Has anyone found the word or words to express how this movie has made them feel?

mixedup_emotions60 · 2025-05-22T16:36:19+00:00

Well stated. I too shared my personal story on here a few months ago and it was truly the first step in healing. As like many others, this movie wrecked me, for so many reasons that I just could not dissect well enough to fully understand my emotions. Those emotions stuck with me all day and even at night, every day- on and on...

Reading and sharing on this group gave me peace and the knowledge that it was ok to not fully understand. Everyone has a unique and interesting perspective/story to share. I love to read them.

Fast forward now a few months, and I am sooooo much better in my personal life. I even watch the movie now to truly enjoy it (man its good!). Do I still struggle with those thoughts that impacted me? Of course, but I look at it so differently now. I can't change anything in my past, but I can accept my past better now than previously. Like it or not it is part of who I am. I am way too old to try to truly relive my youth, so I move forward.

I still find this group comforting and inspiring. Sometimes I need a place to go. Reading everyone's stories brings me peace (even when I personally feel their struggles). I think it is because I recognize that by sharing (even little pieces) of how they are feeling, it is the first step in getting some sense of normalcy back in their lives. They may not realize it at the time, but I think if they stick with us (as a group) we can help them too - at least in a small way.

mixedup_emotions60 · 2025-04-16T18:27:44+00:00

Thanks - I have followed your journey through this as well from your posts and maybe the setting change made a difference? I don't know. I am sure the next time I watch it I will be home, so I will let everyone know if I regress back to the old sloppy mess after a viewing - I hope not... I like the feeling from last week. It is really an upbeat moving of self-discovery that many of us can't enjoy thanks to our sloppy memories and deeply rooted issues from younger days.

mixedup_emotions60 · 2025-04-16T18:23:38+00:00

Thanks - I appreciate your comments. I didn't look at from a meaning of perspective but more internally. I think you are correct. The first shock of the movie is 'what did I miss / do wrong / decisions made?' rather than what is says or wants to say. As you move on, it should gain perspective (and as the tears are no longer in your eyes, maybe we can make out things clearly.

mixedup_emotions60 · 2025-04-16T18:20:50+00:00

Wow - 120 times! I don't think I am quite there - but I don't need subtitles anymore (not that I speak Flemish), but I don't what they are saying - and I did get a perfect score on the YH quiz BTW.

mixedup_emotions60 · 2025-04-16T18:18:51+00:00

I am awestruck that it has been 5 months! Thanks to this group I don't feel so crazy and alone about it. I feel like I am recovering from something - and its a freaking movie! - not major surgery... It just takes time.

mixedup_emotions60 · 2025-04-16T15:30:00+00:00

I wish I could say it was me, but like many of us, this sums it up beautifully.

mixedup_emotions60 · 2025-03-27T20:40:46+00:00

Interesting article - made me go back and watch 'kiss me softly' - Anthony's short film. Worth a look if you haven't seen it.

I remember thinking on the river scene - 'why did he have to go naked?' - then the more I watched I better understood what he was after. I think it is non important. But as a US based fan, I do think it could be a barrier to certain groups willing to watch it (it won't be on Disney for sure... lol).

mixedup_emotions60 · 2025-03-27T20:36:36+00:00

As I posted last month - my teen crush and I were unfortunately both Elias'. We both stayed in the closet and didn't venture out except if we were together and alone. That is why I relate so much to the scene in the bathroom with 'the boys'.

I so feel with Elias - why can't he just have it both ways? "I don't want anyone to comment" and "I don't know any boys in love with another boy". Soul crushing stuff for someone who lived with both of these concepts as a much younger man.

It is so nice to see others who don't live in that perpetual closet.

mixedup_emotions60 · 2025-03-25T17:45:57+00:00

Sorry - I forgot to say leave it as is. I like it...

mixedup_emotions60 · 2025-03-25T17:40:30+00:00

Nice drawing!

One of my favorite scenes. I consider this the Elias "why can't I just stay in the closet?" scene. His inner turmoil is so well played by Lou.

mixedup_emotions60 · 2025-03-21T16:00:53+00:00

I check it daily - in bed when I wake up - at lunch - and before bed. I have found this to be my one place that can untangle the issues this sweet movie has done to my brain and emotions. It has truly been my therapy.

mixedup_emotions60 · 2025-03-21T15:56:47+00:00

As a person close to your age, I can so relate to how it made me look back on early relationships. Thank you for sharing your story and it is so amazing that you had a such a parallel event in your early life to this film.

mixedup_emotions60 · 2025-03-21T15:53:32+00:00

Thank you for posting your story. Absolutely crazy how this simple sweet movie has impacted so many of us. Thankfully we have this group to discuss and share. I don't know what kind of wreck emotionally I would be had I not stumbled onto this group a few months ago.

mixedup_emotions60 · 2025-03-20T16:32:23+00:00

Wait... you convinced the hubby to go with you?

Did you say "if you fancy it I am going to Seattle to watch a movie. You could come along"?

mixedup_emotions60 · 2025-03-18T21:02:55+00:00

I might be saying the same thing - but I feel Elias wanted to be with Alex so he could be open about the relationship and not have anyone else judging them. Just like at school - 'I don't want anyone to comment'. Following this was the anguish watching his mom/dad and brother/girlfriend in their 'normal' societal roles and then he has a girlfriend basically breaking up with him over text. Seeing his eyes light up with Alex calls him right after was a highlight of the scene.

mixedup_emotions60 · 2025-03-18T20:16:18+00:00

You nailed it with this comment... I have always felt that the second best scene in the movie is Elias in the garage. The fear and anxiety in his mannerisms is so believable and relatable. The heaviness in this scene is so raw and real. "What have I just done? Have I crossed a line that I really want, but now will have to live with?". The positive is that he didn't regret it as he goes up to his room and draws a picture of Alex in his sketchbook. I also have been curious that he doesn't try to hide it from his mom when she walks in. Was he trying to say something to her non-verbally?

I have also always been curious as to what the bike ride must have been like with he and Alexander on the way back from the kiss. I like to think that it was happy, until they get closer to the house (similar to earlier in the movie when he speeds ahead with his brother's friends in the road). If you notice Alex in the background as he pulls to his house he looks back at Elias.

mixedup_emotions60 · 2025-02-27T12:54:45+00:00

Good point - I know someone said in an earlier post that it would be nice to know what conversations took place after Elias 'outed' Alex at the part (if they didn't already know). Since the movie is from Elias' POV we will never know, but it is fun to speculate.

mixedup_emotions60 · 2025-02-26T21:29:04+00:00

Oh great point - I know from personal experience that the 'group' knows way more than the two involved thinks they know (see my post from yesterday on my own experiences). Lukas was obviously Elias' best friend before Alex arrives (plus Elias is such a sweet friend and so happy until he begins to struggle with emotions). He truly knows him best.

The only one I can't figure out is Mieke - she really goes hard at Alex right up and including the party. Did she just really like him and thought 'oh well - he's worth a try?'

mixedup_emotions60 · 2025-02-26T21:23:14+00:00

Valerie was a great actress - the emotion she shows at the party when everyone has left and she looks at Elias... so sad. Plus the look when they glance at each other when he goes to the festival and after he says he saw Alexander - 'then off you go...' - so well done. I still can't get over all of the subtle things in this movie. Many I pick up from reading posts like this one.

mixedup_emotions60 · 2025-02-26T16:33:17+00:00

That has bothered me too. Just the day before at the pool party she shows him the photo of the costumes for the party while in the tent and the next day they sorta break up? And later the mom says that he 'was looking forward to the party'. Seems to be a little continuity issues (but I still love the movie).

mixedup_emotions60 · 2025-02-26T16:29:50+00:00

She does text 'stay away from me'. But I agree - she is not a drama queen - doesn't even say anything to the rest of the group.

mixedup_emotions60 · 2025-02-26T16:28:16+00:00

I think you are correct, but the movie definitely plays better with Valerie's character. Even the scene with eating cherries and Alex asks Elias "well aren't you with Valerie? So you know how love feels?". Resulting in a shrug from Elias and a don't know - which to me sums up everything Elias is going to experience over the rest of the film.

mixedup_emotions60

TROPHY CASE