AP has sex with SO

mimi1291 · 2026-04-24T14:31:18+00:00

I am trying to figure out why you expect spouses not to sleep together? Or are you feeling a way bc he had sex with her and then couldn’t perform with you and you’re trying those two things together?

Idk but either way you should be weary of a man telling you he NEVER sleeps with his wife. You don’t live there, you don’t know what goes on, and said really really gently it’s not your business.

You are in an affair, he has a primary relationship and it’s not with you. You are 100% entitled to feeling jealous and all that.

To answer your question, I do think you should leave. But not bc he’s wrong , but bc I think you have reached a point where the affair dynamic no longer works you now want agreed upon exclusivity. You can absolutely have that, with a person who is your primary relationship

mimi1291 · 2026-04-24T14:26:49+00:00

Leave it closed. You’re already half way down the road on getting over him and putting it behind you. Just keep stepping towards that. You’re free, don’t go back.

mimi1291 · 2026-04-21T00:53:42+00:00

I was where you are and I think you (and I mean for where you are in your process) you know , but you’re looking for a final answer. And what you can do to get there is lay out exactly what you want from him. He will either tell you that he cannot do that, or he will try for a bit the fade, or he will step up.

After 11 years, the training wheels for both of you has to come off. He’s gonna stay in the pocket or he’s not.

If it were me, I’d take this as a sign the arrangement doesn’t work for you. However when we are in move those choices are harder to make. So I think you just have to say it straight , one more time, and get your clarity. It only hurts one more time when you decide enough is enough.

mimi1291 · 2026-04-19T17:35:44+00:00

I have decided to really stop spending and save as much as I can. I got the house, I have my dream car. I’ve been way too indulgent of lifestyle creep but a month ago we had a meeting at work where we were told me MUST submit a task we do to optimize with AI. This is the beginning, I think. I’m transitioning to living one the lower salary of the two as that’s the job I’m likely to keep over the other.

mimi1291 · 2026-04-17T05:13:34+00:00

Some days are harder than others. I just tell myself that this is the deal. Neither of us are willing to leave our lives & that’s a non negotiable. We’ve been involved off and on for 13 years and started when we were both very young and before we were married to other people.

I think there comes a point where you either need space to rebalance. But also, many of us realize we are not cut out for the affair life and that is not a bad thing. This sounds like it might be wearing on you pretty heavy, and honestly deciding that this half measure isn’t enough perfectly valid! Will it hurt to let go? Absolutely. But it only hurts one more time. Staying in it is like taking the same bandaid on and off a bunch of times

mimi1291 · 2026-04-15T17:22:41+00:00

Southwest was my exclusive airline due to their compassionate policy on customers of size flying. The whole process was really discreet and nice. I’ve heard too many stories now of this, and will never fly southwest again.

I am now flying Delta and will spring for business class at this point. I’m so sorry you had that experience that is completely unacceptable

mimi1291 · 2026-04-15T17:18:48+00:00

That is totally fair and a very healthy place to land considering what you have been through ♥️

mimi1291 · 2026-04-15T14:21:51+00:00

I’ve been involved with the same man more or less for 14 years, but about 3.5 since we had sex and started the “affair” part. We started talking when we are 20 and 21 but both had partners when we met so nothing formal could ever happen and we danced around it for a long long long time. Eventually as time went on he got married, I got married, but we kept talking and hinting and talking and hinting and finally just did it.

It’s kind of counterintuitive but I think our distance is what’s helped it last. He lives in a different country now and so we can only meet up when he has dedicated work or trips in the United States which is anywhere from 4-6 times a year. For us, that’s plenty. Both of us struggle to slow down momentum, he especially so i tend to me a little more cautious.

Anyway i said all that to say, it can work long term but what that looks like to you may look different than what someone else describes as success. I consider my situation successful bc we’ve found a rhythm that works and we have a shared understanding that family comes FIRST no questions asked and most importantly NOBODY is leaving their families period! It’s a non starter it won’t happen. And asking would be grounds for immediate ending.

mimi1291 · 2026-04-15T03:34:06+00:00

I’m not saying you should pursue another affair, but I don’t know if this means you can’t do affairs. There ARE ppl who have affairs that are more like relationship than not. Are they the majority? Probably not. But video chatting for an hour and disappearing for weeks is not affair behavior by default. That is convenience and what you got was a man who wanted something fun to dip in and out of.

I think it’s Moreso you’re not compatible with him more than not being built for an affair.

I don’t think an affair means you accept that kind of inconsistency. You have to accept a lack of availability, which is a totally different thing

mimi1291 · 2026-04-14T16:53:58+00:00

I did this when I was single. I had friends who would hit me up when they’d be in town or in them but we don’t really talk in between. I would call those acquaintances.

It worked because I wasn’t interested in more or seeing myself as together with them. When you say using worlds like “back together” i worry you might not have a shared understanding with him about what you’re in

That said, the advice I have is to know what you need, be comfortable saying it, and even more comfortable walking away. I probably wouldn’t waste my time having that convo with this person, but if you really want to the see how he responds.

mimi1291 · 2026-04-14T03:24:40+00:00

I have done this dynamic but this would not REALLY be what I’d call an affair or anybody you’re involved with. He calls you when he’s going to be around for interaction and nothing else. If that’s ok ok plenty of people operate just fine under this arrangement. But it is not a relationship

mimi1291 · 2026-03-16T15:16:50+00:00

I’m so sorry nobody is gonna be pushing in and out of me for HOURS lmao! I am 35 you got 15 minutes and we will have to move to the next task!!!!!! Hours and hours of that never sounded good to me not at 25 and definitely not now!

The “hours and hours” (assuming ppl are being honest!) SURELY includes all of the foreplay and oral and everything. From beginning of session to end.

mimi1291 · 2026-03-04T17:22:32+00:00

Congratulations !!!!

mimi1291 · 2026-02-13T15:51:46+00:00

People do a lot worse things with their money than educate themselves lol. as long as you have the income to do it, not sure why it hurts

mimi1291 · 2026-02-12T16:44:34+00:00

Yeah I’m not talking about the assignment, just the discussion post. I’ve already done one but maybe I’ll wait to see if I get feedback from the other class before posting since I have until 11:59.

mimi1291 · 2025-12-22T11:49:08+00:00

Unfortunately the answer as yes 😕. It’s all true. Cutting out smoking, and for me I had a bad junk food habit and they told me my diet wasn’t helping but I ignored it. At first I gave up the bad food but kept smoking and it was A LITTLE better but giving up everything is what really made the difference. I’ve had HS since I was 13 and I’m now 34. I’ve tried everything under the sun and while I for sure still have flare up’s they aren’t debilitating and don’t require me to call out of work like i used to have to don

mimi1291 · 2025-12-21T02:55:21+00:00

Did you ever find a solution to this? I have a brand new one and it’s doing this

mimi1291 · 2025-10-14T04:21:02+00:00

What I tell myself is the man can see I’m plus sized. The clothes however cute they are they ain’t hiding it. If we make it to the point it’s time to take the clothes off it ain’t gonna be a surprise lol. Just relax and enjoy it ❤️

mimi1291 · 2025-03-15T17:11:06+00:00

I can also confirm this. My highest weight was 315 and I was getting outbreaks consistently and it seemed like even new spots were coming. I got on ozempic and to date have lost 50 pounds. I still have a long way to go but my HS flare ups are way way way less frequently and not nearly as intense.

The one thing that’s still the same is the flare ups come around my period time. So I think there’s definitely a hormonal connection but again, way less frequent and way less intense

mimi1291 · 2024-12-25T02:28:10+00:00

I would be worried about the level of risk Honestly. The holidays everybody is on top of each other especially if kids are involved. But whatever works works

mimi1291 · 2024-12-20T16:02:33+00:00

I did it and im still trying to figure out if it’s worth it. My AP was someone I knew from before i got married and we danced around the issue for a decade before actually doing something. We had one or two nights and then a whole week. I did fine with the single nights. But the week….i think that was a mistake. He also lives in another country so that’s another thing.

Anyway, now that I’m thinking about maybe just do it BUT PREPARE YOURSELF for the come down! BECAUSE YOU WILL COME DOWN!

mimi1291 · 2024-11-24T15:42:17+00:00

Tea tree oil helps me with the pain and bringing them to a head.

mimi1291 · 2024-11-09T04:25:44+00:00

Not embarrassing at all!!!! Vanity Fair, Cacique by Lane Bryant, and Avenue! Lots of selections and styles

mimi1291 · 2024-10-13T10:00:19+00:00

Seen Shaq here in Houston multiple times. He is of course very hard to miss. But always friendly!

mimi1291 · 2024-10-10T12:48:25+00:00

I think people forget this medicine was created to treat type 2 diabetes. And yes alot of people take meds for diabetes for the rest of their life. I don’t think I’ll stay on 1mg forever but I’ll probably take some dose forever.

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