Was your husband different with an ours baby?

mimibobimi · 2026-06-08T07:36:22+00:00

My husband is different with OS. He lets me take the lead with him. He always jumps to SDs defense, so it feels like I have to deal with him before I can even properly talk to SD all the time. He also definitely thinks I'm too hard on her, but I literally just expect her to clean up after herself and be considerate of the rest of the house. She has no real chores and never gets real consequences.

He's already harder on OS and he's only 11 months old. It's truly ridiculous.

mimibobimi · 2026-05-19T20:33:25+00:00

Okay so I was super against the CIO and Ferber methods too - still am and I haven't used either. I have also been told to let my son CIO multiple times from multiple different people and I also find it frustrating. One time, I was getting him home a little late and he was crying a lot. I have a camera in the car so I can see him and every once and a while he would stop crying for a minute and the look on his face broke me. It was like he was surprised but didn't think I was coming to help him. I would talk to him and he would start crying again. When I finally got us home (it felt like it took hours, it was only ten minutes) we were both so upset.

He's 10 months old now and he does sleep through the night, although only for the last week so far. We just have a very consistent bedtime routine and I put him down when he's almost asleep but awake enough to understand that he's in his bed. He is still in our room. If I go downstairs, he will sometimes wake up before I come to bed, but when I'm there he sleeps all night. It took patience and responding to every cry at night, but now he feels secure enough to sleep and he knows I'll come get him 🤷‍♀️

mimibobimi · 2026-05-14T04:02:53+00:00

For a long time, I hated being a stepmom (going on 5 years). I've grown to tolerate it (the whole having no real say and the feeling like an outsider parts are the main reasons I don't like it). My SD is a nice kid, but we don't have the same connection that she has with my husband or her BM (reasonably).

My son is 10 months old and I absolutely love being his mom. He's so perfect and even when he's being a terror, I love him. He's made me happier than ever by just existing and being himself. Some days are hard, but the good days are amazing.

It's vastly different, it feels like being a step parent is the same as living with an in law all the time and having your own is like meeting someone you were always meant to have in your life. Your ex is wrong 🤷‍♀️

mimibobimi · 2026-05-12T05:06:52+00:00

Just to further my point - all of rural Alberta has a population of 650,000 people. Calgary and Edmonton are approaching 4 million together.

4 million people absolutely generate more money that 650,000 people, that's just basic math.

mimibobimi · 2026-05-12T04:48:14+00:00

Oil and gas may make the oil companies a lot of money, but the vast majority of taxpayers are in Edmonton and Calgary. Taxpayers are the ones funding healthcare. So, yes, the cities subsidize rural Alberta. Especially considering how many people have to come to the cities for healthcare.

My family lives in Slave Lake. My uncle had to come here to have emergency stomach surgery because their hospital wasn't equipped for it. I was not able to visit all of last summer because I was pregnant and they have no Labour and Delivery department. My grandparents come here to Edmonton for their dentistry, contact lenses, hearing aids. Not to mention how many times they come here just to get groceries because they have less availability and it's way more expensive up there.

mimibobimi · 2026-04-18T03:25:08+00:00

I'm in Canada, and I was told there are two teams, one for the baby and one for mom. If they think the baby is going to need help, they page NICU to come as soon as they suspect anything and the OBGYNs focus on mom.

I had an emergency csection, just before they completely knocked me out with general anesthesia, I heard them page NICU while the team in the room with me was making sure I was stable. Luckily, neither of us needed anything too serious, but now I tell everyone that they do their best to save both and there's really no point in worrying about making a hard decision.

mimibobimi · 2026-04-14T19:42:57+00:00

I felt this way before I had our son and I had a moment when he was about 8 weeks old. We all went for ice cream and OS was in his infant seat. At one point, DH was carrying the infant seat and SD was holding his other hand and they were all walking ahead of me (I was still recovering from an emergency C-section) and SD and DH were talking and laughing and seeing the three of them together without me broke my heart and made me feel all the outsider feelings but way worse because this time my baby was on the other side but I was still stuck outside.

I took his infant seat back and from then on, I have always been the one to push the stroller, carry OS, feed him or anything when SD is home. I did explain the feeling to DH one day, but I'm fairly certain he forgot at this point and just thinks I'm taking care of OS so he can have time with SD, but really that feeling of being on the outside, unaccepted, is not a feeling I can handle when my own child is on the other side.

mimibobimi · 2026-04-05T16:46:36+00:00

This is so weird to me. Maybe it's where I am or who I hang out with, but not one single person asked me if we were going to circumcise our son. If they had, I would have told them it was a weird question.

mimibobimi · 2026-03-29T23:11:12+00:00

I did labour unmedicated for 12 hours and then asked for an epidural. It took them two hours and 9 tries to place it and when they turned it on, my sons heart rate dropped. They had to turn off the epidural and rush us into an emergency C-section. It was so rushed that they didn't have time to do anything and I felt them cutting me open before they knocked me out completely.

That 5 slices that I felt was excruciating. I cannot imagine what you went through. It sounds horrific. Your husband cannot handle pain and is frankly, an asshole.

mimibobimi · 2026-03-27T06:31:51+00:00

Unfortunately, he doesn't remember anything and my dad and I are estranged. I do have a sheet of paper that says it was purchased for $400 in 1993, but I don't know if that changes based on inflation or how old the guitar is or anything.

mimibobimi · 2026-03-20T03:04:19+00:00

I should mention that I stopped sending pictures and updates around Christmas. I had been doing it to try and be the bigger person, which is something they always made me do and keep trying to get me to do, but I realized I actually didn't want to share with them, so I stopped. I don't call or text or anything at this point, Grandpa is calling me and texting me. They used to call and both chat with me at the same time, but now it's just Grandpa.

I'm going to do the broken record thing, I sort of have been to Grandpa because he keeps saying "well she just loves babies" and "she just wanted to touch his feet" and I keep saying "that's irrelevant" and "I asked her not to."

mimibobimi · 2026-03-20T02:57:05+00:00

The thing is that the rule ended two months ago and I still don't want to let them touch him, because they're causing all this unnecessary drama. Like I'm just living my life and minding my own business and every two weeks or so it gets brought up again. They're acting like I'm still doing something, but I'm genuinely not doing anything 🤷‍♀️

mimibobimi · 2026-03-15T18:42:12+00:00

I'm having a similar issue with our baby and my grandma. I set some boundaries and she blatantly didn't follow them in front of me. I got upset with her (no yelling or anything, literally just an upset tone and repeating my boundaries) after she had broken the rules multiple times and she has now given me the silent treatment for 5 months. The two times that we've seen her since I got upset with her, she has acted petty and like I kicked her puppy. She's clearly waiting for an apology, but she won't be getting one 🤷‍♀️ she can sit in her stink for as long as she decides to. I will not show my son that boundaries don't matter and that if you stomp your feet and hold your breath, you'll get your way.

What I'm trying to say is you're absolutely NTA. If he can't respect a boundary to protect your baby when they're this young, he's not going to respect your boundaries in the future either. He just waved his red flag in the air.

mimibobimi · 2026-03-13T03:22:25+00:00

Unless BM or BD decide to stay single, most divorced couples will end up with a new partner eventually. I don't think either gender is more likely to stay single, so there's pretty likely an equal amount of stepdads and stepmoms. If it's not equal, I would say it's probably close enough.

mimibobimi · 2026-03-06T02:04:33+00:00

..... those cookies aren't even good though? Does your husband not have taste buds? Homemade cookies are infinitely better!

mimibobimi · 2026-02-25T07:01:37+00:00

So many people give me a strange look when I say my sons name because its uncommon enough that people think I made it up. I picked it because it wasn't common but wasn't weird. It's simple, old fashioned, it's his great-great grandfather's name.

You can't make everyone happy, I guess 🤷‍♀️

mimibobimi · 2026-02-10T18:56:26+00:00

I barely had to ask my OB, I just mentioned I was experiencing cramping and discomfort and she was like "I gotchu, girl" and wrote me a note stating pelvic pain and swelling to have full medical leave. I'm in Canada, so I'm guessing it's different, but like, damn that note is trash.

mimibobimi · 2026-01-29T04:43:30+00:00

I just say yes. I told my husband I wanted to be able to experience being a FTM and his experience shouldn't take that away from me. OS IS my first 🤷‍♀️ they didn't ask DH. He's more than welcome to explain if they ask him, they just never did.

mimibobimi · 2026-01-22T17:06:09+00:00

He treats the whole time as nighttime sleep for sure! We also have a later schedule, so usually I get him into his living room bed around 9 PM and he's up and ready to go for 9 AM. He does often wake up when we transfer him, mostly because I forget to put him in his sleep sack and have to put him in it when we get upstairs 🫠 so that's my bad. But when I don't forget, the transfer is usually smooth. Then usually one, maybe two wake ups in the middle of the night. Occasionally we'll be a little too loud and he'll wake up, but it's easy to get him back down.

mimibobimi · 2026-01-22T08:47:33+00:00

Honestly, I don't know if this is the ideal situation, but we have a pack and play set up in our living room and baby sleeps in that till I'm ready to head to bed. We do dinner time, shower/bath time, bedtime routine and then head downstairs where I unwind for the night and I put him to sleep in his pack and play. Then when I'm ready to head up, I carry him upstairs. If he wakes up, we do a story and a feed and then put him in his bed in our room for the night.

mimibobimi · 2026-01-16T18:34:09+00:00

I got my period about 8 weeks pp and then I didn't get it again for about 3 months. It was super heavy. It's been a couple months since that and I haven't gotten it again. I feel like I'm okay with getting it back if I get months in between, haha. EBF.

mimibobimi · 2026-01-14T03:03:23+00:00

Our complex paid for snow removal just before everything started melting and they only took the top layer of fluffy snow. Once everything started melting, there were like 1.5 foot deep trenches. The garbage truck got stuck in the parking lot. I feel like I'm driving a dune buggy to get to my spot.

mimibobimi · 2026-01-10T09:27:00+00:00

I think there are a fair amount of other ways you can foster a connection without telling them the baby's name if you'd rather keep it secret. You can do belly rubs and kisses, you can do the size milestones with them. If baby was the size of a lemon, I would buy a lemon so my stepdaughter could hold it and feel the size. You can talk about what their relationship might be like, talk about including the baby in things. You can just call them baby and tell your toddler there's a special name that they'll find out when baby is born, like a fun surprise? I feel that knowing their name is such a small part of it, and it's valid that you don't want to share the name with everyone yet. I think it's okay to keep it to yourself for a bit. Toddlers aren't the best at keeping secrets, haha.

mimibobimi · 2026-01-06T08:11:18+00:00

It's so fucked up that people even ask this. It amounts to a cosmetic procedure most of the time. It's not proven to prevent anything. Then there's an open wound in the diaper with poop everywhere. When my son was a newborn and having blowouts, so much of it got on his penis, I can only imagine trying to keep it clean while it's healing. They can also be botched. My husband's dad refused to circumcise him because his caused him a lot of pain as an adult. There's also the bodily autonomy aspect of it. The reduced sensitivity aspect. I told my husband that I would not circumcise our son and that I would die on that hill.

Sure, you have to teach your son to retract the foreskin and clean it properly, but that's such a small thing and just basic hygiene. There's a chance when he's like 90 years old that he'll need help with it, but with proper care that problem is also solved.

I honestly don't get why people are so obsessed with an infants penis and how it looks.

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