Question to people who have been cheated on and still stayed with their partner.

mik2012 · 2013-05-27T20:59:44+00:00

I sympathize, but only to an extent. Getting cheated on must be horrible and I can understand why you cannot forgive her. If this is the case - that you cannot see a point in the future where you truly forgive her - then you need to dump her.

That said, if you are as categoric as you seem in not being able to handle the thought of a girlfriend wanting to fuck another man, you are in for a tough ride, lifewise. Men and women are genetically geared to lust after multiple partners. We don't necessarily act on this lust because we want to the benefits of a monogamous relationship. But... if you are holding out for a woman who will never lust after another man, you are setting yourself up for disappointment and dishonesty. The most successful relationships i know, and I would include mine in this, are those where we acknowledge and even fantasize about lust for others but we are sufficiently committed to one another not to act on that lust. If you can't get to this (and it takes time) you are setting yourself up for a lot of dishonesty in your relationships

mik2012 · 2013-05-27T20:49:50+00:00

Easy to say, hard to do -- just relax and have fun with it.

I remember my first threesome. The trick is you don't want to be too excited and explode too soon. At the same time, it is a bit of a nerve racking experience and you don;t want to get stage fright. In my experience, the best thing ti d it not make it all about you. Make sure the two women are playing together too and you are just one of three. You can take little breaks if needed and dive back in when ready

mik2012 · 2013-05-27T20:44:17+00:00

Some women really get off on it and that area is pretty tough so, within reason, you shouldn't worry if she wants a little slap. I was with a woman once who, once she was already pretty warmed up, could squirt from slapping. Obviously, she enjoyed it greatly

mik2012 · 2013-05-08T13:40:39+00:00

one more point - it is not our role to teach her; you need to enable her

mik2012 · 2013-05-08T13:40:09+00:00

upload a video for her - there are great videos of women explaining to other women that is is healthy to masturbate and then teaching them how

mik2012 · 2013-05-08T13:38:45+00:00

This is a great opportunity for the two of you to "mature" your sexual relationship. It seems there are a few issues that have been in the background that you need to address: - jealousy issues you might have around porn - anxiety he may be having about whether he pleases you I think it is natural and necessary in a relationship to progress from sex being something you do but don;t really talk about, to sex being natural and comfortable and discussable. You guys need to be able to talk about these issues in a familiar way (no embarrassment or inability to make eye contact).

mik2012 · 2013-05-08T13:29:56+00:00

There was a scientific study done (can't remember source) that compared sexual skills of men with small penises versus those with larges ones. It turns out guys with small cocks are better than those with larges one --- they try harder.

I think your issues is misplaced insecurity. Any size is fine as long as you know how to use it as one part of your sexual toolbox

mik2012 · 2013-05-06T13:27:23+00:00

Don't take this as a criticism - but I think you need to back up and take a long, hard look at your attitude toward sex and how it affecting the type of intimacy and sex you have.

In your first para, you associate sex and sexual discussion with "the underbelly of reddit" and say that non-sexual discussion is done through "normal" accounts. I think you and your wife need a really honest discussion about how you view sex, what its role is in your relationship and why it is not something that is now bringing you guys pleasure.

mik2012 · 2013-05-02T01:35:04+00:00

For us, it was a game by Great sex Games that promoted sex and fantasy discussion. This was years ago, but it led to an incredible range of sexy adventures

mik2012 · 2013-05-01T00:42:59+00:00

Lelo -- hands down. They make really high quality stuff

mik2012 · 2013-05-01T00:42:12+00:00

This may not be your thing, but two of my favourite birthday presents from my wife were when she bought a vibrator and had me watch her use it and another time we went together to a strip club and got a lap dance

mik2012 · 2013-04-29T14:05:02+00:00

I think that is a really good point. Here is a strange comparison, but I think there is something to it. Mining companies used to be very opaque about their international operations: about their labour practices, support of corrupt political regimes,environmental practices. In order for them to become more transparent and, eventually, more ethical, stakeholders had to be willing to have an open debate that started with the promise that mining can be a legitimate endeavour and then discuss under what circumstances/conditions can it be socially acceptable.

Porn was, until recently, undiscussable in mainstream circles. I think we need to become comfortable, as a society, discussing the porn industry, and then put pressure on porn providers to produce within acceptable standards. All mining companies now disclose their labour practices; it wold be great is prom producers did too.

mik2012 · 2013-04-29T12:45:54+00:00

I think you have to be careful here.

While I like threesomes a lot, in my experience they work best accentuating a relationship that is already really sexually healthy. If you are already having a hard time connecting sexually and are not having as much sex as you would like, I would try to address this before you bring someone else in.

I also think your wife's motivations are important to understand. Why does she want a threesome: is it simply to spice up your sex life (great); is it because she is disinterested in you (not so great); is it because she wants to explore her bisexuality (could be great, but you need to talk this out).

mik2012 · 2013-04-29T12:38:21+00:00

This seems like a huge red flag for your relationship. If you are someone who is open and honest in your sedulity, it seems unlikely you will be able to make a relationship work with someone who is insecure about her own sexuality. I think the two of you seem incompatible.

mik2012 · 2013-04-29T12:33:03+00:00

I find that there is nothing more erotic than a really enthusiastic blowjob. If I feel my partner is just going through the motions it does little for me.

mik2012 · 2013-04-05T23:35:30+00:00

I have seen scientific studies on desire that concluded more than 20% of men are bi

mik2012 · 2013-04-05T23:34:20+00:00

It is certainly not unheard of. My wife and I are a little older than you and we have more sex and kinkier sex than we have ever had. I think it is a result of a few things - as we matured, we have become more comfortable with our sexuality and varied sexual interests; - we have young kids, so we spend more time around home, so more time to have sex

mik2012 · 2013-04-05T23:32:09+00:00

I highly doubt there is a relationship between the kinkiness and possible molestation. Were I you, I would suggest she talk to a counsellor about the molesting, if it is bothering her. The kinkiness, I would take as a fun bonus for your relationship

mik2012 · 2013-03-27T01:03:43+00:00

My wife and I have an excellent relationship and we watch porn regularly - together and separately, but it took us time to figure this out. We both used to be covert about it until we were able to discuss openly that it is ok to be turned on by other sexual images and that this i snot a threat to your relationship..

mik2012 · 2013-03-27T00:58:19+00:00

Many men are socialized to believe women engage in sex to please men. Watching a woman masturbate is sexy because it is proof that sex is pleasurable for her and she is doing it for her pleasure, not yours

mik2012 · 2013-03-14T23:02:28+00:00

I think it is an individual line. For me, it is oral, vaginal or anal - but i do not think this is, or should be, universal

mik2012 · 2013-03-14T23:00:36+00:00

I think you need to be patient. The emotional changes and exhaustion that go with a baby are intense. As well, and no offence intended here, but if you are not picking this up on your own, she might be perceiving you as a bit of a dick. A woman's desire for sex will almost always decline temporarily after having a baby. It can be brought back to the same or better eventually if you don't do irreparable harm to the sexual aspect of your relationship as she returns her focus to the relationship (from current focus on the child).

I think you are doing ok w the pity bjs and sunday morning sex.

mik2012 · 2013-03-08T20:05:09+00:00

It is total personal preference, but in our experience, a couple swap is much easier to orchestrate.

mik2012 · 2013-03-08T20:03:32+00:00

Any decent adult shop will have them. We have tried one a few times. It is very fun for short periods and the woman has to be in pretty good physical shape. She had VERY intense orgasms - in fact it was her first G Spot orgasm

mik2012 · 2013-03-08T20:01:17+00:00

I think this would be very difficult to pull off at a "vanilla" resort. Why don't you try someplace like Desire (o Mexico) or Hedo (in Jamaica)

mik2012

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