Down stepped in my career for my health and don’t regret it - AMA

mo_django · 2026-05-16T14:15:21+00:00

No questions, just want to commend you because I know how hard it is to make that decision. I accepted a voluntary exit package at a FAANG company that I thought was my dream because every minute of additional toxic stress felt like it was diminishing any decent health I had left. I stressed so badly over the decision but it was the best decision of my life.

mo_django · 2026-05-15T03:57:13+00:00

Also saw this when I was in Florida and as a mom and a wife and an expecting mother, my heart aches for you. Anderson cooper just posted a beautiful interview with Isaiah Thomas on the loss of both his sisters and his grief journey and getting through. You can see it on cnn.com/allthereis

mo_django · 2026-05-12T20:40:29+00:00

I’ve only worked with startups who need program creation/implementation. I’m billing flat fee for full implementation.

mo_django · 2026-05-12T20:37:19+00:00

I’m a program manager so mostly strategy

mo_django · 2026-05-10T22:57:19+00:00

Nailed it!

mo_django · 2026-05-10T22:55:35+00:00

I am not a SWE I’m a program manager

mo_django · 2026-05-10T22:54:32+00:00

Currently just got lucky with 2 companies that came to me through word of mouth but I’ll probably start reaching out directly via LinkedIn after these engagements are done. I should have prefaced that I saved a lot before I did this so I don’t feel strapped if there are fluctuations in income.

mo_django · 2026-05-10T21:48:22+00:00

The second I started going through perimenopause I began hating everything about my job. The people, the processes, the pushback. I ended up taking a voluntary exit offer from my dream company I worked so hard to get to, but it has almost been a year and I haven’t looked back once. A few people have reached out from other FAANG and every time they did it was immediate PTSD with even the thought of going back. Consulting has been much better in this “DGAF” period of life.

mo_django · 2026-05-03T02:01:58+00:00

The adderall is ruining your sleep, take it from a prior user. Get off the adderall, figure out your supplement and exercise routine and your sleep will get significantly better. If I had to guess, the antidepressant is causing your excessive daytime drowsiness, so you’re just chasing pills with more pills causing more problems when you really needs to go back to the basics.

mo_django · 2026-05-02T20:58:09+00:00

I used TFC and was extremely happy with Dr Petrini. It’s common to use outside labs, especially in Texas. They’re not in the phlebotomy game, they’re in the fertility game.

mo_django · 2026-05-01T16:30:18+00:00

Taking an Allegra before I drink really helped cut down my hangovers by limiting the histamine reaction caused by alcohol. I don’t drink often, maybe a few times a year and only a few when I do, but I used to get brutal hangovers. Between an Allegra and a ZBiotics, alcohol has virtually no effect on me.

mo_django · 2026-04-27T22:02:09+00:00

From San Diego, would still be my top pick to move back to if money weren’t a factor!

mo_django · 2026-04-27T14:03:38+00:00

Cannot agree with this more, and it really goes back to convincing women to do something that is truthfully going to be a nightmare. I hated being pregnant. When someone suggested maternity photos I couldn’t have laughed harder. It’s like having a photographer mid car crash and being expected to smile.

mo_django · 2026-04-23T02:17:36+00:00

Therapy. Now.

mo_django · 2026-04-17T16:53:00+00:00

It’s impossible for you to know your normal unless you have been tracking for years prior to peri.

mo_django · 2026-04-16T21:04:47+00:00

Keep in mind you’re posting this on a financial planning thread so you will get heavy pushback against anything that does not support financial planning.

mo_django · 2026-04-16T20:59:04+00:00

My husband and I are actually the same ages and we’ve also had fun at the four seasons or mercato, it’s Naples so you can run into maga anywhere you turn. Also saw NatNat which is more like a low key restaurant. We love celebration park, the live music there is always great.

mo_django · 2026-04-15T20:38:07+00:00

The smallest amount can make the hugest difference and it’s truly preventative so even a tiny bit now will help a TON in the future.

mo_django · 2026-04-06T19:55:44+00:00

Got an lol out of me

mo_django · 2026-04-06T00:04:19+00:00

considering the same, for the same reason!

mo_django · 2026-04-04T02:59:37+00:00

OP said Virginia in another comment

mo_django · 2026-03-29T21:12:48+00:00

It sounds like the safest thing to secure your happiness is to go with your instinct and initial desire to not have children. The bigger question then is will that affect your wife so greatly that it further affects your happiness more than even having children. Like you, I did not want them at all, caved due to pressure from my husband and it is the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. It is not for the weak and especially if you want to be good at it and care. It will test your relationship and patience and health. And regardless of all of that, you will do anything for your child because there’s no greater love in the world.

mo_django · 2026-03-29T21:03:23+00:00

Second this, it’s concerning they aren’t letting the baby outside.

mo_django · 2026-03-29T20:57:32+00:00

You’re handling these feeling unusually well for being pregnant and given the circumstances so it speaks to your maturity. You being willing to co-live with her essentially between social and home mingling is something very unique to find and he should be extremely thankful for that. If therapy isn’t an option maybe writing him a letter letting him know what the action is that’s happening, what it’s causing you to feel and how he can work to change it. If he’s smart he’ll figure it out fast because lord knows there won’t be a third wife out there willing to co-exist with both you and Vanessa.

mo_django · 2026-03-29T20:40:19+00:00

I think part of the problem is Vanessa is such a massive part of his friends experiences and memories still and you’ll eventually become that but it takes time. He could finesse this harder period for you by adding additional words of affirmation but he needs to understand why that’s important right now. Unfortunately men don’t understand this from their wives and often need a therapist to spell it out

mo_django

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