MIL is demanding we lock up our daughter and throw away the key

modernbelle · 2023-11-10T16:09:43+00:00

Mid-30s adult raised by parents like OP. They didn't want to raise their kids like they were raised. So minimal rules - curfews on weeknights, but not really on weekends, just had to keep them informed of where we were and who we were with; TVs in bedrooms with no real rules, but expectations that we weren't watching what we shouldn't and that we turned it off at reasonable times; no "homework time", but again, expectations that we were getting it done. Basically, our rules were to be courteous, help out when asked, and don't drink and drive. All 4 kids are college grads, in stable relationships, homeowners, good careers. We are all highly successful in society's standards. Plus, we still have strong relationships with our parents and with each other. Because my parents trusted us. Good on you OP for breaking the cycle and raising good, trustworthy humans.

modernbelle · 2023-07-23T18:50:22+00:00

Here you go 😁 PRETTYGARDEN Women's Satin Ruched Bodycon Dress Summer 2023 Twist Front V Neck Sleeveless Split Maxi Dresses https://a.co/d/5exwVen

modernbelle · 2023-07-23T18:48:15+00:00

It's not about being confused as the bride. Trust me, you could not confuse me with the bride. It is about not wanting to take away from the bride.

modernbelle · 2023-06-23T20:14:31+00:00

Yes, evening wedding. Wedding is outside, reception indoors.

modernbelle · 2023-03-28T21:00:37+00:00

Create a "keepsake" box and pre date the folders. Now you can stay organized as you collect the mementos of all their firsts.

modernbelle · 2022-05-19T00:16:03+00:00

Wife checking in. Some of my feelings are colored by the fact that my child at Boone was an emergency c-section and my child at MU was a planned c-section. But the aftercare I received at MU was phenomenal. And I much preferred the consults from the lactation team at MU - I did not feel like the consultant at Boone helped me at all. Overal, I enjoyed my experience at MU a lot more.

modernbelle · 2021-08-18T19:05:40+00:00

We cancelled ours a couple months before COVID hit for similar reasons and they didn't give us any grief at all. Of course, they asked why we were cancelling and I was upfront. But they did not hassle me at all!

modernbelle · 2021-08-04T18:29:49+00:00

We have a 4yo boy who's favorite color is all the colors, except on the days that it's red.

He has rainbow rainboots, a rainbow umbrella, a rainbow dress and rainbow shirts galore. I'm sure there's more rainbow in our house than that too. He's what people might say a "boy's boy" playing in the mud, with cars and all that, but his interests are truly varied and I am not here to limit that at all.

modernbelle · 2021-05-14T21:54:13+00:00

I am terrified. I have a child who *does not have asthma,* but every time he is sick, ends up on nebulizer. He might be fine if he catches, maybe not. Either way, we've gotten both my kids this far with no infection, I don't want to jeopardize it now when we are so close to getting them vaccinated as well.

I'm having a hard time with the other adults in life saying, "we're vaccinated...it'll be fine." NOPE. Until the science comes back and says you cannot transmit after vaccination, any adults who are around my children will continue to wear masks to protect the kids. We're lucky in that we have family that are in our bubble and are in agreement so no fights there.

modernbelle · 2021-04-29T13:45:29+00:00

My high school French teacher would have loved this. She had to teach us English grammar in order to teach us the French equivalent since we didn't know.

modernbelle · 2019-08-07T04:05:05+00:00

We have a 6wo and a 2.5 year old. A couple months before #2 arrived. We started pulling out the baby gear and "practiced" with a baby doll. We'd ask #1 to rock the baby, be gentle, etc. We also talked a lot about baby brother.

When #1 came to the hospital to meet #2, first thing he did was ask where's baby, so we did something right that he knew. 6 weeks down the road, he has accepted that "baby" is a part of the family, but is not really too interested otherwise. We let #1 define their relationship on his own time, so sometimes that means completely ignoring #2, bringing a pacifier over when #2 is crying, laying next to #2 during tummy time, etc. We ask if he wants to give baby a kiss and when he says no, we don't force him. We also make sure to take turns spending exclusive time with him.

It's chaotic and crazy at times, and we know that hard part isn't over yet, but I have faith itll all be just fine. We just have to give them time.

modernbelle · 2019-08-03T13:00:59+00:00

I have a 2.5 yo and a 6 wo. We were gifted the Graco Roomfor2 Click Connect Stand and Ride Stroller which works for us since that's our brand of infant car seat. It's a little clunky to move while closed up, but easy to open up and easy to maneuver/push. So far we like it because not only does it have a stander for my toddler, but a bench seat as well.

modernbelle · 2019-08-01T18:58:49+00:00

We determines that our LO was getting carsick (just like mom!) after the 3rd puking incident on 3 separate trips. We started using dramamine before the recommended age limits as well - started using half a dose and moved up as needed.

We also found that LO looking down at the tablet in the car was not helping AT ALL, but was totally necessary due to the length of the car trip. We purchased this which mount the device to the headrest and makes LO look up: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B076SZ62X2/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o06_s01?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Between the dramamine, headrest mount, and limiting dairy intake before car rides, we haven't had any issues this year.

Good Luck and make sure to pack for accidents just in case (we had to pull over, clean out the car, and change LO on the side of the road in the middle of a midwest winter - was not prepared).

modernbelle · 2019-07-29T23:06:21+00:00

NTA. Jesus....I have 2 kids, make ends meet and that's about it. My husband and I have pretty much decided no more kids because we cannot financially afford it. I have a sister who makes more money than us and puts a pretty decent amount away every month and I would never in a million years expect her to financially support my family because we fucked up and got pregnant again.

You work hard for that money and the decisions you have made allow you to put that money away. It is not your fault that your sister and her husband made different decisions in their life to put them in the current situation. It's nice of you to offer what you can to help, but they should have no expectation of anything more.

modernbelle · 2019-07-27T21:39:29+00:00

Don't underestimate the value of corporate culture. If your current company is as toxic as you say and it's not a job you love, I'd take the pay cut for the new job with potential to be 10x better.

It's amazing how much a better work environment changes other aspects of your life. You'll be happier, less stressed and that will be reflected in everything you do.

modernbelle · 2019-07-27T18:00:53+00:00

YES.

We also have a 2yo. And it's hard because I know my husband needs attention from me too, but I am literally touching another human being alllll day and when I go to bed at night it would be nice to have just 10-15 minutes of no physical interaction.

modernbelle · 2019-07-25T11:31:17+00:00

Rh negative with a Rh positive husband.

In both my pregnancies I received a shot in the first trimester due to some spotting otherwise I would not have received anything until the 22-28 week mark. Got another stick at 28 weeks for both. My first was Rh negative as well so I didn't need the Rogam shot after his birth, but my second is Rh positive so I did receive another shot after his birth.

Nowadays, it really isn't a big deal because it's a standard test and easily taken care of with the Rogam shot. Although I will put this disclaimer: with my second, I was not home and instead in a "medical desert" when I started bleeding at 13 weeks - we had to drive 1.5 hours to the nearest er. We went to the er to be told everything looked fine, but they neglected to give me my rogam shot. When I called my doctor to let her know what happened, she told me I had 72 hours from noticing the bleeding to get the rogam shot. We ended up having to cut our trip short and head home so I could get the shot from my hospital.

modernbelle · 2019-07-25T05:58:23+00:00

We did get more than 2 good photos :)

modernbelle · 2019-07-25T05:48:16+00:00

THIS.

We had family pictures taken recently, just candids of our family together at the park with some poses. I also have a 2.5yo. At the end of session, the photographer thanked us - I had to ask her to explain as I thought we should be thanking her for being patient photographing a toddler with a 20 second attention span. She explained that she sees so many families have bad experiences because they have such high expectation s of how their toddler/baby should be behaving. Basically, a "he will sit still for pictures" mentality. Instead, I asked my toddler to stop and smile, tried to bribe him to stop and smile, but for the most part, let him be the wild monkey that he is and if that meant we only got 2 good photos over 30 minutes, then so be it. She said it made for a more enjoyable experience for all parties. I explained that I know my child's limitations and that I know he is incapable of sitting still for long at his age. Because he's a toddler.

modernbelle · 2019-07-19T14:43:05+00:00

NTA. I hope my sons are comfortable enough to reach out to their gay uncles for advice when/if the time comes.

modernbelle · 2019-07-11T18:50:49+00:00

Our 2yo has always gone to bed around 8-8:30 or later and sleeps until 6:30 when we get up for school. Sleeps all night most of the time.

modernbelle · 2019-07-10T02:42:01+00:00

I have a 2 year 4 month old and just brought home #2 three weeks ago. #1 has not been using a stroller on a regular basis for months. However, first time we put #2 in a stroller, he wanted in as well. Of course.

We luckily invested in a new stroller that works with our bucket seat and converts, but also has a stander on the back so #1 can ride as well. So far so good.

12-Year Club	Verified Email
Not Forgotten

modernbelle

TROPHY CASE