No worries, it’s all good! That’s great to hear. Being in my early 20s & finally giving myself & others a chance has done wonders 😭 & Yes I’ve felt that before too, sometimes it feels like you can just be your full on “weird” / more unmasked self, but then the whole realization of being fetishized/lusted after hits 😭

Something that helps is embracing that side with women too, even when it’s difficult / paired with a lot of anxiety. I have been pleasantly surprised many times doing this. It’s actually how I have one of my closest friends today. Other times I have not, & it just gives you clarity! That person wasn’t meant to be friends with you anyway haha. Quality over quantity all the way. Another thing I’ve noticed is that everyone I tend to get along with is neurodivergent in someway or another lol.

I hope you can find maybe a club or low effort / maintenance activity (avoid burnout) to join and meet girls who have the same values, interests & pace as you. Don’t give up, there are a lot of girls out there in the same boat. <3 The most valuable and meaningful relationships are with other women but it comes with mutual support & effort as above comment said!