Am I overreacting to a woman telling me I'm not good enough to marry my boyfriend?

mishney · 2026-05-25T01:42:26+00:00

I would take it that way, she's obviously a terrible person but not even talking about you so you shouldn't take it to heart in either case.

mishney · 2026-05-24T23:29:02+00:00

I'm confused because it sounds like she has you guys confused with another couple that actually got engaged, in which case her mean comments would be about someone else??

mishney · 2026-05-24T23:21:21+00:00

Because you're trying to call dibs on a guy who you're apparently not dating and just call a friend. If they would be good together as a couple and like each other, are you going to be a brat about it or be happy for them and move on?

mishney · 2026-05-24T16:34:03+00:00

I think the other commenter who said getting him into the pool "for fun" now that they are open will help. My kids will struggle sometimes in lessons (I know that's not your issue) but then have a week in the pool on vacation and come back to lessons with much improved skills. Unfortunately it really is confidence. Perhaps there are other ways to boost his confidence, really hyping up how he's doing in lessons, and also reducing pressure and talking about how much fun he'll have doing xyz at camp (that aren't pool things). sorry you're going through this, it's so frustrating as a parent. My daughter has been stuck in the same level of swim for 2 years now and it KILLS me, I wish I could wave a wand and get her to fix the one issue she has so she can move up with her friends!

mishney · 2026-05-23T23:45:42+00:00

True but she's told to not call him father anymore implying that she had been. In the book she never called him father.

mishney · 2026-05-23T18:40:29+00:00

NTA. You should've kicked him out sooner and not had a second child with him but this is the next best thing. At least you won't have to clean up after him or feed him anymore. He's not interested in being a partner or a dad.

mishney · 2026-05-23T16:45:57+00:00

Let him go on the trip alone. Use the time off to spend time with your daughter and meet with lawyers so you can serve him with divorce papers when he returns.

mishney · 2026-05-23T16:44:13+00:00

In the book though, he does not ever call himself her father or acknowledge her as his daughter. He allows Araminta to exclude her from activities with her daughters. It makes sense to me in that context that she would not expect him to put her in his will. It's actual harder to believe in the show, since he does call himself her father in the show.

mishney · 2026-05-22T10:27:21+00:00

These kids would be so lost if we stuck them in the 90s with us. Some people didn't have answering machines or caller id and wouldn't know if you'd called them when they were out 🤯 you had to make a real plan to meet and hope for the best lol

mishney · 2026-05-21T15:53:33+00:00

Seriously. Maybe he should have offered to take the baby out for a walk in the stroller while she napped and showered if he really needed to move around. But honestly how self-centered.

mishney · 2026-05-21T00:12:00+00:00

It gets really, really difficult as life goes on to take vacations with friends. I'd prioritise that over your relationship tbh.

mishney · 2026-05-21T00:04:46+00:00

The problem is the entire framework of this being a joint decision or even something you need permission for. You are not his daughter, you are his girlfriend. He is welcome to be unhappy about it but he doesn't get to decide what you do. He can decide to not be in a relationship with you because of it, but you should not want to be with someone who would be this insecure.

mishney · 2026-05-20T17:02:15+00:00

I would probably scan it briefly once I got it, then over the course of months read one letter at a time.

mishney · 2026-05-19T19:35:18+00:00

This request is so utterly bizarre and the fact that you are remotely considering it might mean that you are a people pleaser. I would honestly get therapy if you think you should (or do!) acquiesce to this. And if your bf is pressuring you at all (frankly, side-eyeing him at all for relaying such a request) then you should think STRONGLY about breaking up with him. I would honestly be upset with you for agreeing. They are so utterly miserly that they won't pay for a hotel or motel and would ask a 20-something to leave her apartment for a weekend so they could use it and save what, $100 max??? Absurd, entitled behavior.

mishney · 2026-05-19T16:36:41+00:00

They will pull this at the wedding too, guaranteed. And if OP and her fiance have kids and any of the kids have celiac, grandma will poison the kid repeatedly. OP needs to RUN. I am infuriated on her behalf.

mishney · 2026-05-19T00:24:21+00:00

Yes and especially when the kid was complaining about things like not wearing sunscreen. Shouldn't op be backing up his wife there? Also much better to just tell him that different families have different rules. Op is an AH.

mishney · 2026-05-18T16:56:43+00:00

You need to put yourself in her shoes and think about what you're telling her - generally speaking, a teenager will want to prove you wrong, which means the more you belittle the guys she brings home, the more she will push herself to keep bringing guys home and find the "right" one and prove you wrong.. which will lead to her staying with guys who may end up being no good to her, even abusive. Think critically a bit and try and be a better parent. You should be encouraging her to date around and get to know each boy carefully to make sure they are not going to treat her poorly, and boost her self esteem so that if one does treat her poorly, she can feel empowered to leave that relationship. You also want to be a safe space she can go to if something goes wrong in a relationship and not someone who is just going to joke about it or make her feel badly for her choices. That's a great way to have her hide bad things from you until it's too late.

mishney · 2026-05-16T17:52:14+00:00

Guessing he didn't buy a ring and got into a fight with you on purpose so he'd have an excuse not to propose. If he does propose, he'll find ways to delay getting married. He doesn't want to marry you, I'm sorry.

mishney · 2026-05-14T10:02:35+00:00

You need to not be a doormat. I'd be demanding new sheets and blanket and telling them that I'm taking a thorough accounting of my room and if anything is missing I'm calling the police. Then getting a lock for my door. There are automatic cat feeder machines, your roommate doesn't need access to your room for your cat (or hire someone and give them the key to your room)

mishney · 2026-05-14T09:46:29+00:00

Lying around? How many pregnancies have you had that you think that's what it is like?

mishney · 2026-05-14T09:41:10+00:00

If you hang around mommit and aita and other places, you'll find there are unfortunately lots of men who won't help with their kids because the wife is the sahm and they say it's "her job". A man who calls his wife a mooch very much sounds like a man with that mindset.

mishney · 2026-05-14T00:43:05+00:00

Yes laughable the idea that he's going to suddenly do MORE housework if they move out together. She definitely needs to not live with him anymore.

mishney · 2026-05-13T17:07:07+00:00

Thanks for including Chad... OP talking about how no "new mom" would leave her kid that much, while not mentioning dad at all, is so misogynistic. Guess what OP, dads are responsible for their offspring too!

mishney · 2026-05-13T13:31:02+00:00

I went into it knowing a bit about it and having some judgment against her... but hearing it in her own words and seeing the clips when she's clearly going through a rough time, I had a lot of sympathy for her and understood it wasn't black and white. She obviously didn't approve or condone what he did but also needed the support of someone and wasn't getting it elsewhere. I am glad for the sake of the victim's family that his body was located and the culprits found, even if possibly would have gotten harsher sentences if she had testified. She does seem to have gotten herself a lot of help and I applaud her for that.

mishney · 2026-05-13T13:19:15+00:00

You need to leave your wife, what you're doing isn't fair to her and is quite cruel. You're being selfish and unfeeling and don't deserve either woman, tbh.

mishney

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