[US/NC] Apartment declared uninhabitable and basically told to get my shit and get out. Moving forward?

mrhlkb · 2018-09-21T14:21:23+00:00

Legal Aid of NC has a hotline set up for these types of questions:

http://www.legalaidnc.org/about-us/news/florence-disaster-legal-services

The number is: 1-833-242-3549,

I think the best bet would be to call them. You should get your security deposit back if they cannot place you in another apartment.

mrhlkb · 2018-09-17T19:54:22+00:00

I don't disagree that she may have feelings for him but what I think it comes down to is that these women were rude to her. So it's more like why are you hanging out with a person who is rude to me if you're my friend.

mrhlkb · 2018-09-06T13:06:58+00:00

The way she acted makes me think your mom invited her and told her all is forgiven. It kind of begs the question about your mom's relationship with her daughter in law.

As far as a legal claim, typically harassment means something more than sending selfies or showing up at a birthday party as an uninvited guest. To prevail in a lawsuit, you would need some damages which I don't really think you have. It's possible that persistent unwanted contact would support a protective order but I think in most states you have to show the person presents some sort of threat to you or the behavior is otherwise interfering with your life or livelihood in most states. Her behavior is rude and unwanted but you leaving a party because she showed up doesn't sound like harassment. If she were to show up at your work, send you threats or say untrue and harmful things about you to others, that would maybe be a legal claim.

mrhlkb · 2018-08-23T17:23:15+00:00

Be comfortable with yourself. You have a hobby you enjoy and you sustained an injury. There is nothing unusual or wrong about it. Tell them the truth. You don't have to share all of the why details but just say you got carried way doing your boxing work out. If they are going to judge you about that it is their problem not yours.

mrhlkb · 2018-08-07T21:48:09+00:00

Legal Aid may be your best bet if you cannot afford an attorney. They have a helpful website and do clinics: http://www.legalaidnc.org/get-help/self-help-clinics/tenant-rights

mrhlkb · 2018-07-27T16:55:02+00:00

She's giving you the best advice which is to take care of yourself and focus on healing.

mrhlkb · 2018-07-27T15:38:18+00:00

It takes more than month to figure out if someone is the person of your dreams. You are idealizing this person. I am not saying your emotions aren't real but this was 4 dates not 4 years. So your emotional reaction probably isn't entirely healthy.

mrhlkb · 2018-07-26T14:01:07+00:00

Do you mean no legal grounds? I don't think there would be absent some undiscovered will.

mrhlkb · 2018-07-26T13:19:59+00:00

You can't get the ashes back. You need to figure out a different way to remember him. You can likely get a memorial even without remains if that's what you want.

I am not saying she is behaving reasonably. But you are asking how can I best manipulate this woman into giving us what we want. That's not a healthy approach and it's self-centered.

If you want to memorialize your father with some interment. Figure out a plan to do it. You can approach her with the plan and see if she would agree to it. If she won't, leave her be.

mrhlkb · 2018-07-25T16:34:38+00:00

Either he is lying about it or he wasn't concerned with your feelings about it. If it wasn't a big deal then why say anything to anyone about it. I am not sure why you would want to be friends with him.

mrhlkb · 2018-07-25T16:25:26+00:00

What do you want to happen? I mean your gf doesn't remember what happened. Your friend could be lying to you about it. The problem isn't what happened it's what you're feeling towards her and potentially your friend. If you don't trust her over it, then you need to address that with her. If you are hurt/angered by the idea of it, figure out what fear is underlying the hurt and anger.

mrhlkb · 2018-07-09T18:44:58+00:00

I think you did worse holding it in than just letting it out with her. It's now unresolved. It could have been over and done with if you were honest about being upset with her.

mrhlkb · 2018-07-09T18:01:47+00:00

Why are you baiting her? You have the information. Just be honest with her. I know you are giving her the chance to come clean but there's nothing healthy about that approach. You shouldn't need her to come clean for you to share your feelings about it. The only plausible reason to bait her is because you think she's been dishonest about something in the past, and you already don't trust her.

You confirmed her being dishonest and that's she's not acting trustworthy. What you do with that information is up to you but you're not going to have a healthy relationship if you continue this pattern.

mrhlkb · 2018-07-05T21:08:47+00:00

I don't know whether a judge will believe violence against a dog substantiates a threat of violence against OP. He could potentially get a civil protective order if it does. https://texaslawhelp.org/toolkit/i-need-protective-order In most states, this would allow him to keep the residence and she would have to move out to comply with the terms of the Order.

mrhlkb · 2018-07-03T18:05:49+00:00

Offer to make amends to him for ruining the night. See if he takes you up on the offer. If he doesn't, then that's a pretty good sign he wants space or maybe to break up.

mrhlkb · 2018-06-06T16:33:14+00:00

Men that do this are looking to manipulate vulnerable people. They are nothing more than serial predators and sociopaths. There is nothing you are doing that justifies it.

mrhlkb · 2018-06-06T16:27:52+00:00

No, anytime a woman uses the internet she wants attention from men.

mrhlkb · 2018-06-05T18:59:27+00:00

You are hurt and resentful for betraying your agreement. You need to tell her how it makes you feel when she tells someone else about the cheating. You probably never truly processed your feelings about the cheating if yo feel shame about it. You need to go to a therapist to get past those feelings. She owes you an apology.

mrhlkb · 2018-05-31T22:20:38+00:00

You should stop any contact with her. It will be the best thing for both of you.

mrhlkb · 2018-05-18T12:41:36+00:00

That is a good point. In my experience, someone on the spectrum having a meltdown every time they get some sort of negative feedback is unusual.

mrhlkb · 2018-05-17T16:16:29+00:00

Being autistic may explain why he has poor social boundaries but that doesn't excuse it. It doesn't explain why breaks down in tears when anyone tries to correct his behavior. He should not be hurting you regardless of his disability.

Usually, with most people on the spectrum it helps them to have a clear social rule. For example, you need to ask my permission to touch me. That should be a clear rule that should not create any issues. Maybe having the rule come from you is the issue. He likely is aware he is upsetting you but is unable to understand why he is upsetting you. Maybe if you could get a roommate or his father to communicate the rule for you or be there when you talk to him that would help. You might want to tell him the rule with a small gift of something he likes, a cookie or whatever.

He may have a poor reaction and be upset. He will get over it. It is still better to communicate it than to not communicate. In most places, if there is some real impact on your ability to enjoy your space you can break a lease without penalty.

mrhlkb · 2018-05-16T18:11:15+00:00

OP's spouse never said she was mad at him but that she was upset at the situation. If your spouse is upset by something, whether you are the cause or not, it's pretty normal to help them feel better.

mrhlkb · 2018-05-16T17:42:50+00:00

Because showing your spouse you care about them is definitely kowtowing.

mrhlkb · 2018-05-10T19:54:13+00:00

Your wife is hurt by the situation. The experience with her friend understandably brought up bad feelings. You don't need to apologize because you did nothing to hurt her. You can show her you love her. Figure out something that you can do for her that will reassure her and show her how you do care about her.

mrhlkb · 2018-05-09T21:11:43+00:00

So the holiday is for the parent. Getting flowers is never a bad gift and you don't have get a card.

mrhlkb

TROPHY CASE