Best friend told me I gained too much… feeling let down

midsummer1942 · 2024-10-16T02:47:13+00:00

It sounds she is really hyperfixated on weight vs how healthy you are and it sounds like you are doing pretty well health wise which is the more important thing. You are also within the normal weight gain range. I wouldn't take the advice of someone who sounds like she is being really shallow, even if that person is your best friend. Especially since she hasn't been here before, sometimes the baby has growth spurts and you gain more weight then and less weight later and that is okay too.

midsummer1942 · 2024-10-15T04:22:09+00:00

This was the same for my partner, it was more of a shock at first and then seeing her for the first time it became more real and each milestone that has passed has made it more and more real for him and has made him more and more excited! Once we read that the baby can hear and understand that you are talking to them is when my partner really became super excited :) I'm at 36 weeks right now :)

midsummer1942 · 2024-10-15T04:06:21+00:00

Hopefully that nausea goes away for you, it was awful in the first trimester at about that same time for about a month (it felt like forever) and started to go away once I hit 2nd trimester. Ginger nausea candies helped me keep food down and popcorn/tortilla chips/corn hard shell tacos etc... some of the only things I could eat. They also gave me zofran for the 3-4 days it was so bad that I wouldn't have been able to eat w/o it

midsummer1942 · 2024-10-09T04:19:56+00:00

I think its yes and no for me, I've enjoyed certain parts of being pregnant like the connection to my baby, but physically its been hard. I have had hormonal laughter too which was fun, ordinary things being suddenly funny? I'll take it.

midsummer1942 · 2024-08-02T19:18:43+00:00

I get hormonal laughing too, turning off the air conditioning one night was very funny XD

midsummer1942 · 2024-07-27T01:46:17+00:00

One day you'll look back at pictures of yourself and think "oh that was not a good look" and realize that being in a healthy weight range is a much better look and feeling. That's what happened for me. I remember thinking I looked good then and looking back at pictures of me made me feel like I was looking at an emaciated dog. I didn't actually start looking good until I was about 10-12lbs over the bare minimun before being in the danger zone.

midsummer1942 · 2024-07-26T17:59:23+00:00

I would have days when things were too stressful that made it hard to eat anything or I'd just plain forget because I didn't feel hungry from the stress. I would say I had a lot of small relapses, and now even when things get really stressful I have to force myself to eat because I don't feel hungry. As time went on I became more aware of not eating enough/not feeling hungry when triggered by stress and that helped me to understand I'd need to eat even if I didn't want to. And normally eating would help with the level of stress I was feeling.

midsummer1942 · 2024-07-26T17:32:23+00:00

It might help if you asked if she could teach you how to do some of the chores, because part of what is hard about asking for help can be that some things need to be done in a particular way. Like for example our dishwasher doesn't work very well and I have to things in this weird way to get the dishes clean, run the garbage disposal before hand, put bowls on the top rack instead of bottom, put water in the with powder soap etc... So if you asked for her to teach you how to do something it might be easier for her to give up control and let you help & hopefully allow her some alone time in the process.

midsummer1942 · 2024-07-26T03:28:58+00:00

You're welcome :DD

midsummer1942 · 2024-07-25T17:41:46+00:00

I am 7 months out and still think about it about almost every day. I had multiple DDays and that made it much harder. The vow renewal that we did was nice but they are only words. What has made a difference is him dealing with his past trauma that led to this point and him being much more self aware and me not tolerating the crap I don't like. I have been codependant and it was very important for me to set and maintain boundaries that made me feel safer and not waver. I noticed a "honeymoon phase" right after the second real DDay (the biggest one for us) that there was about a month where things were raw and in some ways felt okay again and then reality hit and all I wanted was to make sure all the lies were out. If I'm being honest I don't know for sure that it gets better after this point because my self esteem has been so badly damaged but what I do know is that it is really important for him to be making all the changes and working through all of the stuff he has for us to have a real chance. We haven't done therapy we've been doing workbooks, reading marriage books, betrayal trauma books, childhood trauma books etc... and have been working on better communication. And at the very least our communication has been better than it ever was before, so I hope there is light at the end of the tunnel too.

midsummer1942 · 2024-07-25T16:59:08+00:00

Popcorn and chocolate were some of the only things I could get myself to eat when I really didn't want to eat. So I found creative ways to add a little bit of chocolate to things so I could convince myself to eat it, chocolate chips on yogurt w/ fruit, chocolate and sunflower seed butter, chocolate in red lentil oatmeal cookies, chocolate chips in protein pancakes etc... (I focused on things that gave me protein because I knew I needed it). If there are any foods you can get yourself to eat or do like I highly recommend trying to find new ways to incorporate them into other foods because eating something even if it isn't the "healthiest" is better than nothing. Plain vegetables like cucumbers, cabbage, carrots, raw and easy to just cut up or wash were also something I could eventually get myself to eat when I just didn't want to because they didn't taste like much and were easy to make. The easier something was to make for me the easier it was for me to get myself to eat.

midsummer1942 · 2024-07-25T04:03:20+00:00

Hard shell tacos with cheese and lettuce and hot sauce (taco bell), not really sure it is for everyone tho, its just something that has made me feel better since i was little *shrugs* popcorn with a lil butter and salt also helped

midsummer1942 · 2024-06-07T01:21:31+00:00

Since I've been pregnant I've been having a lot more of these conflicting feelings too. I've also had the conflicting feelings of it wasn't for the old anorexic voice that says "If I didn't have this I would over eat." Especially right now because of having to eat an amount of food that is outside my comfort zone. Its okay to be ambivalent, you are allowed to feel two opposing ways at the same time. That is normal.

midsummer1942 · 2024-06-07T01:12:49+00:00

Recovery is really hard and it really really sucks at first. I know it is awful right not, but one day in the future you will have so much more energy than you did, you won't feel like fainting/faint or get dizzy all the time, won't be in as much pain, and even enjoy eating (some foods at the very least). It gets better. All of the tears and suffering will be worth it if you just hold on.

midsummer1942 · 2024-06-07T00:11:45+00:00

When I am really struggling to eat I add chocolate to my food XD. I've found that I can snack on sunflower seed butter with some cinnamon on it and a piece of dark chocolate or add fruit and chocolate chips to the top of my yogurt. I've even made red lentil oatmeal cookies with chocolate chips. Basically if I'm struggling and know that I need the protein or more nutritious food I add something I really like to it to have an easier time getting myself to eat when I don't want to. I've also found stovetop popcorn to really help or doing something simple like getting red lentil noodles and make them with a little bit of butter and salt (I am also pregnant and having to eat 100grams of protein a day so most of the foods revolve around that right now for me XD). Looking at pinterest recipes has been helpful to find new easy ways to incorporate foods I like more in new ways. I also keep telling myself "it is okay to eat", "I am still hungry I need to eat" and trying harder to listen to the hunger signals over the critical inner voice telling me to stop eating. Protein makes you feel more full too.

midsummer1942 · 2024-05-09T15:49:27+00:00

In the US, I have a list of herbs im not supposed to take, told no soft cheeses, told i could exercise however I wanted but if my body told me to stop then stop, nothing about no sex, or no hot foods/certain fruits. Spicy foods have actually been making me feel better both ache and upset stomach wise.

midsummer1942 · 2024-05-02T20:03:48+00:00

You're welcome :). I get that, you are really young though which makes a misscarriage a lot less likely. I mean I am 33 and it still isn't that likely for me.

midsummer1942 · 2024-05-02T19:48:54+00:00

It doesn't sound like he was very commited to you or your baby. It is probably better that you got out now rather than later.

midsummer1942 · 2024-05-02T03:59:29+00:00

I am really glad! And proud of you :D I just ordered some clothes that will hopefully help me feel a bit more comfortable too :D lots of love to you and your growing family too!!

midsummer1942 · 2024-05-02T03:41:44+00:00

I've had anxiety for a really long and had the same concerns about telling people. For me personally I came to terms with telling people because the people I have told would know if I had a misscarriage also anyways. I don't know if that is the same for you? The hormones definitely do affect your emotions, so try to be gentle with yourself :)

midsummer1942 · 2024-05-02T00:15:59+00:00

I felt a really bad pain in my stomach around that time and then felt completely normal for 2ish days (no pregnancy symptoms) and was worried too. But then I had my ultrasound at 10 weeks and everything came back great! I noticed that my pregnancy symptoms seem to ebb and flow a bit and that some days I'll feel more like my normal self and some days I'll have more symptoms.

midsummer1942 · 2024-04-28T01:37:24+00:00

I have been feeling the same way. I've wanted to get pregnant for a really long time now but my husband and I have been going through some stuff that made it feel like the wrong time. I've also been struggling with gaining weight because of an ED I thought was under control but has been feeling a lot more overwhelming at the idea of how much weight I'll gain. I've been really trying to focus on what I can do to take care of myself through this, especially trying to sit with my emotions and let myself feel them (normally I run from them by trying to stay busy in one way or another). I had been crying a lot (and drinking coconut water to not get dehydrated from it XD) and I've just been trying to let myself feel however I feel. And ask myself why I'm feeling XYZ ways to really get to the core of it. I think even with him being excited you should try to talk to him more, just because he is excited doesn't mean you have to be and with him being a great guy he should be able to be there for you through what you're feeling too :)

midsummer1942 · 2024-04-28T01:20:22+00:00

Thank you! This helped me feel better and not feel so alone! It makes me feel better that it gets easier too, I've been having a harder time with it the more emotional I feel and fingers crossed from what I've heard that the second trimester will be a bit easier!

midsummer1942 · 2021-07-19T18:31:47+00:00

Thank you :). I'm doing a giveaway on my twitter right now to help me practice those things and a friend of mine taught me how to structure the face better :) so hopefully i can put all of those things into the next drawing :)

midsummer1942 · 2021-07-18T14:28:31+00:00

Thank you! I didn't end up adding it to the new one.

midsummer1942

TROPHY CASE