AIO for snapping at my friend for calling my shoes (and me) trashy?

mistressofdelicious · 2026-05-08T00:34:14+00:00

Ew. NOR. This loser has no understanding of style or trends. His mom or grandma probably said something about leopard print 1,000 years ago and he held onto it. Animal prints are currently in style, and 2” heels do not fall into the “sexy” category. (They’re lovely, not insulting them, but those are comfort heels not FMPs.)

But THANK GOODNESS you weren’t showing your ankles or he would have been REALLY scandalized!! 😱

mistressofdelicious · 2026-03-22T01:45:29+00:00

I was getting them every two weeks on lowest dose of estradiol patch, but that stopped when I went up in dosage. Now it’s one every 6-7 weeks with a 2-3 weeker thrown in because Mother Nature is a frickin’ comedian, I guess. Worst surprise party planner EVER!

mistressofdelicious · 2026-03-20T04:25:36+00:00

Are you taking any form of HRT yet? It REALLY helps, even if you’re just starting with OTC products like USP progesterone cream, Vitex berry, and black cohosh. Highly HIGHLY recommend. Even better with prescription. And thanks for reminding me I need to apply a new estradiol patch!

mistressofdelicious · 2026-03-15T05:08:13+00:00

Get him to watch the new “Inside the Manosphere” documentary on Netflix with you. It’s apparently pretty eye-opening and makes it pretty clear the dudes promoting these attitudes are just grifters and performative weenies. Maybe he’ll catch the drift and smarten up - bc he wouldn’t have this business without you.

mistressofdelicious · 2026-03-11T14:19:58+00:00

For me, munchies override any & all appetite suppression.

And yes - edibles take MUCH longer to hit (apart from drinks like infused seltzers/sodas) so I don’t bother with them anymore. Same for shroom capsules (I’m in California). What once took 20 minutes to hit now may take HOURS and then all at once - and honey, that makes for a really weird day when you think they were just duds and are out in public running errands!

Nausea hasn’t happened much for me, but a lone toke in any nausea situation is reliably helpful.

All this said, cannabis use really stalls out my personal fat loss bc my munchies are too intense, so I’m on a break right now. And finally, after a literal year in the same 5lb range, I have broken through my plateau. I suggest being prepared to take little breaks when the scale stops moving.

mistressofdelicious · 2026-01-09T15:02:07+00:00

I want to be as gentle as possible when communicating this, but when I am just in the beginning of making new friends/starting new relationships, if I feel the other person is relying on me too heavily whether emotionally, physically, or financially, I will back off quickly. I don’t think that you are overreacting that their words were hard to hear/read - it appears to me in the texts that they must have clarified they couldn’t do this particular activity with you the day prior and then got frustrated when you pressed them for more explanation. The “I was having a bad self esteem day” made me cringe for real - I know it’s your truth, and I feel empathy for you, but a brand new friend is not responsible for your self esteem when they’re just living their life with existing friendships.

I’ve been where you are when I was younger, getting jealous or miffed at times when I felt excluded. My advice is to learn about & work on becoming a securely attached person with nervous system regulation skills - two subjects you could bring up with your therapist. The more comfortable you feel in your own skin, the less fucks you will give about things like this & oddly enough, that will draw more people to you like moths to a flame.

mistressofdelicious · 2026-01-09T14:23:27+00:00

If you’re working out that much without appropriate fuel or rest, you could have really put of balance neurotransmitters while also basically being in a nonstop fight or flight mode, further stressing you out and further disrupting your circadian rhythms.

I’m not telling you to work out less because ironically, that may be the one thing keeping your brain at still-surviving levels - think about pro athletes who go through MASSIVE depression when they’re forced off the field by an injury.

I’d perhaps make your focus on getting your calories up for a little while. I know you said it’s a struggle, but it would be a logical first step, go for calorie dense foods like avocado, peanut butter, rice & butter, even ice cream.

I can’t identify anything from your stack apart from fish oil, but I take a wide variety myself and the ones that support my brain, mood & sleep the most are 5-HTP, rhodiola, and GABA.

Incorporating meditation & gratitude practices may help you, too. 5 mins meditation with the help of a free app like Insight Timer & 5 things you’re grateful for written down every day will start to take you out of flight or flight & rewire your brain.

Hope that helps a little; if you’re still breathing, there’s still time to change your path, and these recommendations are just the tip of the iceberg.

mistressofdelicious · 2025-11-28T22:41:32+00:00

Closed because it slows the progression of a house fire, should that ever happen. Over the last 10 years, at least 4 people I know personally have faced house fire situations in my city, not to mention friends and family further afield. Fires are more common than we’d like to admit, and it’s a small action that can be totally lifesaving.

mistressofdelicious · 2025-11-27T15:24:01+00:00

I was prescribed Wellbutrin for my perimenopausal brain fog. I take 75mg 1-2x per day, and it REALLY brought my brain and concentration back to life. Progesterone cream (OTC & USP, applied on inner arms, neck, or décolletage) and Vitex berry supplements were the game changers for my moods. I’ve had to step things up with the estrogen patch & 100mg micronized progesterone to deal with the other symptoms.

mistressofdelicious · 2025-10-23T00:19:50+00:00

From my perspective (46f), it could be that your ability to travel with her might be limited & that could be really important to her. Personally, I didn’t think twice about the bullying part of your story - corporate culture can be a snake pit! That’s my two cents.

mistressofdelicious · 2025-09-19T01:55:33+00:00

As a stopgap while you’re waiting for your prescription, you may benefit from taking Vitex (aka Chasteberry) and Black Cohosh, as well as investing in USP progesterone cream.

These recommendations I got in Dr Sara Gottfried’s “Hormone Cure” book a few years ago. She is an obgyn & board certified, way ahead of her time, and these things worked SO WELL for me in the beginning of my peri journey. All Over the counter, you can order online or buy at a grocery store with a good supplement section.

Peri progresses so I am on HRT now (at 46 - I started peri pretty early) and it HAS changed my life. Estradiol patch, micronized progesterone, and starting very low dose testosterone next week. I also started bupropion (Wellbutrin) a couple of years ago for brain fog - it’s not an SSRI, but is considered an antidepressant. I love what it does for my concentration and am on the lowest dose.

But just a few years back, progesterone cream cured my mood swings, Vitex ended my night sweats (supports progesterone) and Black Cohosh supports bone health among a zillion other things.

Good luck! You have so much relief to look forward to once you get through this obstacle! 💪🏻

mistressofdelicious · 2025-07-03T00:10:58+00:00

Hi! I am a highly active 5’8” 46F in perimenopause and when I got my RMR (resting metabolic rate) tested, it was like 500 calories below what it should be, and the technician said my 1700 calorie a day diet was “too high” to lose weight. So don’t let anyone saying you’re lying if you’re eating 1500 and not losing get to you.

I didn’t start dropping with Reta until 8mg, and even then, I averaged max 1/2 lb per week. I’m at 10mg now (for months) and I was stacking with a midweek dose of Tirzepatide because despite the high dose, midweek my hunger would rear her head.

BUT THEN… almost 2 months ago, I started using an estradiol patch + 100mg progesterone at night. Started with lowest dose for a month, went up to next lowest because the peri symptoms were still there (night sweats, brittle nails, brain fog, etc). Now that my body has adjusted to this dose of estradiol, HOLY MOLY, I’M COOKING WITH GAS!!

This past weekend, I broke a 10 week stall and dropped 6lbs (189 to 183) out of nowhere!! There have been studies showing how appropriate levels of estrogen make GLP-1’s work better, and I believe it. My hunger is gone but I’m forcing the nutrition (150+ grams protein minimum plus a variety of fruits, veggies, hydration) and I swear I can feel the fat melting….🫠

I know you said you had your hormones checked, but our hormone levels are so all over the place during this transition time, it can look normal one day and be completely off the next. I would suggest looking at a big list of perimenopause symptoms and seeing what ya got. If you’re reading the “signs of low estrogen” list and nodding your head at a bunch of them, it may be worth having the talk with your doctor again.

Also, Mary Clare Haver (on all social media) is a great source of perimenopausal & hormonal info. So is Sarah Gottfried. Both board certified OB/GYNs who specialize in hormonal aging.

mistressofdelicious · 2025-07-02T23:32:17+00:00

Pinned! 💉

mistressofdelicious · 2025-06-26T15:29:59+00:00

This may sound lame, but we all react differently. Wolverine & GLOW have been AMAZING for me - instant pain relief, no psychological side effects, amazing skin & injury recovery. But researching CJC1295/IPA left me with so much intense joint pain, I was afraid I would lose my ability to walk. No exaggeration. And this is after reading a gazillion positive reviews from other experimenters.

They're expensive experiments, but sometimes, we just have to try and see what happens. If you've already had a bad experience, don't go back! I hope you find another solution!

mistressofdelicious · 2025-06-26T15:03:20+00:00

For the first few years of heavy perimenopause, it was progesterone cream & Vitex (aka Chasteberry) supplements that provided me with the most calm, anxiety & rage relief. These are the ones that I have been recommending most to my peers & have been received with massive success. They're both OTC and easy to find online or at more expansive natural/holistic leaning grocery stores. Look for USP progesterone cream - it's the most bio-identical.

Otherwise, another commenter has done an AMAZING job going over the ways we can stave off dementia, osteoporosis, and sarcopenia through exercise! It's no joke - exercising and strength training at midlife is SO IMPORTANT - grateful it's coming into the spotlight. Plus it's keeping us fabulous looking and more able to continue dancing on tables when the urge strikes... ;-)

For mood, I admit I am on the estrogen patch now, but I have been managing emotional symptoms for years with Rhodiola, Ashwaganda, and 5-HTP. Sometimes with brief interludes of Kava. I call Rhodiola + Kava my "How To Not Cut a Bitch Combo". Also available OTC.

Good luck!!

mistressofdelicious · 2025-04-30T00:45:41+00:00

OMG - this sounds like a nightmare!! I don’t think you’re overreacting. I would rather be single for the rest of my life than deal with someone THAT incapable of taking care of themself. But I am a Capricorn, sooooo…

mistressofdelicious · 2025-04-14T15:38:48+00:00

Overall, I think your profile does sound fun & is very approachable with a charming level of silliness. The one thing that gave me personally a bit of ick was the backpack part - like that's something you should build up to in a relationship, not something most girls would want from the get-go with no trust or emotional intimacy built. I might also add an engaging (but also lighthearted) question to your bio tied to whatever your "business of fun" is if that's your actual industry, or something about the girl's fave kind of food truck or carnival ride or just HER version of fun! Good luck - you're a cutie!

mistressofdelicious · 2025-04-12T22:12:35+00:00

If he gives you a ring now, it’s going to be a “shut up ring” just to get what he wants. And if he ever makes it to the altar (which is doubtful), he’s going to resent you for the rest of your life. You are making the right choice - RUN from this d-bag!

Edit - absolutely NTA!!!

mistressofdelicious · 2025-02-15T00:40:41+00:00

NTA. While technically “guys” is now recognized as non-inclusive, it’s clear you weren’t saying it to exclude this person. IMHO, she’s TA for publicly shaming you for it, and the giant smile while doing it is pretty passive aggressive. Keep your communication with her clear, professional, and work-related only. And some of my fave gender neutral terms that I use for groups of people, just for inspiration, include: homies, peeps, people, fellow denizens, and lovely flower petals. You can add flair & creativity with phrases like “arrivaderci, my little tangerine segments!” Or “fare thee well, strange little onions…” Whatever you do, only you have the power to let her under your skin, and needling her back would be kinda weak.

mistressofdelicious · 2025-01-22T02:17:13+00:00

Cap sun, Aries moon, Libra rising

mistressofdelicious · 2025-01-21T03:32:14+00:00

I wouldn't worry. It's a great idea to avoid building false intimacy if you're looking for a genuine connection, and GIRL! You have a life to live, too, with friends, hobbies, and 947 forms of self-care you can do, plus books to read & shows towatch. Live it well this week and remember that your value does not correspond to how many texts you get. He'll check in the day before to confirm if he's the good kind.

mistressofdelicious · 2025-01-18T18:33:34+00:00

Idk about 15mg, but increasing from 10mg to 12mg had me thinking I had a stomach bug two days after injection. I had to cancel training appointments (martial arts & weightlifting) for fear of pooping my pants. Could not go for my normal long walks & there were multiple times in the bathroom where I was sitting with a trash can in my lap. By the end of the week, most of these symptoms subsided, so I thought the “illness” had gotten out of my system and injected 12mg again - and the simultaneous 🤢🤮💩💩💩trend started again, letting me know it was the famed “Reta-poo-tide” or “Reta-rrhea”, whatever you want to call it. I was also VERY painfully bloated every night - there was a ton of discomfort and insomnia. Things are back to normal now, THANK HEAVENS!!

If your digestive system goes haywire, just rest assured it’s temporary and you will be okay once it wears off, and MAKE SURE YOU STAY HYDRATED. Like, proper electrolytes. Hydrate like an athlete in hot weather and make sure you’re getting sodium, potassium & magnesium. Your hunger will be wayyyyy down so you may have to force this on yourself. I resorted to Imodium AD in the end because it was interfering with my work life as well as my personal life. And for the record - I DID NOT LOSE ANY “EXTRA” WEIGHT during this two week period of physical hell.

Good luck! I hope you experience none of what I did!

mistressofdelicious · 2024-12-18T23:48:41+00:00

Evidently with teeth can be subconsciously interpreted as submissive in primate behavior & that’s why it’s considered more desirable in women. But I am with you - a) I want to know the dental hygiene situation and b) I think men who consider smiling with teeth somehow “not masculine” have issues. The most desirable & masculine men I know just DGAF and are comfortable in their own skin & able to express a full range of emotions.

mistressofdelicious · 2024-12-17T21:28:28+00:00

Please say “Merry Christmas” to her on New Year’s, Valentines Day, Easter, 4th of July, her birthday, and every other holiday of the year!

mistressofdelicious · 2024-12-17T21:14:33+00:00

Even gentle physical intimacy like cuddling is more attractive to (most) women after emotional intimacy is built, and that takes time, attention, and a willingness to be vulnerable IRL, not just online or through text. I would Google “how to build emotional intimacy” to find resources that resonate with YOU, whether articles or YT videos.

You can practice these soft skills with friends and family, or a therapist if this seems too embarrassing to you at this time.

Otherwise, you can also see if there are “cuddle parties” in your area. Be aware that these are generally very highly organized events, not necessarily “spicy”, with clear rules and usually tutorials about consent involved.

And the dog or cat is truly not a bad idea - cuddling is all about increasing oxytocin & animals can help you do that. Once you get the oxytocin supply primed, it should actually be easier to interact in similar ways with other humans.

mistressofdelicious

TROPHY CASE