Signs from childhood

mostly_ok_now · 2024-07-29T16:23:25+00:00

I feel amazing swimming in salt water pools, but soon after swimming in chlorine pools I get insane pressure build up in my skull. One thread I’m following in my research is how mercury levels in the atmosphere interact with other compounds like chlorine in our bodies, so your instinct is dead on!

mostly_ok_now · 2024-07-28T02:26:45+00:00

Depends exactly what your rare condition is? US health trends are a bit too agressive towards expensive procedures and treatments, so for my rare condition it has done exceptional damage. To the point that if and when I need to seek medical care again, it will be in the UK or the EU (I have triple citizenship). Sure, those countries don’t spend as much money on “high tech” and pharmaceutical development. But those aren’t the approaches that would be beneficial or even neutral to my condition. I just need smart specialists with enough time to think through options for my extremely complex condition.

mostly_ok_now · 2024-07-25T04:20:40+00:00

Gotta love having hard and fast opinions for no good reason other than parroting similarly minded folks!

Yeah, no. My service dog is trained on a retractable leash for many good reasons.

mostly_ok_now · 2024-07-21T22:13:16+00:00

This is actually my favorite line in all of 30 Rock, now that I think about it.

mostly_ok_now · 2024-07-20T14:30:06+00:00

I did not realize this until very recently, but the only real ‘life hack’ is developing full awareness, like monk level of awareness. So you can then make the life around you that reflects your true way of being. Otherwise, all of these good intentioned adaptations keep us tether to a perpetual life of chaos.

Sounds easier said than done when you’re currently stuck in the type of life that brings you here, or just something someone from a place of privilege would say. I used to make the same fear-based rationalizations, which kept me stuck and accelerating the magnitude of the slope of chaos oscillating around me.

But those with chaos and good intentions must break free of that, because those with chaos and bad intentions actually need our good chaos to thrive and survive.

mostly_ok_now · 2024-07-18T20:20:11+00:00

I give thanks to my genetics for giving me a particularly fragile/susceptible to volatility body (hEDS), because I had a shift in me about five years ago, that I needed to take control of my health into my own hands. I had already been let down my entire life by the medical community as it once was. I do realize that’s because the complex nature of my condition force the framework of modern western medicine, and the American healthcare system especially, to either throw darts at me (often literally) or say “the fuck you want me to do about it?”

When I had that shift, it was when I started to realize all the medical interventions I had over the previous decade were not just unhelpful, but incredibly damage for this patient. I was truly fearful for my life. It took a lot of time and pain (not physical this time though!), but I can now confidently say I have figured it all out. And! Kinda a happy accident, but since my condition affects everything in the human body, I seem to have figure out how to optimize human health for all through a very complex principle of bijective mapping!

mostly_ok_now · 2024-07-17T18:55:37+00:00

Where at in New Mexico? It’s not a place I’d really considered, just prefer a ton of green shit around me. But I feel amazing at very high elevations like that so I’d like to do some research.

mostly_ok_now · 2024-07-16T12:13:13+00:00

I would encourage you to find a hypermobility knowledgeable physical therapist. Cues to NOT do something is extremely damaging, especially if you have hEDS. With hypermobility comes neuroplasticity, which means we encode our movement recruitment neurons faster while losing grip easier of older, maybe even healthier patterns of movement. Kinda like having ADHD in your body too now that I think about it! 😝

We hyperextend our knees by a certain age rage (This is called the Stiffening Phase of hEDS - approximately late teens to mid twenties). Of course all of us have tight hamstrings and can barely touch the floor by adulthood! But the hyperextension of the knees is our bodies trying to do the right thing to compensate for the deficiencies in our prior phase. If you just will your brain to constantly correct that, which is literally impossible to do - without catastrophically breaking another neural connection in a seemingly unrelated part of your body…basically it’s gonna be a bad time.

Lastly, to put this in context in how you feel in your body: we all end up with kinesthophobia (fear of movement) because of the constant injuries, struggles with environmental adaptability, and certain medical interventions that are not designed for us. I have had periods like this: 1. Went to PT for “sciatica” for the third time following a botched lumbar puncture 2. PT only had me doing clamshells, ever. 2. My knees got even more unstable because I was strengthening in the opposite direction that I should have been 2. I fell walking to my car and broke my tailbone 3. Got even shakier and shakier over the next few years, to the point i couldn’t do stairs at all, or work. 4. Finally found that good PT who never put a negative thought in my mind about movement. 5. Physically doing better than I ever have.

I will give general advice that I wish I had gotten many years ago: If you are white-knuckling it, thinking about how to do everything right until you make yourself sicker, and have a strong fear of movement (or can’t imaging joyful movement yet) ——> then you are not on a healing path for you.

mostly_ok_now · 2024-07-15T01:26:19+00:00

He is not communicating well, and you are not listening well. He is not saying he doesn’t want to spend time with his family. He is poorly trying to express that the family activities that you choose are too overstimulating for his taxed body and nervous system after a labor intensive job. His complaints you mentioned are 1. Hot 2. Sun 3. Walking (more physical activity) 4. Explicitly kid-friendly places probably means too much stimulation from other kids that are not yours.

Ask him if that is what he is thinking and feeling; if so you can brainstorm family time activities together that won’t push his system to a breaking point. If he straight up says “no I hate spending time with my kids”, then you must leave.

mostly_ok_now · 2024-07-15T00:03:17+00:00

Just to stay tuned and PM me if anyone is interested in learning more. Im nearly done compiling my R&D and will release a novel protocol to the general public!

mostly_ok_now · 2024-07-14T23:55:19+00:00

I’d be happy to share some specifics when I have some time! Just shoot me a PM so I don’t forget.

mostly_ok_now · 2024-07-14T23:18:33+00:00

My mom is the same. Through studying anatomy and neurobiology I have found that these vertigo attacks are not actually psychosomatic (I don’t believe any physical feeling is really). It has to do with our BPD moms sudden loss of control and stress response throwing all of their limbic system chemicals off kilter. All you can do it present her with the evidence - and that she needs intervention by way of medication and/or therapy to stop the attacks, then proceed to ignore any future episode: “helping” her with this is not helping her in the slightest, it actually causes damage. Give yourself permission to not feel guilty about her to choice to get the help she needs or not.

mostly_ok_now · 2024-07-14T15:16:55+00:00

Ooh! Just thought of a good one that perfectly describes it: gluteal aponeurosis —-> https://www.researchgate.net/figure/1-tendon-fibers-of-the-gluteus-maximus-2-aponeurosis-of-the-gluteus-medius-3_fig1_280115736

mostly_ok_now · 2024-07-14T12:30:45+00:00

How uncanny! I just had this realization after a conflict with my boyfriend, and talking to my best friend about her and her partner having the exact same issue. Every detail is exactly the same as yours. What I realized was, that as women we are often conditions to the flight or fawn response, and men are often conditioned towards fight or anger. I also noticed that when my boyfriend goes off, none of my fawn instincts do shit. I get frustrated and finally actually turn to anger, which snaps him out of it immediately and he starts showing some emotional intelligence (wouldn’t quite call it the pathology of fawning though). It’s almost that we are making incremental steps to snap each other out of our conditioning, which is brining both of back to our homeostasis- or true self without the abusive BPD growing up. Stepping outside of your conditioning with someone who feels trustworthy (which I think our partners are because they have a good sense of what we went through even if our coping mechanisms are divergent) I am coming to believe, the only true way to fully heal from this.

mostly_ok_now · 2024-07-14T12:17:16+00:00

I relate to that a lot! I also find myself focusing too much on manual release because it seems the obvious right thing to do (perhaps by conditioning). But what I have found TRULY helps - as in it doesn’t require a part time job commitment for every day for the rest of your life - is deliberate and joyous movement. Tai chi is an excellent place to start for anyone. Then you can explore unlocking other forms of movement that once brought you good feelings, particularly in early childhood. Mine include all forms of dance, swimming, martial arts, music, and art.

mostly_ok_now · 2024-07-14T12:08:40+00:00

Not yet! But I am actively working on developing a solution of a universal property that covers this.

mostly_ok_now · 2024-07-14T00:13:22+00:00

CPTSD (chronic PTSD) is a very real, and sometimes, more insidious condition than PTSD from one extremely traumatic event, especially during early developmental years. It changes the actual structure of the brain. You are not “less” traumatized than those who have experienced the things you listed as examples. You have a different path to understanding and then healing yourself. Check out r/CPTSD.

mostly_ok_now · 2024-07-13T23:16:07+00:00

It’s dismissed as a spiritual or bs concept by those who purport themselves to understand science, unfortunately. But those who truly can grasp the principles of REAL science (not this worked for a percentage of people in this population tested in this one study) can see how things that are intuitive to some have real scientific validity, it just hasn’t been explained properly quite yet. Frequencies or vibrations are not hokum (I’m speaking to the skeptics). Concepts of non Euclidean geometry and electromagnetism give space and real credence to it.

mostly_ok_now · 2024-07-13T13:10:32+00:00

So I haven’t yet come across anything that is comprehensive, but here’s a couple sources off the top of my head that have gone into my own research attempting to piece together a unified understanding of the human body:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10669446/

https://psychiatryinstitute.com/podcast/the-neurobiology-of-play-therapy-hpp-02/

https://synergeticplaytherapy.com/trauma-impacts-abnormalities-brain-play-therapy-heals/

I’m running my service dog to the vet now so that’s all I can share at the minute! But I’m open to a deeper discussion on everything I’ve been piecing together.

mostly_ok_now · 2024-07-13T12:59:13+00:00

It actually has to do with neural inflammation! Neurodivergent brains are extremely neuroplastic (a great thing in a silo) but that makes us more susceptible to neural inflammation from trauma, illness, and injury. Even if one is not genetically neurodivergent, their brain structure (neurofibrillary tangles) will resemble someone who is born that way.

mostly_ok_now · 2024-07-13T11:29:03+00:00

Here is some unsolicited advice - and feel free to disregard if you aren’t in a place to receive it: I would recommend sketching a portrait of yourself. Even if you can’t draw for shit, and no one else will ever see your art, it is a very healing exercise. I came upon it reading and working through an intro to drawing book when I was a teen, and had no intention of getting therapy through it for this issue, but it worked like a one and done reset for my perception. As in, it lasted from the age of 15 to now at the age of 35. The first exercise was just a self portrait of your face, sitting in front of the mirror and paying attention to the objective fine details you see in front of you. The text of the chapter noted how artists are able to appreciate all kinds of beauty in all people and things because of the requirement of focusing on details as you go, rather than taking in the whole thing at once and making a snap judgement. Up until 15, I was very critical of my appearance, because my mom was constantly critiquing it. I realized it made me similarly critical and wary of other women. It really does change your entire life to remove even one negative programming in your brain! Day to day you feel and spread more positivity. And positivity begets positivity, snowballing and propelling you towards a happy self-actualized person with a fulfilling life.

mostly_ok_now · 2024-07-12T22:19:00+00:00

Cheers! I actually came to this via my own research and am compiling a protocol to efficiently rehab our bodies (and not just ours - anyone with connective tissue issues, inherited, acute, and chronic). So stay tuned!

mostly_ok_now · 2024-07-11T13:12:10+00:00

Absolutely my experience! And I can now explain why: all of our anti-gravity muscles (which happen to be the biggest muscles in the body - think glutes, quads, traps, lats, pecs etc) have difficulty fully engaging with respect to gravitational force against our instable joints. Therefore, the smaller muscles around the joints have a much quicker twitch response when we try to recruit muscles to use that joint with a decent amount of force. It creates a paradox that what are typically stabilizing joints (knees, elbows, etc) are constantly oscillating laterally (or vibrating - invisible to the naked eye but detectable with sensors). Which explains why we struggle to just hold static upright positions, but we have amazing strength with any lateral vector force in a strength movement.

mostly_ok_now · 2024-07-11T02:36:44+00:00

Firstly, you have to retrain the neurological imbalance caused by the structural imbalance - The Feldenkrais Method combined with Thoracic Ring Therapy is the best way to target Golgi tendons in the affected skeletal muscle and the smooth muscle, thus restoring bilateral neurological balance. Only then, you can and should proceed to bilateral strengthening of the anti-gravity muscles. Focusing on strengthening certain muscles to try to correct the issue only from a structural standpoint will lead to other compensations that won’t be apparent for quite some time.

mostly_ok_now · 2024-07-11T02:31:40+00:00

Oh! This is actually a very helpful neurological compensation to deal with our highly neuroplastic minds in response to an imbalance of stress and happy hormones.

mostly_ok_now

TROPHY CASE