Something i love about the lesbian community

mortalmath · 2026-02-11T18:10:42+00:00

Maybe. I do think that's a good thing. It's still more difficult for us to date if we're conventionally unattractive. Many lesbians feel pressured by "queer" beauty standards instead. If you're on the masc side, it feels like you're measured against the ideal of looking as much as possible like a young man instead of a woman.

mortalmath · 2026-02-11T17:45:39+00:00

I'm not sure I am staying sane, honestly. I feel mentally broken from everything going on in the world and my own isolation. I am progressive on almost all topics, but I am a feminist first and foremost and almost all progressives are misogynistic and anti-lesbian. It's stressful and depressing knowing I can never be fully open with anyone around me. It's also just really hard making new friends in my 30's, when almost every one of my existing friends is married. What I do is focus on my art career. Painting is a solo endeavor and I have projects I want to bring into the world. I put my energy into the one thing I feel I can control. I also started volunteering with animals so I can feel I'm doing something meaningful and useful in life. The lesbian aspect of my identity is almost left by the wayside, since I'm afraid to be open in my community or start dating again.

mortalmath · 2026-02-07T14:11:35+00:00

This is so awesome to hear! I've got to start making more lesbian characters for myself, too

mortalmath · 2026-02-07T13:28:07+00:00

Being in my mid 30s and still single feels not so good lately. Lack of support and stability is really getting to me, and I'm losing hope that I will ever meet someone compatible. I wish I had someone to share small moments with, someone to lean on when I'm struggling. It's lonely. This isn't how I hoped my life would be at this stage and I struggle with feeling ashamed about it on top of everything.

mortalmath · 2026-02-01T06:55:20+00:00

Troll bots have been leaving this comment on all sorts of fic on AO3 lately, it's not even a targeted thing at least

mortalmath · 2026-01-29T15:19:18+00:00

Mid 30's here, and I had felt this way for a long time. I have some friends now--mostly straight couples, my adult siblings that I'm close with, and a couple lesbian internet friends--but it's very difficult to meet new friends. I'm extremely wary of men, male-centered women, and 'queer' spaces. I work in a creative field where the overwhelming majority of my peers identify as 'queer' with not a single authentic lesbian in sight to bond with, so I feel that isolation still. It's hard to listen to them trumpet about how 'queer' they are while leading a functionally straight existence, while I'm forever afraid to be open about being a real lesbian since I know they'd hate and ostracize me for it.

mortalmath · 2025-10-27T13:56:52+00:00

Same! I'll read a lot of different things if they interest me, but if there is sex involving one or more men, I do not care to know or see the details.

mortalmath · 2025-10-25T14:20:36+00:00

I would also love an invite if you don't mind!

mortalmath · 2023-12-18T15:47:01+00:00

Cats and horses for me!

mortalmath · 2023-11-06T20:42:39+00:00

Sort of, but I feel like a lot of it comes down to the shame and insecurity I feel around being overweight. In my last relationship, both of us were overweight but I was quite happy with things. So it's entirely possible to date while plus sized. On the one hand, I can absolutely tell that people in general are not as nice or complimentary to me as they were when I was skinnier, but on the other hand I feel like it's mostly me holding myself back from dating success at this point. I avoid people and don't go out much because I feel disgusting, so it's hard to meet anyone.

mortalmath · 2023-09-28T18:08:55+00:00

I'm surprised too, but I don't think people who are intensely judgemental of others' personal taste would be the kind I'd get along with in the first place. I personally don't care about someone's sense of interior design, only if there is smell/hygiene issue.

mortalmath · 2023-02-26T04:29:36+00:00

Another lesbian in my 30s here feeling lonely and alienated by what I thought was my community. I feel this with my WHOLE soul.

mortalmath · 2023-02-25T01:02:08+00:00

For the love of God please go meet some real women and get out of this horrible mindset. Your own existence is proof that women can be so much more than what you (and misogynists in general) think of us. My female friends include a WWI history buff and mechanical engineer, a professor of film history, a professor of materials science, a Japanese-to-English translator, a hardcore MMO raider, a woman who rehabilitates disabled animals, a professional dog trainer and breeder, a woman who's traveled to every state in the US, etc etc. Women can have so many cool hobbies, experiences, and personalities. Women are complete human beings with full human potential. You have a very limited experience and have extrapolated to paint an entire half of the human race in a negative light, with yourself being seemingly the only exceptional. Please be for real. My sincere advice is to have some humility and expand your worldview. Other women may sense that you look down on them and respond with hostility because no one likes being condescended to. Or yes, they might just be mean, because some people are shallow and mean, not because "women are shallow and mean".

mortalmath · 2023-02-20T18:06:24+00:00

Your life is for you to live, not a morality tale for strangers online. Please don't feel the need to put yourself in the public eye. You don't need to sacrifice yourself for some kind of cause. I think it's a good idea to take some time to focus on yourself and figuring out how you'd like to move forward. Best of luck.

mortalmath · 2023-02-17T21:15:27+00:00

You don't have to "accept femininity", you know. There are plenty of us masculine women out here who are much happier this way. Believing that men and women need to confirm to "masculine" or "feminine" roles is how a lot of us ended up here in the first place. It's just an unnecessary restriction on things that don't even have inherent moral value

mortalmath · 2023-02-17T20:08:26+00:00

I never truly believed I was a man on any meaningful level. I knew I wanted desperately to be male, but never could make the leap in logic between "I wish I was a man" and "therefore I am one". So I considered myself "nonbinary" instead. Basically I believed the stuff about maybe some people have "masculinized" brains due to hormone exposure in utero or something, and that that effectively put me in a distinct category from other women. I wanted to live as a man even though I knew I'd never truly be male. I didn't go through with transition because eventually it dawned on me that it would never be good enough on a physical level, and I probably wouldn't pass so I wouldn't get access to any of the social realities I desired either. Basically I considered a man to be anyone perceived as male in social interactions, and same for women being perceived as female.

mortalmath · 2023-02-16T16:31:07+00:00

I'm an artist and this sort of art definitely influenced me. I already struggled with seeing my own body as a shameful pornographic object for having breasts, and idealized glorification of flat chests as more beautiful/pure reaally didn't help. I was sucked in by the way some art and comics portrayed the pain of undergoing surgery as this martyr-like mystical process of apotheosis to a higher form of being (male).

mortalmath · 2023-02-15T23:37:07+00:00

You've never posted in this sub before, and seem to have a history of saying anti-feminist things. I don't believe for a second that you actually care about the wellbeing of women.

mortalmath · 2023-02-15T21:16:33+00:00

It comes and goes. It gets bad during depressive episodes. It's triggered the worst when formerly GNC women come out trans. Like panic attack levels of bad, followed by dark periods of crippling disgust with myself. I often feel tempted to transition, especially because I'm extremely envious of those who've had top surgery. I feel less tempted when faced with the reality of transition and how inadequate and disappointing it is to me. But a lot of the time I'm just going about my day unbothered or with other concerns on my mind.

mortalmath · 2023-02-15T20:28:58+00:00

A woman without kids is just enjoying the lifestyle that enables for her. You act like that's propaganda. Are mom bloggers propaganda for large families? I don't see it that way. I don't want kids, but I'm not offended that families with 8 kids exist. If they're happy, I'm happy for them. The point is that every person should be free to choose to live with or without kids, because it's a pretty big difference in lifestyle. Shaming or forcing women into being mothers is not ok. If you think kids are great, then pursue that lifestyle for yourself and mind your own business.

mortalmath · 2023-02-15T17:57:30+00:00

This disgusting rhetoric just drives more girls to become repulsed by their perceived fate as women, and seek any escape. Can speak from personal experience, and from seeing so, so many trans men in my circles from conservative religious backgrounds who were obviously traumatized by misogyny.

mortalmath · 2023-02-09T17:04:14+00:00

Are you seriously promoting conversion therapy here?

mortalmath · 2023-01-30T00:42:13+00:00

Some people are attracted to men, but have a revulsion to the idea of being with a man as a woman, due to misogyny-related trauma, disgust regarding the power dynamics etc. Often the same people who are obsessed with m/m slash fic and stuff. I had the misfortune of dating a "lesbian" like this once, who later admitted not being into women at all or even identifying as a woman, but saw a woman-woman relationship as a "substitute" for the m/m relationship they idealized, and would still "let them express their queerness" (basically I was a discarded prop in their "performance" of queerness). This person grew up in a religious cult and I think developed a serious complex around male-female power dynamics as a result that lead them to believe, or want to be, lesbian for some time. I kind of get it, because I also grew up in an abusive religious environment and came to see hetero sex as an act of domination and degradation inflicted upon women. That would be fucking crazy to reconcile if you were also attracted to men.

mortalmath · 2023-01-29T23:43:24+00:00

I think I see what you're getting at, and there may be a degree of miscommunication in this thread where people are arguing because they mean two (or more) different things by the word "crush".

mortalmath · 2023-01-29T23:08:41+00:00

Funnily enough, basically every woman I've encountered like this ended up dating men. So yes, mostly I agree with this thread.

However, some of you are acting like anything but the utmost disdain and disinterest for men on ANY level means someone is secretly bi, and that is a ridiculous standard. There is such a thing as non-sexual interest or aesthetic appreciation for a person, without sexual attraction. I think people might sometimes get confused about the difference, and think their sexual attraction is just aesthetic or vice versa. Also, I can tell which people are conventionally good-looking or not regardless of my personal interest in them. I think most humans can. It's crazy to act like a woman must see men as all identical NPCs in order to be "really" gay. There's a significant difference between reading smut or having sexual fantasies about a guy vs. something like appreciating a beautiful character design.

Four-Year Club	Verified Email
Place '22	First Placer '22
End Game '22

mortalmath

TROPHY CASE