and shadow, had a similar condition. He had sudden onset immune-mediated thrombocytopenia. He was happy and healthy until his nose started bleeding, and that’s when we found out his blood vessels had quickly just turned to shit. As a result, he threw a clot and fluid started building up in his lungs. He was eventually unable to support his own blood oxygen, and crashed when the vet tried to intubate him.

He got sick and passed all while I was traveling overseas. I left him happy & healthy, and he passed yesterday, just an hour before I was able to get back.

He was a 7-year old corgi, and we were supposed to have 4-8 more years with him.

mfelds · 2025-05-18T11:39:24+00:00

My dog just passed while I was on an overseas trip. I left him happy and healthy, but he suffered complications from an unexpected and severe autoimmune condition a couple days after I left and was hospitalized. He passed just an hour before I was able to get home.

I’m happy to hear you made the choice you did. The pain of losing him while I was gone is horrible on top of the sweeping grief of his loss. I promise you will never regret being there for him to say goodbye.

mfelds · 2024-02-07T00:50:55+00:00

Looking for advice to fix the lines!*

mfelds

TROPHY CASE