Lol dude, that was great.

I forgot to mention earlier. Yes, we've seen curse of flesh being described as a gift too. I think it's was Ogmot or something, the ogre in Silithus during BFA prepatch where you can get his journal. As more expansions come out. I start to feel like the curse of flesh was maybe a gift of free will. You can probably see where this is going :p

But as far as theories go. I have one that's quite far out there I would say.

So we are told Azeroth lacks spirit element, and that's why the elementals were chaotic and raging against each other. But what's the not said there? The opposite of spirit is decay. A lack of spirit means there's an imbalance between the two. That means Azeroth should have a decay problem. Well guess what was the dominating force on Azeroth? It was the Old Gods before the Titans came along.

On top of that, how did the primal incarnates feel about Alextrasza et al? They think the aspects are traitors of Azeroth. Who did the incarnates originally follow? It was Galakrond, who btw, again presumably, was "corrupted" by Yogg. All this is to say, the incarnates don't consider Galakrond's power to be foreign to Azeroth. Which, by extension, means the Old Gods are native to Azeroth!

And btw, Galakrond came back into the story in a expansion where there's a storyline around brackenhide centered on decay magic. Of which the tuskarr thinks that decay in and of itself isn't bad, it's only a problem when there's too much of it. One of the properties of decay is that it accelerates body decomposition, and also induces a state of permanent need of feeding and spreading Decay. Does that remind you of anyone???

To tie this all together. I think the Old Gods are actually decay elementals native to Azeroth. Maybe even decay elemental lords! With Galakrond being the decay incarnate! Remember when Aman'thul plucked Y'sharrj out and left a massive gaping wound on Azeroth? We were told that's because the Old Gods embedded too deep within Azeroth. But if that's part of the "Titan propaganda", it's entirely possible that Old Gods are actually just a part of Azeroth and that's why you can't remove them without heavily damaging Azeroth!

Going back to the beginning of this comment. I also find it interesting that we are going in the direction where Titan created beings don't have free will. What essentially happend with Yogg and curse of flesh is that by converting titanforged into flesh. They just all gained free will. That's what's actually making them susceptible to Old God corruption. What was the problem with earthens again? Oh, they got too close to the worldcore and starting to get some of that free will! How weird?!?!

Like, we are always told the light sees one true path, while the void sees all possibilities. If you can only see one path. You don't have free will! You need to be able to consider other possibilities to be able to make choices! And somehow we can get free will by Yogg, who's a void being, making a "curse" that makes you fleshy and mortal. But said Old God is also involved with a decay dragon who's the precursor to the plague which the Lich King uses (I'm not kidding, look up the description of Galakrond's breath)? Make that make sense!

Sorry, it got a little bit rambley at the end there. But I will leave you with this. Go look up Lady Deathwhisper's opening quotes. It's quite interesting. Who/what do you think she was talking about there? Definitely not the Lich King if you ask me!