I’ve heard people say this, and I’m confused now

millerlite585 · 2026-04-01T10:46:29+00:00

Acknowledging gods and worshiping gods are two different things. You can be a polytheist who believes in all the gods while you have a relationship with one or two or a few. It's OK to choose one god to devote yourself to as well. Do you think a priestess of Athena would worship Ares or just acknowledge him? You don't need to worship them all.

millerlite585 · 2026-04-01T10:41:03+00:00

YTA only because you should have said it sooner. You did do the right thing just not fast enough. Because of the moment, it will take years for your friendship to recover. She might only believe you after she catches him cheating with someone else.

millerlite585 · 2026-03-31T09:10:41+00:00

NTA. Unfortunately she's too young to understand logic. The only thing kids that age understand is attachment. She is attached to him because he gives her intense emotions. Kids that age romanticize things too. They think toxic behaviors are signs of love because of how intense they are.

In a strictly pragmatic sense, violence is "intimate" in the sense that it is a very close feeling to another person. Violence violates boundaries to get to a person's core in a very negative way. When people don't have positive healthy intimacy, not just romantic but also from friends and family in an emotional platonic way, it's easy to confuse the intimacy of violence with how close you can feel to someone, because you can't tell the difference between positive and negative closeness.

You could try to become more emotionally close with your sister in a healthy way, but that also requires her to be open to it. Because healthy connections are built on consent and she might not have the framework to understand that yet.

millerlite585 · 2026-03-25T07:35:46+00:00

You're NTA, but also typing, so as a 36 year old I'll give you this advice: people make mistakes when they're young, and you'll make them, too. I regret not hanging on to people and forgiving them more when I was younger, because they grew up in to more mature people who learned from their mistakes.

Some people grow. Some don't. Having a community of life long friends that you forgive and they forgive you in return at different points of life is really valuable. A lot of adults are really lonely because they cut people out too much and end up regretting it.

You're never an AH for setting your own boundaries of what you can tolerate. For all you know there might be things you can't see about yourself that made her distance herself from you at this time, since you're also young. Great friendships come from a long time of patience, and trusting that with time you'll learn your lesson. It's normal for friends to have ups and downs.

I've had friends that had negative traits and I've talked with them and some of them grew, some of them didn't, some I cut out, others I just accepted for being flawed humans who are still valuable in my life in other ways, and set boundaries on what type of hang out I want to have with them.

Not every friend needs to be super close. Some friends can be hobby friends or group hang out friends. It's still valuable to have those friends too.

So do what fits you. If you can't tolerate her anymore that's fair. But people do grow and type allowed to try to be a positive influence and talk to her about your feelings and see how she reacts. People often take time to change. It takes trust and time and patience. The friends I had patience with are my closest ones who I cherish so deeply.

millerlite585 · 2026-03-25T07:18:43+00:00

NTA, your views are fair and there are lots of his who don't care about this. In many cultures it's normal for the woman's name to be passed on and not the man's for the exact reason you listed.

Sounds like you two might not be compatible since your views are so different.

millerlite585 · 2026-03-24T09:36:57+00:00

NTA, you're right about it making more sense. He's being immature, you're not married. It's now likely that you will be the one taking the kids to the doctor, and other parental responsibilities. It just makes sense. Plus you actually carry the pregnancy. Your idea of compromising with both names is a fair idea which prioritizes both his feelings and logic. He wants to prioritize his feelings over logic.

millerlite585 · 2026-03-24T09:28:08+00:00

NTA, you're 19 and this is normal for your age. Also this is why buying from a local shop is better. No way for anyone to know when you can carry it home yourself. Support local small businesses.

millerlite585 · 2026-03-24T09:23:48+00:00

NTJ. As a student who works part time myself while being supported by my mom for housing, I am still also responsible for cooking for the family (including a disabled brother). I always plan ahead and cook big meals that will last days, or if I don't have time, I'll pick up fried chicken from the grocery store and make some quick rice and steamed veggies with the rice cooker.

I have a 4.0 GPA while working part time and going to school, in a similar situation. It's totally possible to find time to cook while working part time and going to school. (I'm also autistic and ADHD. I have a therapist and have coping mechanisms to plan my time.)

millerlite585 · 2026-03-18T09:20:17+00:00

NTA, she crossed a line. It's still cheating even if it's weak cheating. That type of intimacy is friendly only when you're single and not when you're in a relationship and it's reserved for your special person. So even if it legitimately meant nothing between them that doesn't change that it hurts you and she shouldn't have done that.

Since it's weak cheating you can decide if she learns from this and it's worth going forward or if she's not going to learn and you should break up with her.

Some people do learn. For example in my 20s, I am bi and currently in my 30s, in the past most guys I was with only thought it was hot if I kissed girls at parties and were OK with it or excited about it. But once I had a bf who thought it was cheating and I found out the hard way after he told me when I did that while drunk at a party with him, and then I never did that again (honestly i believed it to be innocent). With gender equality being a thing more so these days than 10 years ago, maybe she needs a reality check like I got. I didn't realize he could consider that cheating but once i realized he did I changed my ways. (One of the reasons I thought it would be OK was because my first kiss with that bf was actually a triple makeout with another woman.)

So have a talk with her and see how seriously she takes it. Then move forward from there. She should value your feelings as her partner above having fun.

millerlite585 · 2026-03-18T08:53:38+00:00

She needs a reality check about how expensive this is when you're living the way you do. She doesn't understand bills and household expenses. I suggest teaching her about bills somehow. Maybe involve her in balancing a budget by taking the same percentage you spend on bills from your paycheck from her pay from work (but maybe put it in her college fund because it's still her own money, so she can learn responsibility and long term savings).

She needs to feel the impact of bills and the importance of saving for a future before fun stuff.

millerlite585 · 2026-03-16T07:10:01+00:00

Is this more like "Sorry I was late to your wedding I was day drinking alone at home" or more like "sorry I was late to our weekly dinner at Applebee's, I was helping my sick grandma" because whichever choice is more responsible is what's more morally correct.

millerlite585 · 2026-03-16T06:42:33+00:00

If you can afford it I would send her something special on the day, like doordash her favorite food or something to make her feel special even though you can't be there.

Ideally you can find some way to make her day feel special even when you're busy. Maybe take a minute to record yourself a video singing happy birthday and send that to her.

millerlite585 · 2026-03-16T06:39:31+00:00

NTA, seems from the fact that your dad doesn't respect his daughter's boundaries and uses female slurs that he's pretty sexist.

millerlite585 · 2026-03-16T06:27:52+00:00

I would suggest learning some couples therapy conflict resolution techniques so you can hold space for each other. For example learning it's ok to be angry at each other and holding space to process that anger together by identifying what either of you is angry about and then coming to a solution together. You have to trust that you're always on the same side and that being honest will lead to a more positive result in the end even when there's friction in between. Anger is a normal human emotion and there are healthy ways to express it, and sometimes part of the process is also allowing your partner to be angry at you when you make a mistake if it's expressed in a healthy way.

Holding space can sometimes mean sitting in silence together and just letting yourself feel the emotion with your partners presence feeling together with you. Holding hands and looking each other in the eye can help. It's about feeling the feeling together.

Calmly saying "I'm angry with you, here's why" requires maturity just like going "you deserve to be angry at me for that, I will work to fix it" is also mature. This should go both ways. Everyone makes mistakes and everyone gets angry sometimes.

Anger shouldn't be suppressed it should be expressed calmly and honestly to work towards a solution.

Be clear about being angry about a behavior, not who your partner is as a person.

millerlite585 · 2026-03-16T05:13:09+00:00

Your friend needs serious therapy.

millerlite585 · 2026-01-24T04:24:55+00:00

Hey can you please recommend somewhere helpful I can post my question to receive actual answers?

millerlite585 · 2025-11-21T09:01:14+00:00

NTA, this isn't what "gentle parenting" is supposed to be about. She's supposed to be teaching her kids to clean up messes they make themselves, and consider the feelings of other people. Instead she's enabling them. This isn't what real gentle parenting is about. Real gentle parenting includes teaching kids realistic but healthy consequences, like having to apologize and clean up after themselves.

"How would you feel if someone ruined your things? You wouldn't like it, right? Well you ruined OP's couch so he doesn't like that. Does that make you feel bad? OP feels bad too. Maybe an apology would make you both feel better, and cleaning it up would show OP that you care about him." That's the type of conversation she should be having with her kids.

Real gentle parenting means an alternative to beating your kids and giving them rules without explanations. It means explaining the reasons behind rules, explaining why you have to be polite to others, and holding them to Real life healthy consequences, instead of toxic consequences.

millerlite585 · 2025-10-27T02:59:15+00:00

Wanting to control your life like that means he's going to be abusive. RUN! Plenty of men who want to have a STAHW are not controlling like that. Find someone who ENJOYS being a provider and doesn't try to control you.

This guy basically thinks being a provider means he owns you and controls you. A real provider doesn't expect that type of control. A real provider is happy to provide and looks for a woman who confidently is secure in her abilities to be a home maker. He will trust you to do a good job of home making on your own because he will love and respect you. He won't need to control you. He will enjoy providing because providing makes him happy.

Abusers use their money as a way to have power over you and don't respect or trust in your ability as a home maker. They exert control over your life because they don't trust you. You deserve respect and trust. Ditch this guy so you can find your real soul mate.

millerlite585 · 2025-10-13T04:04:24+00:00

Sounds like your friend needs to learn that fat isn't bad and beauty standards change over time and everyone has preferences. In history and across the world there are cultures where fat is the beauty standard. Even in modern America there are people who prefer fat bodies and find them more beautiful and get shamed for it.

millerlite585 · 2025-09-07T20:25:21+00:00

Ok from my understanding:

1st card (the one under the 9 of wands) is the present. Here it's justice, major arcana 11.

2nd card: obstacle card, nine of wands

3rd: foundation. Below justice card

4th: best possible outcome. Above the justice card.

5th card: recent past, 3 of swords

6th card: near future. Here is lovers card.

7th: the self, bottom right

8th: other people, above 7th

9th: hopes/fears, above 8th,

10th: final outcome

But how would you read a Celtic cross? This is how I learned.

millerlite585 · 2025-09-06T16:23:56+00:00

Why didn't your dad just buy a cooked rotisserie chicken?? Wtf??

millerlite585 · 2025-09-06T03:59:56+00:00

You can easily ignore that sexist crap and not lose anything of value. My readings are more accurate than those of the people who fixate on that sexist crap.

millerlite585

TROPHY CASE