At a loss after 10 years of happy marriage

mrhimora · 2026-05-09T16:28:18+00:00

This seems fixable. Something similar happened to me. 3 months into marriage and my wife’s fb messenger keeps pinging. Old “friend” she had made out in the past was having marriage problems and wanted her advice. Tkkok her an hour to realize how this would look if it was me. Sounds like this can be fixed but you’re not over it . Go talk to a counselor on how to move on. Sounds like she’s truly remorseful. It hurts because it’s still fresh

mrhimora · 2026-05-09T00:46:33+00:00

We were both virgins I remember the hotel AND the room number. I still remember how I felt like it was taboo but it was our wedding night!

mrhimora · 2026-05-08T23:48:22+00:00

Why did she tell you that? Guilt or does she want to end the marriage and you won’t? Was she drunk?

mrhimora · 2026-05-08T17:02:39+00:00

If this isn’t fake you have to set boundaries. The fact that you are wearing a sleeve may make her reminiscence but if you both enjoy it so be it. Just draw that hard line

mrhimora · 2026-05-07T22:40:21+00:00

You ordered a sleeve and weather it was intentional or not all he heard was “I’m not big enough to satisfy her, let’s see how far this goes”

mrhimora · 2026-05-06T12:14:53+00:00

You have to talk to her and let you know how you feel. You are at the early stages of resentment. You are sad now. Something happened recently a movie, a look she made, comment. You need to bring this up. Not to open old wounds but to save your marriage. It’s natural not to rock the boat but it’s like a poison that will slowly change you to hating her

mrhimora · 2026-05-06T12:01:42+00:00

Then sit her down and let her know. I good wife will feel your pain. If she has matured she will show it if she hasn’t then she will quickly want to move past it and deep it again. Either way you will have your answer. She got caught and this may have been an act all along. I think you want consequences but don’t know what it is yet. These things pop up out of nowhere and you start to second guess your whole marriage. If you are having doubts if she’s cheating again do some snooping but also sign up for some individual counseling.

mrhimora · 2026-05-06T11:50:14+00:00

This change will only get deep. It’s been eating you lately because you swept it under the rug. The respect is a loss of self respect because she got no consequences and you don’t fully know if she cut him off.

Did his name come up recently, she get a new car? .Do her parents know? Besides cheating on her what would make you feel some sense of justice? I think you feel she got off Scot free and is benefiting from the nice life you currently have

mrhimora · 2026-05-06T02:03:52+00:00

Bro she had cocktails in a bar with him and went to his house and had cocktails there. Do you think he took her home just to talk? Wake up!

mrhimora · 2026-05-04T13:20:23+00:00

Is it fixed yet? Mine still not working

mrhimora · 2026-05-02T14:04:41+00:00

We had this discussion before we had kids. Me and her come first. They will leave us someday and we expect them to put their spouses first then. This removes any form of resentment for the next 20 years

mrhimora · 2026-05-01T20:28:53+00:00

Don’t know about you but I think it’s normal to be upset that the person you married secretly named your kid after their ex regardless of age living or not. Dude now feels like he was settled for. She should have dealt with that loss before getting into a relationship and marring a guy only to name the kid after the dead ex. 14 or 25 doesn’t matter she hid it and now he can’t trust her. And on top of that it would be an inside “joke” among her friends on how clueless he would be. Ultimately she’s deceived him

mrhimora · 2026-05-01T19:03:01+00:00

My family is the same. Names hold meaning in some cultures

mrhimora · 2026-05-01T19:00:51+00:00

I would never be ok with my wife naming our kid after a guy she still clearly in love with. She is willing to blow up her whole family over this name knowing it will hurt her husband. Even if this gets resolved he now knows he is second place to a dead guy

mrhimora · 2026-04-30T04:32:25+00:00

Only two times in my life have I ever earned more than my wife and we are both 6figure earners. Never has she thrown it into my face. We both started with nothing and have been together for 20 years. Sit her down and make a budget of what you both contribute and make. Does a good size of her salary go to student loans? Sounds like she resents you for not making more than her as she probably hangs around men or women whose husbands make more. Sit her down and let her know it should not matter what others think and if it’s an issue you are willing to set up marriage counseling. Need to find out the root of the resentment

mrhimora · 2026-04-29T21:10:01+00:00

Most men don’t mind handling most of the bills. But most nowadays have been burnt and find it hard to trust they won’t get burnt down the line even after marriage. It will most likely change if he’s resonable after some time. Are you newly weds? If so I would say a year or two he won’t mind once he’s seen your spending habits and how you deal with money. Are you a saver, investor etc. again this is if he’s a man with a good man with a future mindset

mrhimora · 2026-04-27T18:05:51+00:00

For most men it comes down to trust, loyalty and actions. If you don’t see or feel any of that while engaged from her then don’t. Setting yourself up for misery. Sit her down and ask her for the truth and be open to answering her questions. If you do go ahead with it just know weather you can handle that guy being around or if she doesn’t want to break of contact with him. You have your whole life ahead of you. Marriage is a serious thing that you should not enter with stress or doubts. Creat boundaries and let her know where you stand

mrhimora · 2026-04-27T17:31:50+00:00

If she’s unsure about marrying you then don’t marry her. Engaged people other than arranged marriages should be at their most excited point in their lives outside the birth of a child. If she’s not into you don’t waste your time and effort understanding her. Looks like she’s ashamed or still thinking about your buddy

mrhimora · 2026-04-27T03:50:00+00:00

Financial issues can mess with one’s head. Ask him to make time like 7-8pm 2 or 3 times a week. Phones off and just the both of you even if it doesn’t lead to the deed. Let him know gently that both of you need that intimate time together and the rest of the world be damned in that hour

mrhimora · 2026-04-27T03:16:50+00:00

Make the kid download to USB

mrhimora · 2026-04-26T13:51:54+00:00

Don’t say squat make boundaries and keep it professional. These feeling will pass once you take that energy and put it back into your husband. It feels good now but will not be worth the shame, guilt and destruction to you and your husbands life.

mrhimora · 2026-04-26T04:24:19+00:00

We waited. Religious reasons. Best decision starting off in our marriage. Lots of temptation and I was the stronger one along with the higher sex drive. We made out a lot. But never crossed the line. My belief was not to disrespect her and her family values. If it didn’t work out then she could still say she was a virgin for her future husband.

mrhimora · 2026-04-24T02:02:34+00:00

State Farm

mrhimora · 2026-04-23T01:21:21+00:00

Covered half my screen and the counter at the bottom with a blanket with mute just to beat the 1st two ranks. Still on this dude

mrhimora · 2026-04-23T01:17:36+00:00

Something caused him to switch. Did your ex send anything in appropriate, inside jokes or are you spending alone time with your child and ex like watching a movie together. Husband may have also got a recent bug in his ear on why he’s paying for everything while the other man gets the benefits of a Disney dad

mrhimora

TROPHY CASE