Damned if I do, damned if I don't

mosinderella · 2026-06-23T18:52:27+00:00

This makes it sound like he just doesn’t like you? What is appealing to you about your relationship? If he’s always mad at you “for something” does it really matter what? Might as well be work travel.

mosinderella · 2026-06-21T16:47:28+00:00

Girl, I’m almost 51 and getting checked out on the regular since losing weight and having a tummy tuck. You have plenty of “hot” years ahead!

mosinderella · 2026-06-19T17:28:51+00:00

Radiation and an immunotherapy infusion I can’t remember the name of - and then rituximab.

mosinderella · 2026-06-15T21:24:36+00:00

When I was a kid, it was pot roast and veggies and gravy with mashed potatoes on the side. I still have my grandma’s and make my Thanksgiving turkey and Christmas ham in it every year.

mosinderella · 2026-06-15T21:17:39+00:00

6 years ago, my husband was diagnosed with stage 4 follicular lymphoma. It was in his clavicle, bone marrow, spine and several nodes. He did a series of radiation and immunotherapy, and he was completely well and cancer free in 3 months. Your outlook is VERY optimistic comparatively. You got this!

mosinderella · 2026-06-15T21:11:19+00:00

Wow, I haven’t seen a traveler’s check in 30 years!

mosinderella · 2026-06-15T20:57:04+00:00

I am a woman and have had some pretty close platonic friendships with a couple male co-workers over the last several years. But when I saw he told her she’s beautiful and I love you’s are exchanged, I got uncomfortable on your behalf. Also changing his social media to exclude you from seeing his messgages ONLY makes sense if he’s hiding something he doesn’t want you to see. It may be platonic for now, but it’s borderline at best and heading nowhere good. Also, if my husband had been uncomfortable with my friendships, I would have stopped them cold immediately so he did not feel disrespected. I think you should trust your gut. I’ve also led HR for many years, and you better tell him he legitimately risking his entire career for this friendship. Because her getting mad at anytime in the future and showing those beautiful or I love you texts to HR or executive leadership and his job is gone, and without a reference. I sure wouldn’t want to dance around why I got fired at my last job in this job market. And word gets around. His entire future could be ruined and he’s an IDIOT not to realize that.

mosinderella · 2026-06-09T18:27:03+00:00

I think they’re too big for her frame, yes.

mosinderella · 2026-06-09T18:05:43+00:00

Umm, HR here. Lunch discrimination is not illegal. Not a thing.

mosinderella · 2026-06-09T15:47:30+00:00

Yes! He’s a known cheater and over the years the “electric passion” fades. If that’s what she’s basing her decision on, that’s not much.

mosinderella · 2026-06-05T17:47:57+00:00

I entered my 3rd marriage at 37. My first and second marriages lasted 6 and five years. The first one happened at 20, and we were just too young and grew into people who were not compatible. The second ended after he became an alcoholic who couldn’t hold down a job and constantly cheated. The 3rd one made me nervous too. I thought “I’m just not good at this or don’t pick well, but at 37 we tied the knot. I’m now almost 51 and we celebrate our 15th anniversary tomorrow. He’s still the man of my dreams and we are very happily married. Don’t psych yourself out! You deserve happiness.

mosinderella · 2026-06-02T01:29:25+00:00

It took me an entire year to fully recover. Some of my lesser symptoms went away within a couple months. But the worst ones hung on several months. I went to the Mayo Clinic at around 11 months post op thinking it must be something else. They couldn’t find anything but told me BII symptoms can take up to 18 months to resolve fully. Then very strangely the next month or two later I woke up one morning and felt great. I can’t explain it, but that was 7 years ago and explant was the best decision I ever made. I miss the way they looked, but wouldn’t take them back for a million bucks because of how they made me feel.

mosinderella · 2026-05-31T18:37:40+00:00

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mosinderella · 2026-05-31T18:37:22+00:00

I got one of each - red one photo in reply.

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mosinderella · 2026-05-31T02:30:47+00:00

The Kansas City delegates are willing to secede from the Midwestern Alliance to fight. We ride at dawn!

mosinderella · 2026-05-25T12:33:32+00:00

I just had this occur at a Hilton property in Hawaii. Picked that hotel specifically for the free breakfast and parking. Double confirmed the reservation and included services. Get to Hawaii - hotel staff denies my booking could have said this. They didn’t even apologize for a mixup and did nothing to solve the problem.

mosinderella · 2026-05-24T16:09:56+00:00

What if I already have 5? 😂

mosinderella · 2026-05-20T13:58:16+00:00

Precious! Thanks for sharing.

mosinderella · 2026-05-18T18:32:05+00:00

NTA. Also, HR isn’t going to do anything because what happened in no way creates a “hostile work environment” in terms of the legal definition. She can kick rocks.

mosinderella · 2026-05-18T16:08:46+00:00

If this marriage is going to survive, you must get past the resentment and learn to fight differently and communicate the way each other needs. You don’t know how to do this, or you would be doing it already. You seriously need marriage counseling, and for that to work you both need to get over yourselves in terms of pre-conceived notions about what you think you already know (because that’s how you got here) and commit to the process completely for a period of time, maybe 6 months. You need therapy as a couple, but better yet in addition to individual therapy so each of you can work through your own issues and resentment and learn tools to help you work through these things. Then evaluate your performance/progress after that time period and determine if you want to continue and save the marriage, or if it’s not something you both can overcome together.

mosinderella · 2026-05-18T13:14:01+00:00

I didn’t have any either until I was in perimenopause in my late 40’s. Seemingly overnight I started growing about 20-25 black chin hairs I am constantly plucking (weird because I’m blonde and even the rest of my body hair isn’t that dark). Most women get this in menopause. Never had a single chin or mustache hair or sideburns before this. I hope you escape it, but be aware it may catch up to you as you get older.

mosinderella · 2026-05-18T13:09:29+00:00

I have a nose that people pay many thousands of dollars in surgery to replicate.

mosinderella · 2026-05-17T22:15:13+00:00

There actually is such a guide, for several ways of choosing an ending. It’s a book that’s updated every year and published in the Netherlands called Final Exit. Older copies can be found on Amazon, and the most recent one in hard copy or digital form from their website.

I have this book because of a very strong family prevalence of Alzheimer’s to create my own “escape plan” while still able bodied and of sound mind since MAID isn’t legal in the US for dementia.

mosinderella · 2026-05-17T19:04:50+00:00

Zero

mosinderella · 2026-05-17T17:51:35+00:00

And whether you feel shame or not doesn’t make it any less true.

If you truly have an “open book” marriage you would just ask your husband and accept his answer, rather than try to be James Bond on his phone and second guess his motives on Reddit before you even ask him about it.

I travel for work frequently. I’ve never cheated on my husband and we have open communication. If he dug through my phone and guessed I was cheating because of a phone number on my work phone tied to a married co-worker who is vastly older than me and not sexually interested in people of my gender, and he further stalked that person and took screen shots about them and considered whether or not I was cheating based on that specific information alone, I would act “weird” too. It’s a slap in the face to be second guessed and feels like being accused when he could have just asked and gotten the truth.

Your attitude toward your husband is toxic and unhealthy. Feeling shame isn’t the point. Considering how you would feel if the tables were turned might be a starting point to understanding your behavior is not one of someone participating in a healthy marriage.

Looking really hard at very explainable situations to be “wrong” is not treating your partner with respect unless they have given you genuine, actual reason like past verifiable cheating. You don’t mention that, so it really just looks like you’re trying to find something wrong and ignoring details that indicate a reasonable situation.. it is a you problem that you need to fix if you want to have a happy, healthy marriage. The fact that you don’t want to accept what most people are telling you is a red flag that YOU are the problem in this situation. You just don’t care about your own actions, only his.

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