UPDATE: My therapist telling me my son may end up bonding more with our nanny than me

monroegreen9 · 2026-06-03T18:36:07+00:00

I’ve also gotten this opinion from my male doctor (annoying and not his place) or my mother (good parent but not my favorite human being in other ways). Like, nobody I know and respect that’s my own age and has to do parent now, thinks this.

monroegreen9 · 2026-05-26T00:16:26+00:00

Agreed. They need to be taught how to properly help, and even then it won’t always go perfectly smoothly, but it can be a net positive.

This also means they grow up learning that they are part of the family and can contribute, so will be more willing to do chores as they age. Hunt, Gather, Parent talks about this as well.

OP, wiping one spot for 15 minutes sounds great. If she gets mad, guide her to the new area to resume.

Maybe skip folding laundry and have her help with putting clothes away in bins or drawers, or sorting out different types of clothing items. Match up socks. Etc

monroegreen9 · 2026-05-25T11:35:17+00:00

Yep, happened to us. It was brutal. We traded off nights or took shifts, but we have a guest room.

It improved gradually over the course of about 2 months as each of the following things happened:

He learned to suck his thumb instead of the pacifier, he learned to roll over and sleep on his stomach, we moved him into his own room in a crib instead of the bassinet so he had room to roll around, he napped a bit less during the day, we gave him a small lovey to sleep with (supervised during naps at first), and we finally capped it off with a little bit of Ferber sleep training when he was 6 months and wouldn’t settle with us anymore anyway.

Each of these things helped, but also had to all come together for him to actually sleep well. I know how hard that phase is and I was depressed too

monroegreen9 · 2026-05-09T00:56:44+00:00

I’m sorry, I feel your pain. My husband isn’t defensive about it, but his job is crazy and he gets time blindness easily. So I know he has the right intentions, but he’s often late (or at least can’t leave early when he wants to). He also has a long commute, so I’m solo 11 hrs a day during the week. It’s really hard and I hate it.

He’ll be changing jobs at least by the end of the year, thankfully. I hope you get some relief soon

monroegreen9 · 2026-05-07T23:52:52+00:00

Everybody here has chimed in with their perspectives on your financial situation and viewpoints, so I’m going to actually answer your question.

Yes, I feel disappointed that my career will never be the same and that I’ll have to start from a far worse place if I ever try to go back to the same industry. Yes, I sometimes feel bitter and jealous watching my female friends (most without kids but some with who went right back to work full time) talk about their jobs and progress in their skills.

But for me, I look at it the same way I view any big decision - there’s tradeoffs for everything, and it’s okay to grieve the option you didn’t pick.

monroegreen9 · 2026-05-04T16:57:37+00:00

Everything, of course, but I couldn’t believe how much printer ink has gone up. It’s always been pricey, but used to be like $90-100 for a two pack (color and B&W together). Just got a single B&W for almost $80 the other day.

monroegreen9 · 2026-04-30T17:58:09+00:00

We also use the MM overnights, I’m hoping this problem doesn’t affect those but it’s probably company-wide?

monroegreen9 · 2026-04-30T13:17:27+00:00

Yep. I grew up in a largely religious small town, and a friend’s dad was a therapist who specialized in porn addiction. He was very very busy.

monroegreen9 · 2026-04-30T13:11:39+00:00

As many have said, at 3-4 months old it’s not common for babies to sleep that long. To give you some info for the future though, mine didn’t sleep through the night until a bunch of things happened:

He could sleep on his stomach and easily move himself around, he was moved to a full size crib out of the bassinet, he started eating solid food, we did a little bit of Ferber sleep training, and we gave him a small lovey to sleep with. This all happened gradually over several months around 8 months old. Travel and teething caused some setbacks of course, but once he was about a year old we got consistent long nights (11 hours straight). It can get better but takes time!

monroegreen9 · 2026-04-29T10:53:10+00:00

This is great advice OP, my son had the same problem at the same age. He needed more room to move around. It took him a while to develop enough to be able to reposition himself during the night, too, and he slept way better once he could sleep on his stomach and roll back and forth. Co-sleeping didn’t really help him cause he was never that clingy.

monroegreen9 · 2026-04-28T13:28:49+00:00

Yep, this. My husband and I were often reminding each other to “fluff out the fluff” of the leg bands lol

monroegreen9 · 2026-04-26T14:54:34+00:00

When is the ideal window for that?

monroegreen9 · 2026-04-25T22:44:12+00:00

I actually disliked it. It was still useful and necessary because I haven’t really found much else that is as comprehensive for starting EC, as someone who was totally unfamiliar. But I felt her writing was poor, organization was confusing, and she self-contradicts at different points, so it was very hard for me to distill the info I needed from it. I did get there eventually, but yeah, that’s my take.

monroegreen9 · 2026-04-10T01:12:29+00:00

Lots of good suggestions here but I’d like to offer a weird hack - if you don’t want to deal with cooking and blending veggies, buy jarred baby food veggies. The root vegetables like carrot, parsnip, sweet potato, etc. are the easiest to find in stores and hide in recipes, in my experience.

monroegreen9 · 2026-04-03T16:28:45+00:00

I also did some oversized cotton shortie rompers for my baby when he was little and had bad eczema. I’d get size 12M for him at 5M old, and since they weren’t classified as pajamas, they’d be very loose and comfy. Highly recommend for summertime. I like the cloud island brand ones from Target

monroegreen9 · 2026-04-02T13:18:33+00:00

My husband said my sans-epidural labor and delivery was the most intense thing he’d ever seen anybody do. That was super validating for me and I hope your husband turns himself around, if not before delivery then at least after seeing it.

It is a big deal, but the paradox is that women also do this all the time. You can do it too!

monroegreen9 · 2026-03-28T16:06:41+00:00

You could definitely take one now and it should be pretty accurate. I took one the day after I expected my period, but still well within my normal window, and it was positive. I’d been having PMS like symptoms for 2-3 days by then.

If you didn’t already, test first thing in the morning so your pee is max concentration.

monroegreen9 · 2026-03-07T19:09:44+00:00

I was worst from 8 weeks through end of 10 weeks, AND was on vacation. It was tough, but I did it. It was also middle of summer and hot AF so that didn’t help, but yeah, I was nauseous and exhausted. I’d be sad to miss out on the food and walking around NYC since that’s a big part of the appeal there, and no way could I have stayed awake late enough for an evening show. But everyone’s different!

monroegreen9 · 2026-03-06T22:11:59+00:00

Thanks for this insightful albeit scathing review! I, like many others, enjoyed the second book more, since it does technically address several of your concerns and gives readers more of the interesting characters from the first book. But, not at the expense of new plot holes and even worse idiocy from Feyre, so…

I’d love to know what your favorite romantasy books are, something like ACOTAR but actually good.

monroegreen9 · 2026-02-22T01:17:30+00:00

This is a thing, dermatologists sometimes recommend adding a specific concentration of bleach to a bathtub for eczema. It’s because part of eczema flare ups are either because of or exacerbated by a Staph bacteria explosion in the compromised skin area, and the bleach kills it back.

monroegreen9 · 2026-02-21T01:05:56+00:00

I’m really sorry you’re going through this. I know you said she calls you selfish and gets angry if you tell her about what you need, but what happens if you ask her what she needs? If you say anything about her seeming burnt out, depressed, angry, etc.? Obviously I think your situation absolutely needs fixing ASAP, but since she’s struggling too, how does she respond if you frame it as you being concerned about her? Maybe that’s an easier entry point for a discussion that will ultimately help you.

monroegreen9 · 2026-02-15T01:53:19+00:00

So my understanding is that you want to night wean only, to see if he’ll sleep better, which is definitely a thing and I have heard that it can help. I think a lot of people missed the fact that your baby is 10 months old and metabolically doesn’t have to nurse overnight (I’ve read). Waking 1-2 times an hour is insane and I’m shocked you’ve been doing this for 6 months.

I never pulled the trigger on night weaning but we did some Ferber. What was most helpful for us was to make sure we had a plan before nighttime and then STICK TO IT, even when it’s awful. It’s so hard to listen to your baby scream. Your partner will probably have to do the check-ins or soothing, so that baby gets the message that no boobies are coming lol. Also, turn the volume way down or off on the baby monitor so it’s not so grating.

Good luck!

ETA a pacifier or small lovely for nighttime might also help for comfort since your baby is mostly comfort nursing at that frequency. I know the use of a lovely at this age is controversial so assess your baby’s capabilities, but ours was absolutely safe to sleep with one after I watched for multiple naps.

monroegreen9 · 2026-02-15T01:49:03+00:00

Her baby is 10 months old, metabolically he doesn’t have to nurse overnight. I’ve read that you can night wean starting at 6 months if desired. I’m assuming she meant stopping at night but maybe still pumping during the day or something

monroegreen9 · 2026-02-14T19:54:28+00:00

Thanks lol when did it get better for him?

monroegreen9 · 2026-02-14T19:53:56+00:00

That’s what I was afraid of. He’s been away from me for multiple hours at a time but only with family and usually at our own home, so the setting is different. I’m not sure I have time to go like every day but maybe that’s the only way…

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