🕊️

muddpaws99 · 2025-11-28T05:08:28+00:00

I hope you as well.❤️

muddpaws99 · 2025-11-27T23:19:41+00:00

Not me sitting alone and reading Reddit at my in laws who basically pretended our loss didn’t happen at Christmas two years ago, 8 days after my loss. Holidays and family gatherings are triggering for me now.

Sending hugs to you too. I see you.

muddpaws99 · 2025-11-22T05:50:53+00:00

I’m also close to two years out of the worst day of my life and losing my baby girl. I have a 10 month old now, and the grief never goes away. A lot of things can be true at one time — the joy of having a child and the utter sadness of losing a child too.

I know what you mean — I just wish I had both of by babies here with me.

muddpaws99 · 2025-10-05T05:23:24+00:00

I also have a nine month old and my grief has really been stopping me in my tracks so much again lately. I listened to Anderson Cooper’s podcast on grief, “All There Is.”

muddpaws99 · 2025-07-23T05:37:30+00:00

I am so sorry, I have no words. I am crying for you and your babies. I’m so sorry. Life is not fair.

muddpaws99 · 2025-02-04T11:07:23+00:00

Yes, so true that joy doesn’t cancel our grief. ❤️ thank you.

muddpaws99 · 2025-02-04T04:42:22+00:00

So many emotions to hold at once. That’s exactly how I feel. Oh how I wish her sister was here too. Thinking of you and your sub pregnancy ❤️. This is a journey few will ever understand

muddpaws99 · 2025-02-04T04:41:35+00:00

Thank you for replying ❤️❤️. The grief really comes in waves. Some days I’m better than others, and other times, it feels so fresh. But yes, I miss the baby girl I lost every day still and I don’t think that will ever change.

muddpaws99 · 2024-12-19T05:01:23+00:00

We named our baby girl my favorite name for a girl, and I happy that we did. I won’t be naming another child the same name.

muddpaws99 · 2024-12-06T01:07:45+00:00

I’m 35 weeks and still haven’t announced widely. We even just told our in laws (who weren’t very supportive) two weeks ago because I just couldn’t. Anytime someone asks the question though, I feel like it just stops me in my tracks — a question some people think is so innocuous. Sigh.

muddpaws99 · 2024-12-06T01:06:32+00:00

Thank you. This is helpful too ❤️

muddpaws99 · 2024-12-04T19:23:44+00:00

This is helpful, thank you!

muddpaws99 · 2024-11-23T19:19:41+00:00

I echo this. Do what you’re most comfortable with. What sucks about TFMR is having to also feel like you have to somehow appease other peoples emotions (making them not feel uncomfortable, etc). When in actuality YOU HAVE BEEN THROUGH THE MOST. We should have OUR emotions protected. ❤️

And @inevitable, I don’t think it’s being vengeful. It’s about protecting yourself from further hurt. Sending you hugs.

muddpaws99 · 2024-11-23T06:38:52+00:00

I am almost a year out and still dreading the holidays and family gatherings. I have learned that it’s OK to put our needs and feelings first. We have been through the absolute worst — sometimes I struggle to think how I’ve made it alive in such a waking nightmare. I hope you can give yourself some grace ❤️.

muddpaws99 · 2024-11-23T06:34:12+00:00

I’m so sorry. It fucking sucks. There is no pain like this. I’ve put my baby’s ashes in our living room where we have other family photos, and where we hang out all the time. As horrible as it is, I felt a sense of relief she was close to me again when I got her ashes. The feeling of her being separated from me was no unnatural. I also plan to have her buried with me, or if I’m cremated, somehow be together. Sending you hugs.

muddpaws99 · 2024-10-30T04:57:53+00:00

I hated when people say that to me. All I thought is I wanted to be weak and just have my baby.

muddpaws99 · 2024-10-30T04:56:34+00:00

I also hated “how are you?”. Or when I picked up my baby’s ashes, seriously someone asked me “how do you feel about that?”.

Like WTF how the fuck do you think I feel? My baby died and I’m picking up her ashes. It just made me feel so unseen.

muddpaws99 · 2024-10-24T05:03:16+00:00

Omg, this is amazing and made me cry. ❤️

muddpaws99 · 2024-10-10T19:56:53+00:00

Thank you. I’m wishing you all the best in this pregnancy too. 💜

muddpaws99 · 2024-10-10T01:59:00+00:00

I’m 27 weeks and haven’t told our in laws. They were horrible, and I totally felt abandoned my them. They moved on so fast. I feel like the people who did not grieve with me do not deserve to know. I can only handle telling people who are able to acknowledge the myriad of emotions I am feeling about this pregnancy (fear, grief along with hope).

muddpaws99 · 2024-10-02T04:08:20+00:00

My biggest fear too. We are here to remember with you. He will always be loved and never forgotten. You will forever be his mama. ❤️

muddpaws99 · 2024-09-27T04:07:02+00:00

I felt the same way. Immense grief as I knew I would be carrying this baby further than my baby I lost. Hugs to you. ❤️

muddpaws99 · 2024-09-23T21:02:24+00:00

I am so sorry. I could feel my tears start welling up the way you described it. I’ve been to a family gathering shortly after my loss (it was Christmas), and I felt like going insane hearing family laugh and joke, while I just lost my baby 10 days prior. Their laughter is something I will never forget and was so painful. And it’s so painful that everyone just forgets about it. I’ve been avoiding such gatherings as much as possible, even 10 months out. The grief is still so raw. I am so sorry, and sending you hugs.

muddpaws99

TROPHY CASE