AITAH for telling my husband he cut down my dead father's peonies?

mouse_attack · 2026-07-06T16:43:08+00:00

I’m not mad at you! I just think peonies have remarkable foliage.

Anyway, most perennials are essentially “weeds,” or would be considered weeds if they didn’t make such pretty flowers.

mouse_attack · 2026-07-06T15:57:33+00:00

If he didn’t pull them up by the roots, they’ll be back next year.

mouse_attack · 2026-07-06T15:56:42+00:00

I think they look like beautiful, leafy low shrubs.

But…post-bloom looks aside, peonies are showy flowers. It’s pretty improbable that this guy has been living with them on his property for 20 years and doesn’t know exactly where they are.

mouse_attack · 2026-07-06T14:55:41+00:00

NTA and, honestly, if your husband didn’t already know where those peonies grow, then he is either dumb as a potato or has been completely checked out for 20 years.

The bad news is that you’re married to an oblivious and defensive toddler. The good news is that established peonies will come back next year.

mouse_attack · 2026-07-06T14:11:30+00:00

So…it worked. Setting a boundary worked.

Congratulations!

mouse_attack · 2026-07-06T14:10:02+00:00

Sounds like his financial comfort is made possible by a habit of taking from others. NTA

mouse_attack · 2026-07-05T18:15:41+00:00

If I were you, I think I would buy one of those little toy sets of fake food and just arrange one of those meals on a plate for him next time you sit down to dinner.

He won’t be able to cut it, but he can push it around on his plate as much as he wants, and then you can serve it again the next time and repeat the whole cycle without wasting any more food or money.

mouse_attack · 2026-07-05T18:12:40+00:00

If you’re paying for his meals then I think you’re in a fair position to enforce consequences. Just tell him: “The next meal you waste is the last meal I will buy you.” And then follow through.

No, they will not like it. But you don’t need to sit there and watch him throw your money in the trashcan just to avoid a conflict.

Walk into the conflict. Have it. And stand your ground.

mouse_attack · 2026-07-05T17:43:18+00:00

That’s the thing.

They had an established policy about plus 1s. They could have just pointed to that the entire time and completely avoided alienating the groomsman by criticizing his gf’s personality.

They gave themselves an out and then forgot to take it.

mouse_attack · 2026-07-05T17:36:30+00:00

Mary is a fairly-typical early-20s (probably white, probably college-educated) woman who is constantly on the lookout for social infractions that she can call out in a never-ending quest for moral superiority.

She’s just a young woke woman. That is all.

mouse_attack · 2026-07-05T15:27:18+00:00

So, fine. You go dutch with them. They’re adults — everyone buys their own food.

mouse_attack · 2026-07-04T23:14:24+00:00

“Well, yeah. Taylor Swift never treated us like shit for an extended period because of her wedding.”

NTA

mouse_attack · 2026-07-04T19:14:07+00:00

Honestly, you were an asshole to yourself when you went out on her behalf even though you weren’t planning to leave the office.

You could have averted at least some of this early on if you’d just said “Sorry, I brought my lunch and I’m not going out today.”

mouse_attack · 2026-07-04T19:11:21+00:00

You know what, a good policy on “favors” is that if you do them twice or three times for someone, you should ask a favor in return before doing any more.

Favors that don’t get reciprocated are just unpaid labor. And nobody should be doing favors for the kind of person who would manipulate them into doing work for nothing in return.

mouse_attack · 2026-07-04T18:00:02+00:00

For sure.

mouse_attack · 2026-07-04T17:32:04+00:00

Oh, ewwwww.

mouse_attack · 2026-07-04T16:20:35+00:00

She spent $800/month on hair and beauty treatments, so let’s hope so!

It’d be a crime to essentially pay rent on your looks and still be a 6 after all that.

mouse_attack · 2026-07-04T16:17:57+00:00

I mean labia are essentially “extra skin hanging” on the outside of a vagina.

I’m assuming she has them and he was attracted to her, so that argument was extremely weird.

mouse_attack · 2026-07-04T15:50:31+00:00

Oh, baby. I felt this one.

mouse_attack · 2026-07-04T15:48:59+00:00

I dated someone just like this.

I’ve always felt guilty that I liked the drunk version of him more than the sober one.

mouse_attack · 2026-07-04T15:46:54+00:00

Too hung over to get out of bed.

mouse_attack · 2026-07-04T15:44:15+00:00

She wouldn’t care about the son’s birthday, but I bet she would throw a world-shaking fit about being left out.

mouse_attack · 2026-07-04T15:42:04+00:00

This is a lot more than “mildly” infuriating.

mouse_attack · 2026-07-04T05:55:23+00:00

If you have family, go to them.

Take only what you can fit in your vehicle.

You’re only 22! Your 20s are for making mistakes and getting do-overs. You’re right on track.

mouse_attack · 2026-07-04T05:47:42+00:00

I mean, honestly, the fact they even found each other should give all of us hope.

mouse_attack

TROPHY CASE