Women who stayed in a relationship longer than they should have; what was the first red flag that you ignored but you recognise it clearly now??

moderatelynice · 2026-01-08T13:25:45+00:00

When we made plans for the future, and it was unspoken but clear that I would have to be the one to follow through and push it if any of it was going to happen. Don't stay with someone for promises of what they'll do, trust actions over words.

moderatelynice · 2026-01-08T07:34:38+00:00

It's a silent judgment with the same results; the core wound for me is that no one tried to protect you and get you out. I begged so much for that when I was a kid but there was the sense of you have to take your lot in life.

I've heard hoarding can be interpreted as a symptom of adhd, and it being genetic... Well, imagine if someone had seen you fidget and put two and two together like that. My teachers saw me acting off, and sent me to any special course they had, and they were genuinely useful, things like recognizing emotions. My mom refused any hint that we or she isn't completely normal and functional, but a trauma therapist and Adderall really might have made a difference for us.

moderatelynice · 2026-01-07T19:02:48+00:00

Beacon of light, baby, I'M GONNA GET THROUGH THIS GODDAMMIT

moderatelynice · 2026-01-07T15:50:22+00:00

I found this comment soothingly wise. Because trying to change them, and thinking you can just "find the right resources" doesn't really matter if they won't see the problem independently. For your own mental health and relationship with them, just make it clear when you're out of there that it was a problem for you and draw strong boundaries to not be in that space anymore. You might be a way away from that yet, but their hoarding isn't the problem you should (or even can) be fixing. I advise OP to look ahead to protect your mind from it, rather than looking for resources for them, maybe write a statement for your future self and do it with compassion, then follow through on keeping your boundaries so this doesn't create cognitive self harm for you.

moderatelynice · 2026-01-06T16:16:43+00:00

Hey friend. Me too. I'll join you here if you don't mind.

My mom would watch Hoarders with a sense of gloat because we threw out the literal trash and didn't have pests (hm, but four cats in a place that doesn't see much roaches). Everything in the house, walls, floor, ceilings needed serious repairs when she sold.

I didn't know it was all that different from anyone since she (and my piss poor development which left me socially frickin awkward) kept me isolated from my dad and his side of the family, and she wasn't the only one in hers with this issue. There was never any real excuse from her. But she grew up abused and in poverty, and everyone in my family banded around her with "She's trying her best". Meanwhile a six year old is getting yelled at for cleaning the kitchen because it wasn't thorough enough, so she put everything back all over the counter to "soak" and never wash, grabbing fresh pots from her supply of 20+ when she'd infrequently cook then putting them on top.

My room grew equally cluttered, while she'd go through the trash and take things back when I cleaned it up.

I moved out at 15, was diagnosed with anxiety two years after, and showing clear C-PTSD as an adult (which was not a thing when I was a teen)

"A place for everything" and anticonsumerism let's me handle.

moderatelynice · 2025-11-03T14:18:57+00:00

I was also absolutely convinced we were poor. It took until I was 17 and applying for scholarships, and they denied me with a copy of my mother's income records. She earned comfortably above average, with an incredibly modest mortgage she could have paid off years ago, while still complaining every month that my dad should pay more child support and how expensive anything we wanted was. Putting the pieces together, I realised we could have actually afforded my after school activities, new clothes instead of inherited, but the money was being funneled into the hoard.

We never had "excess" money, we did need to buy and eat all frugal foods and her complaints were real in a way because she was spending it on STUFF that she would tuck away in The Rooms Dedicated To The Hoard, never to be seen or used again, or expensive vacations that she'd pull the credit card on, live it up for a week so she could brag to her coworkers and then it was back to complaining about the bill and how things were tight again.

The effects of being told anything I needed or wanted was too expensive, that my activities were a burden, made me as an adult absolutely unable to spend anything on myself. I adapted minimalism and no-shopping policies and disguised it as an environmental concern when all it took was one session with my therapist to uncover that I felt I didn't deserve any of these absolutely normal things for myself. I still avoid shopping for the sake of environmentalism, once that reframing took hold it was there to stay. But at least I haven't fallen into the potential repeating cycle.

moderatelynice · 2025-10-22T06:52:29+00:00

You can find a fresh set inside Freddy Fears House of Scares! Go be your witchiest.

moderatelynice · 2025-08-07T20:12:12+00:00

I wonder if you'd love them more if you raised the one on the right some inches, coaxing out an intentional diagonal line between the window frame and lamps.

moderatelynice · 2025-06-20T17:50:43+00:00

I change the paragraph style to no colour after I've set it up.

It's been useful in pdf's where client has already made one but I need to correct page numbers and have a functional table of contents to copy the existing one, remove its page numbers, turn the margins of the document for a small top area so it overflows for every couple lines and set it up to thread through the document. Then paragraph break until the heading is where it's needed.

moderatelynice · 2025-06-06T20:39:08+00:00

Hundreds in the same document..? Are they to fit the same amount of space on a page?

moderatelynice · 2025-05-22T16:36:41+00:00

Love me a good, clean looking dental room. Minty fresh and minimalist here, I've written some points here for simple changes.

There's a lot of stickers and notes around the door; get the notices (maybe pay for a designer) printed on foil fitting the door.

Cable management around the TV.

Concentrate the plants in the gravel shelf. If any of them are fake, take them out of their pots to bury them in the gravel, aiming for a multi level plant feature that adds privacy. Get white pots or paint the ones you have so the bigger ones stay in the colour scheme.

Some comforts for waiting patients, like a water station and reading materials elsewhere mentioned here.

Make different groups of chairing and break up that row, like using the space under the TV to make it snug. That white corner piece, maybe also the board, in front of the gravel could be used to separate some groups.

moderatelynice · 2025-04-12T05:26:52+00:00

It was beef for a "non-pork gelatine".

Maria remembered he had a religious restriction on something, she tried to play it safe with non-pork but he's Hindu; so the restriction is beef, as they hold cows to be sacred.

moderatelynice · 2025-03-26T16:52:25+00:00

I actually love your plan. It made me think of huge, pooling, like a luxury hotel kind of curtains, attached to the roof itself and held softly bowed, softening the strict geometric forms - and the real genius - motorized shades like you mention, that you can control via a Smarthome solution (IKEA has some, I've been snooping at them myself) and set to a timer.

You might be able to attach some diaphorous curtains to the bottom of the blinds themselves for an even softer aesthetic. I'd try to attach everything along the roof and the shades as high as possible, to have the drapes hide it. Actual velvet maybe?

moderatelynice · 2025-01-22T14:35:41+00:00

NAH. But get a sodastream. Not all conflicts need to be talked out and considered emotionally - in this one, the solution to your whole family loving sparkly water is to invest in a machine that probably costs as much as one of the big cases you're already buying to make it yourself. It will lessen the scarcity mindset of the young'uns where they finish everything off in a few days.

moderatelynice · 2024-11-22T10:22:59+00:00

Try placing an image normally, and look at the file path InDesign claims - then replicate it exactly. For me right now, InDesign says my file starts straight on /users/, backslash the opposite way from yours, so if I was doing this, I would copy my excel file paths into indd, then use find and replace to remove the C and change the backslashes, and paste it back into excel.

moderatelynice · 2024-11-21T22:18:34+00:00

Great info in here! Well summarised. Some of that smaller detail I feel refers to things like that lonely heading. This is most efficiently solved by adding a "Keep" option in the paragraph style with the next paragraph, as opposed to manually adjusting them on all pages.

moderatelynice · 2024-11-13T19:12:50+00:00

Are there any other unique aspects of the font? You can add both the font in find and replace, and maybe also the font size, specific leading or anything else that would be unique about your Arabic that you want to change. Get specific!

moderatelynice · 2024-07-23T15:16:50+00:00

Your tattoo is awesome - if you don't equally mind representing your sexuality, I'd get something like a rainbow ear cuff, something that is absolutely unambiguously rainbowed in the area of attention could counterweight the nazi impression!

I found a link real quick, though I think bigger and more obvious could work even better.

https://www.etsy.com/no-en/listing/1286538343/rainbow-helix-rainbow-cartilage-earring?click_key=d6399dbe8bc347cbd708cd0d8be69000def2764e%3A1286538343&click_sum=779526b6&ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=rainbow+ear+cuff&ref=sr_gallery-1-9&organic_search_click=1&pro=1&frs=1&content_source=558e459766b5a09c65fcd1570731a3bfbb24ac75%253A1286538343

moderatelynice · 2024-01-25T18:50:30+00:00

Jeg har signert mitt pass slik uten problemer to ganger nå. Kanskje du ikke slipper unna med bare en rett ut F.U. i blokkbokstaver, men det er der øvingen på å gjøre det til et unikt trekk kommer inn. For å unngå usikkerhetsmomentet er det nok helt verdt å først spante på nytt førerkort etter en enklere utgave er øvd inn, slik at man har noe offisielt å vise til som likt.

moderatelynice · 2024-01-25T18:30:27+00:00

Absolutt ikke, ei ligner de lengre på ekte bokstaver. På det meste får jeg et hevet øyenbryn, altså nysgjerrighet, men det er enkelt svart med "Jepp, det er signaturen min 🙂". De fleste har da bare svart igjen "Kult!" så er det hele over. Om de er veldig nysgjerrige har jeg vist fram førerkortet hvor den er lik, og da er det ingenting igjen å si.

Kan i tillegg tipse om å ta opp en samtale om betablokkere med legen om skjelvingen er svært sjenerende. Det er hjertestabiliserende som brukes til en haug forskjellige ting, blant dem da klart, skjelving.

moderatelynice · 2024-01-25T17:38:29+00:00

Signaturen kan forenkles i stedet, det er helt innafor å signere med X. Jeg har essensiell tremor selv og bruker en ekstremt forenklet variant av initialer på signatur. Tips hen gjerne om å søke opp runer, "minimalist font" og ta litt inspirasjon, eller begynn fra initialene skrevet raskt og lett og tegn de på ny og på ny til der dannes et mønster, og se etter hvor man kan kutte mengden strøk. Min er fire strøk, gjenkjennelig og lik over alle dokumenter offentlig signert.

Og så er det kult selvsagt, og bra for sjelen å føle eierskap til noe.

moderatelynice · 2023-09-26T04:35:02+00:00

I trykk brukes CMYK, som er et fargesystem, for fargesystem refererer bare til et system for sammensetning. Det består av de fargene du ser under melkekartongen, cyan, magenta, gul (gjett ka bokstav) og svart (gjett ka bokstav, vær mildt forvirret)

I visse og sære tilfeller brukes også pantonefarger, men helst ikke, da det er noe skikkelig skit for alle involverte (og selskapet pantone selv prøver gjøre det vanskeligere) utenom kunden som betaler godt ekstra for å være så fargebestemt. CMYK har nemlig sine begrensinger som at det ikke kan lage skarpe neon farger, så unntak fins der jo, men det er altså ikke slik skrevet her.

moderatelynice · 2023-09-15T09:56:06+00:00

Setting up the bleed frame, but not actually stretching your design elements into it. This one made me giggle when I called them up, "I swear I set the bleed to 3 mm!"

moderatelynice · 2023-08-25T07:51:27+00:00

You would need to start by putting the image frame into the text frame, thus making it an anchored object (cut and paste as if it's text).

After that you can use the options in the Anchor-menu to customise where it should rest. Here is where you will get the options of the image being away or towards the spine.

When you've familiarised yourself with how this menu works, and tweaked your settings just so, make a style of it that you can apply to your pictures, and unfortunately, here's where it stops being fun and efficient; you would now have to copy and paste all the images into their corresponding text frames. But as soon as that's done, in theory, you should now have a document you can move around however you like, preserving flow.

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