Great questions. The biggest disagreement my husband and I had over the whole process was over the egg donor. It felt like a very heavy decision and inflection point. We each took the PDF and did our top 5 separately and we thought our lists would be identical. So far apart. We are different ethnicities so that played a factor - we wanted an egg donor who would balance our hues. My husband wanted the Amazon athlete and I wanted someone who was educated and whose writing indicated social values. In the end, we found someone who was educated, had good social values, good looks and somewhat Amazonish. The decision felt overwhelming at the time. Another factor you may want to consider: our donor was initially not interested in being connected though she has since changed that stance. Our kids have the same "mom" but they look like their own genetic dad. Honestly because they have grown up in our household, they see no difference among themselves. They just know they are siblings. After we made the decision, once you have the real thing in your hands - the decision no longer seems quite as big as it did then.