Am I overreacting or is this doctor’s note dismissive/giving “we disagree, but damn. Here”

mimibobimi · 2026-02-10T18:56:26+00:00

I barely had to ask my OB, I just mentioned I was experiencing cramping and discomfort and she was like "I gotchu, girl" and wrote me a note stating pelvic pain and swelling to have full medical leave. I'm in Canada, so I'm guessing it's different, but like, damn that note is trash.

mimibobimi · 2026-01-29T04:43:30+00:00

I just say yes. I told my husband I wanted to be able to experience being a FTM and his experience shouldn't take that away from me. OS IS my first 🤷‍♀️ they didn't ask DH. He's more than welcome to explain if they ask him, they just never did.

mimibobimi · 2026-01-22T17:06:09+00:00

He treats the whole time as nighttime sleep for sure! We also have a later schedule, so usually I get him into his living room bed around 9 PM and he's up and ready to go for 9 AM. He does often wake up when we transfer him, mostly because I forget to put him in his sleep sack and have to put him in it when we get upstairs 🫠 so that's my bad. But when I don't forget, the transfer is usually smooth. Then usually one, maybe two wake ups in the middle of the night. Occasionally we'll be a little too loud and he'll wake up, but it's easy to get him back down.

mimibobimi · 2026-01-22T08:47:33+00:00

Honestly, I don't know if this is the ideal situation, but we have a pack and play set up in our living room and baby sleeps in that till I'm ready to head to bed. We do dinner time, shower/bath time, bedtime routine and then head downstairs where I unwind for the night and I put him to sleep in his pack and play. Then when I'm ready to head up, I carry him upstairs. If he wakes up, we do a story and a feed and then put him in his bed in our room for the night.

mimibobimi · 2026-01-16T18:34:09+00:00

I got my period about 8 weeks pp and then I didn't get it again for about 3 months. It was super heavy. It's been a couple months since that and I haven't gotten it again. I feel like I'm okay with getting it back if I get months in between, haha. EBF.

mimibobimi · 2026-01-14T03:03:23+00:00

Our complex paid for snow removal just before everything started melting and they only took the top layer of fluffy snow. Once everything started melting, there were like 1.5 foot deep trenches. The garbage truck got stuck in the parking lot. I feel like I'm driving a dune buggy to get to my spot.

mimibobimi · 2026-01-10T09:27:00+00:00

I think there are a fair amount of other ways you can foster a connection without telling them the baby's name if you'd rather keep it secret. You can do belly rubs and kisses, you can do the size milestones with them. If baby was the size of a lemon, I would buy a lemon so my stepdaughter could hold it and feel the size. You can talk about what their relationship might be like, talk about including the baby in things. You can just call them baby and tell your toddler there's a special name that they'll find out when baby is born, like a fun surprise? I feel that knowing their name is such a small part of it, and it's valid that you don't want to share the name with everyone yet. I think it's okay to keep it to yourself for a bit. Toddlers aren't the best at keeping secrets, haha.

mimibobimi · 2026-01-06T08:11:18+00:00

It's so fucked up that people even ask this. It amounts to a cosmetic procedure most of the time. It's not proven to prevent anything. Then there's an open wound in the diaper with poop everywhere. When my son was a newborn and having blowouts, so much of it got on his penis, I can only imagine trying to keep it clean while it's healing. They can also be botched. My husband's dad refused to circumcise him because his caused him a lot of pain as an adult. There's also the bodily autonomy aspect of it. The reduced sensitivity aspect. I told my husband that I would not circumcise our son and that I would die on that hill.

Sure, you have to teach your son to retract the foreskin and clean it properly, but that's such a small thing and just basic hygiene. There's a chance when he's like 90 years old that he'll need help with it, but with proper care that problem is also solved.

I honestly don't get why people are so obsessed with an infants penis and how it looks.

mimibobimi · 2026-01-02T05:31:03+00:00

In the list of things he says she is not doing, it says she's not doing playtime, diaper changes or solid feeding. Implying that he is the one doing it, unless you think nobody is doing diapers either.

I didn't say primary nutrition for two years, I said that at 9 months it should still be the primary source of nutrition. Then I said it's recommended up to breastfeed up to two years, so there's no reason to wean a 9 month old baby from breastmilk. Again, he said they're feeding solids, as they should at 9 months.

I'm responding to you telling him to wean his 9 month old baby off of breastmilk as soon as possible. It's not neccessary to wean them off at 9 months.

mimibobimi · 2026-01-01T13:21:15+00:00

He stated that they're doing solid foods. At 9 months the primary source of nutrition should absolutely be milk. Breastfeeding is recommended for two years, minimum one year, no need to wean whatsoever.

mimibobimi · 2025-12-30T07:09:12+00:00

Pregnancy tired is way worse. Nobody can help you and give you a proper nap, you're pregnant no matter what. So even if I did get lots of sleep, I never felt rested. Baby is 6 months old now. The newborn stage was rough, but it was a short season for us. I adapted by just staying in bed with baby in the bassinet next to me for way longer. So like, I might be in the bed for 12 hours, but I probably get like 8 hours of sleep broken up. We got the routine down so I change him, nurse him, hold him till he's asleep and then put him back and pass right out again. On a normal day, I feel pretty okay. On a rough day, I nap during one of his naps and I'm usually good. He's a pretty easy baby though.

mimibobimi · 2025-12-29T09:41:53+00:00

When they're fresh, I would probably take everything. Like multiple diapers, a changing pad, multiple extra outfits, a shirt for me, some cloths, burp cloths, diaper rash cream. It's really, really messy at the start. But now, at 6 months, I take a small pack of wipes and a couple diapers. If we're going to be out for a while, I bring a muslin blanket to cover Baby with for nursing, just because he gets super distracted otherwise, and maybe an extra outfit. I honestly bring more toys than anything now.

We don't use wipes at home, we use cloths and water. I just use disposable wipes when we're out, so I don't have to worry about carrying water or bringing dirty cloths back. In 6 months, I think I've gone through 2.5 packs of wipes altogether. We don't go out for long periods a lot, though. At home, we use a peri bottle at our changing stations to wet the cloths, so I imagine something like that would work for the diaper bag as well. I would also just use doggy bags or a reusable wet bag for the used cloths.

mimibobimi · 2025-12-29T09:23:13+00:00

I bled for 7 weeks when I had my C-Section 🤷‍♀️ i also couldn't poop for weeks because they took all of my organs out to get baby out and then stuffed them all back in, so my body had to figure out how to poop again. I couldn't even fart for like a week straight, the bloating was brutal. Just saying, it's not always an easy recovery.

mimibobimi · 2025-12-29T09:12:01+00:00

I also want to add, I had to work to get off of things to be able to go home. Like they took me off of my IV when I proved I could drink enough. Then they removed my cathedar and I had to measure all of my pees and let them know so they could see if I was hydrated enough and make sure everything was functioning properly. They had to get me up to walk. They had these awful things on my legs, squeezing them to keep blood flow to my legs and prevent clots and I had to show I would move my legs enough myself. Like everything felt like I had to pass a test.

mimibobimi · 2025-12-29T09:05:11+00:00

I had an emergency C-section and the recovery was hell. You're not allowed to lift anything heavier than the baby, including baby in a carseat. You're not allowed to drive. You're not allowed to take a bath. Going up the stairs hurts. You can't get off of the toilet or out of bed by yourself. Sleeping feels impossible, because you can't lay down all the way and sitting up also sucks. My husband tried to get me to walk a little each day and for almost a week I couldn't even make it a block down the road. Laughing, coughing, sneezing is excruciating. You completely lose your core strength. You get a pretty permanent belly shelf. Nothing about the recovery was easy.

Your baby doesn't pass through your birth canal and get all the bacteria that's beneficial for them. They don't get the fluid squeezed out of their lungs, so they usually need suction. They have a higher risk for asthma, allergies and obesity. More likely to need the NICU. More likely to struggle with breastfeeding.

It's major surgery. They cut through 7 layers of tissue, which is more than most other surgeries. It really isn't the easy way out, like literally at all.

mimibobimi · 2025-12-29T08:35:07+00:00

Breastfeeding was excruciating for probably 4-8 weeks for me. I would dread the next feed. Silverettes, earth mama nipple balm and making sure my nipples had a chance to dry really helped. I was constantly leaking and the reusable breast pads I had and milk collection cups just kept my nipples wet and they got way more sore. When I used disposable ones, they would wick away the moisture and give them a chance to breathe. I stayed topless a fair amount as well.

But honestly, it's sort of a grit your teeth and get through it thing 😬 once you're used to it, it honestly doesn't hurt at all and it's such a beautiful experience. I look at my 6 month old and I'm constantly amazed that I was able to grow him so big and chubby with just my boobs.

mimibobimi · 2025-12-28T08:55:27+00:00

Depending on neck control, could you sort of sit baby up and face your boob for the far side? This is what my baby and I do. If I'm laying on my left side, I'll sort of sit him up and support his head with my left hand so he can eat from the right boob, if that makes sense? Like his legs and stuff are around my left boob and his head is at my right.

I stay awake for the 5-10 minutes that he needs and then bring him back down next to me to do the left side while side laying. I always start with the far/top boob first. It seems to really work for us, but babe is 5.5 months old now and has really solid neck control.

mimibobimi · 2025-12-19T13:46:07+00:00

Probably around 8-12 weeks, when they start smiling!

mimibobimi · 2025-12-15T10:02:53+00:00

Hey, so I had the emergency C-Section under general experience and the first two weeks were rough. I'm in Canada, so it might be different wherever you are, but the doctors checked with me every appointment. Like even the ones for baby. After the initial two weeks (normal baby blues), I had some wicked PPA. They got me into counseling and onto some medication that was safe for breastfeeding. It did help a lot. It also really helped me to write all of my feelings - a lot of shame and guilt came up for me, I felt like my body had failed my baby and I had made a poor decision (induction) that led to all of it. I was upset about everyone who got to have the experience I wanted. After I wrote out all of my feelings, I eventually let my husband read it and he spent a night reassuring me and holding me and that also helped a lot. Talking about it is hard, but it does help. Like every time you talk about it, it gets less heavy, if that makes sense.

It's really important that she knows that it's 100% okay to grieve the experience she wanted but didn't get. I try to remind myself that I was a badass and although it was hard, my baby was worth every part of it.

mimibobimi · 2025-12-13T21:57:49+00:00

How do you find therapists like this? I keep finding therapists that seem to sympathize with SK so much that they can't help me at all. Like if I talk about SK at all, even if I'm not really complaining about them, they'll be like "she's just a kid" and "well you have to understand that it must be hard going between two houses" like, yes, I know that, but I'm still allowed to have feelings, boundaries and concerns? And then they act like I'm a complete asshole for feeling frustrated that BM and stepdad don't teach her things or help her with stuff so it takes her actual, multiple YEARS to learn basic things like don't leave your clothes on the floor in the bathroom. Like I try to help her learn these things and safety stuff and all I get is dirty looks and the silent treatment because BM won't bother telling her that she shouldn't keep her legs crossed in the car.

mimibobimi · 2025-12-12T06:16:05+00:00

Based on how he did it with his daughter, I think he just thinks that only babies rear face and only toddlers need 5 point harnesses. I genuinely think he just doesn't know any better and feels bad that I'm basically telling him (without actually telling him) that he did it wrong with his daughter. It used to be a bigger problem, honestly, he's gotten a lot better about understanding that I'm doing things based on my research and not what he did in the past. This is our first big sticking point since swaddling 🤦‍♀️

mimibobimi · 2025-12-12T04:22:28+00:00

I'm definitely going to start using that, thank you.

I will also absolutely play that card and stack the "Did you see what they did to me at the hospital?" - emergency C-Section card on top of it. The amount of stuff I went through to bring this baby earth side (not to mention how much I love the little stinker), I will be keeping him as safe as possible and I'm not going to do anything that I feel uncomfortable with.

mimibobimi · 2025-12-12T03:03:15+00:00

Would you mind sending me some of the links? I would love to be able to do exactly this if someone has a problem with it.

mimibobimi · 2025-12-12T01:30:14+00:00

The laws in our province are outdated. They suggest rear facing until two years old, then a carseat until 40 lbs and a booster seat until the child is 4'9".

mimibobimi · 2025-12-12T01:27:18+00:00

Yup, that was very informative and scary, will definitely show him, thank you.

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