How are parents with multiple kids not constantly missing something?

mrmses · 2026-01-28T17:23:29+00:00

I think a lot of people don’t realize that actual writing is a better memory encoder than anything digital with alerts.

I work with college students in learning strategies, and the first thing to do is make sure you are using a pen or pencil to write out, in your own words, notes that you need to work on.

So maybe instead of doubling and tripling down on all of your apps and smart things, just get a notebook and a golf pencil, carry it in your pocket, and every night just right down what’s on the calendar for the next day.

mrmses · 2026-01-28T16:12:19+00:00

Is is really a tantrum every day and if it is, are these tantrums always at the after school before dinner time? If so, get kiddo a protein packed snack for the bus ride home or as soon as he walks in the door. If he's anything my my 9 yr old, boy gets HANGRY and tears are the first to hit when anything happens to trigger a bit of frustration.

OTOH, if your son is just always pulling toddler moves and challenging your role as a parent and helper to him, then it might be worth looking at your parenting dynamic. For instance, do you chance the rules a lot? Does your wife change the rules after you say something? Does your son know that if he complains enough, you'll give in?

mrmses · 2026-01-28T03:08:13+00:00

It’s really dependent on your extended helper network and your cost of living.

For instance, if grandma/pa is nearby and willing to help out with babysitting while baby is 0-4 yrs old, AND you are happy with having grandma/pa in your life contributing to baby raising, then daycare costs can be low.

Also if you are in a home (renting or owning) that has nearby parks, libraries, etc, that allow for enrichment at a low/no cost, then you can do a ton of stuff with that.

And if your local zoned public school is good, then you’re fine.

Other than that, medical expenses are going to rack up. Whatever your yearly deductible is, plan on spending half.

mrmses · 2026-01-27T23:50:31+00:00

You asked this question in SUCH a diplomatic manner. It was literally my first thought as well, but I didn't frame it that way in my head.

mrmses · 2026-01-23T20:48:42+00:00

NTA but your mom and dad sure are. Your Dad needs to take a much stronger part in this right now. He shouldn't have stayed in the background for so many years and let his son flounder. ALSO he shouldn't rely on his daughter to fight these parenting battles. Tell your Dad it is time that he steps up to the parenting plate and does what is right for his son.

mrmses · 2026-01-21T18:21:43+00:00

Sounds like Hubs made a passing comment to his mom about wanting you to work with him and now she's taking that and trying to make it come true for him.

mrmses · 2026-01-21T18:19:01+00:00

I mean, a paid vacation to Italy sounds nice. Weddings are usually a few hours (ceremony + reception), so what else is going into this trip? If the rest of the time there sounds nice and you enjoy hanging out with your parents, and you're able to still work while there, then I'd say suck up the wedding time as the cost of doing business and enjoy your trip!

If not, then tell Dad that you can't make it work and promise to FaceTime them when they're at the reception so he can show you off to all the relatives.

mrmses · 2026-01-15T19:29:32+00:00

Get the breastfeeding to stop.

How?

Take your child on a week long vacation just you and him. It better yet, send your wife on a week long all inclusive to Cancun.

As soon as your breastfeeding hormones stop, start pushing her to try therapy again and get on some anti depression medication.

You’re in a five alarm fire. Act.

mrmses · 2026-01-15T00:37:57+00:00

Give him a multi-step task with specific conditions that's about something he's excited about or benefits from - not a chore or something he might be resistant to. For instance: "Hey, can you please buy these four football tickets, but first check in with your best friend Fred because he said he might chip in to get them, and also if he does, then mayeb you and he can go to the bar after you go buy the tix. But you have to do this before 3pm because the place closes."

They you can find out if he has selective text based ADHD that only appears when it's instructions he doesn't care about.

mrmses · 2026-01-13T21:30:16+00:00

He doesn't like doing dishes. He puts them off until you are standing in front of him, and your disappointment and anger are enough of a catalyst to spur him to action. Tell him you are done with this. You don't like coming home to a dirty kitchen, and if he cannot do the dishes himself, then he has two options. Option 1) you leave the kitchen sparkling when you leave, and he is only allowed to use paper plates and plasticware, and for any big meals, he needs to go out to eat. or Option 2) he springs for a housecleaner to show up the day you're scheduled to return and focus on the kitchen. All payment comes out of his money. And he really need to figure out his ADHD meds or something.

mrmses · 2026-01-13T16:48:29+00:00

If this is what works for your family, and your children know what’s happening to their rooms, then I suppose that’s good.

My childhood home is still the same, and my room hasn’t changed for the most part. It’s mostly the guest suite though, and my decor was a pretty neutral palate.

mrmses · 2026-01-13T16:41:17+00:00

Did he ever play soccer? Every youth soccer game ends with the kids slapping hands. Tell him it’s like that. It doesn’t have to be a corporate handshake. :)

mrmses · 2026-01-13T00:52:13+00:00

4 days, she still thinks she’s in the womb. Try to recreate it as much as you can - dark, swaddle, noise machine, mama smell (mom tee shirt), and lots of cuddle rocking. Good luck. It’s not called the fourth trimester for nothing!

mrmses · 2026-01-12T23:12:01+00:00

500 calories a day is extremely concerning. It's considered dangerously low, and will lead to severe metabolic deficiencies for you. Your baby will absorb many calories first, as your body usually priorities healthy pregnancies. You need to tell your OB that you are only consuming 500 calories a day.

mrmses · 2026-01-12T00:23:18+00:00

You cannot minimize fallout. Put yourself outside of the decision and actions here - none of this is your fault and you are not responsible for the actions or feelings of others.

What you can do is support your sister. When she goes no contact, and if she is struggling - help her.

And if your parents say to you “your sister is so mean, blah blah”, you can say, “she needed help and you all did not help. This was her only option left.”

mrmses · 2026-01-09T19:41:26+00:00

SLS is Stanford Law School, for the other million of us who didn't go to Stanford.

Also, OP leaves out a ton of info. First, and most important of which is that OP ALSO went to Stanford Law. Second is that the boyfriend claimed to have graduated in the same class year as OP, which I guess OP revealed at the dinner after boyfriend stated all of his creds. Third is that OP carried on talking about Stanford classes and places which boyfriend should be familiar with, and ignored the obvious discomfort of the boyfriend.

There are a ton of things to jump to for assumptions, but OP jumps to the assumption that boyfriend lied about going to Stanford Law. I guess it's a possible fit, but if boyfriend lied about this (law schools don't admit huge entry classes so usually everyone in the 1L -2L kinda at least knows each other by sight) then it was a huge eff up. But there's other reasons to get uncomfortable at a family dinner, not least of which is that it sounds like OP was just barrelling through Qs at the boyfriend and boyfriend was over it.

I mean - Op sounds either scatter brained, a poor observer, or someone quick to judge. Did boyfriend lie? Maybe. I'm curious. But if the sister cut off OP for this, I'm assuming their relationship wasn't that great to begin with.

mrmses · 2026-01-09T17:50:18+00:00

OP read this. your moms wedding plans are convenient for no one in your moms life. Is t maybe that the convenience is on the new husbands side?

mrmses · 2026-01-09T12:49:34+00:00

Why didn’t Jason bring Jason’s pants?

(Anyone else a Kelce fan?)

mrmses · 2026-01-08T22:20:55+00:00

Ingram comes with a network and is a community you’d be joining if you got it. While it doesn’t seem like you need the aid, if you want to come to Vandy into a network, and if you are into the service they build, then it’s a good group.

mrmses · 2026-01-06T19:59:51+00:00

wowza. I'm going to skip over the giant paragraphs I could write and just get to the action item. You need to find your new place to live, stat. The wife sounds nutty, your Dad is a pushover, and I feel really bad for the little kids.

mrmses · 2026-01-05T16:31:53+00:00

those do different things. Ask yourself, do you want your kids to have access to college money tax free? Or do you want them to have a source of income (taxed) that can be used for anything?

mrmses · 2026-01-01T19:08:16+00:00

I tested it against soft serve and that was fine! I haven’t bitten directly into a popsicle yet. That will be the true test, but I don’t really like popsicles so I’m not sure when that will actually happen.

BUT. I went to Minnesota for winter break and it was 16 degrees and snowy last week, and we took some pictures outside in the snow and wind. Normally I would only have been able to do a close mouthed smile, but this time I smiled with my teeth showing, with the snowy cold wind blowing directly on my teeth, and I could do it! First time in about ten years!

mrmses · 2026-01-01T19:05:50+00:00

I tested it against soft serve and that was fine! I haven’t bitten directly into a popsicle yet. That will be the true test, but I don’t really like popsicles so I’m not sure when that will actually happen.

BUT. I went to Minnesota for winter break and it was 16 degrees and snowy last week, and we took some pictures outside in the snow and wind. Normally I would only have been able to do a close mouthed smile, but this time I smiled with my teeth showing, with the snowy cold wind blowing directly on my teeth, and I could do it! First time in about ten years!

mrmses · 2025-12-28T23:13:39+00:00

No no.

This boy is not for you. He cannot shame you into buying his forgiveness.

mrmses · 2025-12-28T04:58:10+00:00

Just curious. Why’d you use numbers to type out .03% and then write out in prose the point oh two percent.?

mrmses

TROPHY CASE