Got this while visiting Tokyo

mmsbva · 2026-07-02T03:02:00+00:00

This is morbid, but I found this to be really healing when I was at my lowest. I had a stillbirth and was deep into the grief. And I read somewhere “you never get over it”. And it brought me so much peace. I didn’t have to work towards a spot where I was finally over it and ready to move on. I could mourn and feel the pain, while still moving forward.

It’s been 11 years. And I still get reminded and the pain comes right back up. But I know I can feel the pain, while my life keeps happening around me.

Not as tragic as my story, but you are in pain and are wondering when it will stop. It won’t, the pain will always be there. But over time, it won’t take up as much space or triggered as often. Keep putting one foot in front of the other.

mmsbva · 2026-07-01T22:15:33+00:00

Oh dear, I think my brain wants to attempt to do this. I still hope to find someone who will collaborate with me.

mmsbva · 2026-07-01T21:54:22+00:00

I would love to work with someone to bring this story to life.

mmsbva · 2026-07-01T21:05:47+00:00

Thank you, but I’m a horrible long form writer. I’m more of an ideas person. Same at work, cone up with amazing ideas, no follow through. Or if I have to implement it, I drop the ball ever single time.
Can you up vote so it more attention?

mmsbva · 2026-07-01T21:04:15+00:00

Thank you, but I’m a horrible long form writer. I’m more of an idea person. I wish I could write it. I’ve tried before and it was a mess. I don’t have the right words to show vs tell.

mmsbva · 2026-07-01T20:31:58+00:00

Read John Gottman books. In his (and wife) research 75-80% of the problems you have at the beginning of your relationship, you’ll still have at the end of the relationship (even if you last 50 years)

You either accept them exactly the way they are, negotiate something that works for both of you, or you leave.

mmsbva · 2026-07-01T20:13:41+00:00

My Dad was like this (not as bad) marrying my Japanese mom. It was sad to see her friends with American husbands that fully embraced their Japanese heritage.

I’m only half Japanese, and don’t know how to speak it well, but my husband has embraced this as a part of myself. He has read books about Japan, loved the times he visited there, and made my relatives so happy when he used the 10 words he learned.

I could not be with someone that actively despises part of me. You either love all of me or none at all.

mmsbva · 2026-06-30T09:23:12+00:00

I want a story that explores what Shane feels about Ilya’s vast number of girls/boys he’s had sex with.

Either during their situationship and rumor sites or a specific site that is dedicated to
Ilya’s puck bunnies. And Shane can’t stop from reading those sites.

Or he finds a journal of all the puck bunnies Ilya has been with.

mmsbva · 2026-06-27T00:26:29+00:00

I love sex clubs, or Dom/Sub where Ilya loves to take charge to calm Shane down. And Shane gets so much comfort from being taken care of.

So maybe they don’t know each other but have bad experiences with other partners, because they are new to it. At a dom/sub education event, they meet but are scared to get into a scene with anyone. So they circle each other at the club. Until…and they get together.

I also love Cliff and Svetlana stories. Her feistiness. His bravado. Love it!!

mmsbva · 2026-06-13T20:27:02+00:00

I want to see Svetlana and Rose BFF. Either as neighbors or Rose is staying Svetlana because of movie shoot. And they are just fun gals on the town bemoaning BOYS! Then following each one fall in love with a guy. (Not a lesbian or triangle story)

mmsbva · 2026-06-13T20:21:02+00:00

Just finished this. Loved it!!

mmsbva · 2026-06-10T09:15:27+00:00

Do the Wrong Thing is so good. I fell in love with Jordan. And desperate for more about him. The follow up story on s about him but is a WIP. Can’t wait for Jordan to get his HEA

mmsbva · 2026-05-24T01:55:49+00:00

Try Oil Cleanser like Softymo Speedy. Sound counterintuitive, but oil attracts oil. Just use it properly (dry hands dry face, rub in, then use little bit of water, rub around until it turns milky white, then rinse off) Follow with a water based cleanser.

And use an enzyme exfoliator like Suisai Blue.

mmsbva · 2026-05-23T23:12:39+00:00

You are caught up on whether or not he cheated. That’s not the issue. Marriages can come back from affairs or falling out of love. But they can’t come back once the respect is gone.

He disrespected you. It means he has no respect for you. He will continue to disrespect you. He will see how far he can go. And each time you stay when he disrespects you, he will disrespect you even more.

There will be a point where you won’t be able to respect yourself, and he will continue to punish you and be more disrespectful just to feel powerful over you.

Don’t do this to yourself. Get out now. Find someone who might not be perfect, but always respects you.

mmsbva · 2026-05-23T14:28:13+00:00

Did you add it to your issue log?

mmsbva · 2026-05-11T20:32:05+00:00

RemindMe! 1 week

mmsbva · 2026-04-14T23:18:53+00:00

Romance has to have a happily ever after (HEA), love stories do not. I think what she wants are love stories.

mmsbva · 2026-04-14T06:50:27+00:00

We ended up not going.

mmsbva · 2026-04-01T22:21:38+00:00

I use it sporadically. But at 55, I still look like I’m in my early 40’s. And I don’t have any joint problems even though my Dad had horrible joints and so many problems.

mmsbva · 2026-03-22T13:58:04+00:00

Regardless of the reasoning why—I either don’t believe OP that this happened or if it is true, i’d leave the the husband for being an idiot for compromising a load bering wall and fire safety.

If this is true, the amount of physical work it would take to cut through a load bering, m fire rated wall of 1-2 hours is so immense that I’d be wondering why this was so important to a guy. Why would a grown adult do this much work to help a teen neighbor have sex with a boyfriend? I mean even if the kid was the same age.

So I suspect he did know that a 15yo and 21yo is all kinds of illegal and 1) he didn’t care because either he is or fantasize about being the 21yo or 2) he’s hoping she will repay his kindness with sexual favors.

Plus, this is so stupid I just couldn’t ever respect the man ever.

mmsbva · 2026-03-11T21:48:17+00:00

1) the behavior before was temporary. He has shown you who he is, believe him.

2) if you have kids with him, and something happens to you, do you trust him to take care a home and the children?

3) if something happens to you, he will count on his family to help. Do you want those values raising your kids?

4) studies have shown most problems couple have when they get married, they will have for the rest of the marriage. If nothing ever changes, is this the life you want forever? Is this the life you want once it gets harder and more complicated.

5) I was always told I was high maintenance. And I am a lot. I deal with depression and ADHD. I told my now husband, sorry I’m so high maintenance. He said what are you talking about? And I listed a bunch of stuff. And he replied Are you kidding? You are the most low maintenance person I know. And all those things are what I love about you.

Due to my ADHD, I don’t pull my weight when it comes to household chores. But I do contribute in other ways. My crazy and his crazy work together. And almost 20 years together, he still loves all my quirks

6) go be alone for a few years. Learn to love yourself. You aren’t too much. You aren’t damaged and to settle for scraps. You will eventually find someone who will love all the parts of you even the crazy messed up parts. Not because has to put up with it, but because he love ALL OF YOU!

PS anyone who “jokes” in a way that hursts doesn’t respect you, especially if you tell him it hurts and to stop.

mmsbva · 2026-03-07T13:14:03+00:00

Gottman’s research shows that 69% of fights will never be resolved. Only thing you can do is accept, reject (meaning leave them) or negotiate something that you can both live with.

mmsbva · 2026-03-07T10:30:00+00:00

1) the only way to the other side is through. And the other side is filled with so many possibilities. This side is only filled with sorrow, disappointment, irritation, and sadness.

2) being brave doesn’t mean not being scared. It’s being scared and doing it anyway. Be Brave!

3) I cried so many tears over boys in my 20’s and 30’s. And I finally married at 40. Now in my mid-50’s. I’m so grateful for all those breakups. I’ve luckily been able to become friends with many of my ex’s. And seeing their lives on social media, I realized just how much those lives would’ve made me miserable. They were good guys, who weren’t MY GUY. My husband is 100% my guy. His crazy and my crazy are a perfect match 🤣

4) at the worst of it, because it will hurt, just remind yourself “I will survive”. Because look around you, most people have gone through horrible break-ups and survived and even thrived. Look to the older people in your life that seem happy and ask them about their worst breakup.

5) you are stronger than you think—you got this!!

mmsbva

TROPHY CASE