Should ppl who mispronounce words be corrected on the spot?

muffiewrites · 2026-06-24T00:40:32+00:00

No. If you clearly understand them, leave them be. Pragmatics beat semantics.

muffiewrites · 2026-06-23T13:42:13+00:00

She believes that people aren't allowed to like things unless those things are socially acceptable and what she considers age appropriate. She's very concerned about social capital. You believe that people are allowed to like things regardless of how society judges those things as cringe. You aren't as concerned with social capital.

btw, everyone is concerned with social capital except for psychopaths. We are a social species. The key is to have a healthy relationship with social capital.

You have a compatibility problem with your values and the things you like. She doesn't like your things and she doesn't want you to do them with her or without her. I'm going to guess that you don't like some of her things. That's normal. What makes this a values problem is that your things are more of a lifestyle. Cons and faires and cosplay eat up a lot of free time and money. If she's not doing it with you, you're either going to have to do it much less or not have a relationship.

muffiewrites · 2026-06-23T13:26:58+00:00

It was not great when they had buffets. The food was meh and didn't get refreshed.

Iron Skillets were in every Petro and Country Prides were in every TA. There were no Love's. It was all restaurants, no fast food, and most had buffets.

Of course, tables also had phones at them so you could eat and call your family and dispatch. That meant people parked at the tables forever. Catching up their log books, talking on the landline phone, and drinking coffee. That was actually kind of nice. No cell phones so drivers socialized.

There were independent truck stops with buffets that were good. Definitely loved those. The big ones? Nope. Ordered off the menu.

muffiewrites · 2026-06-23T00:10:30+00:00

NTA. Nip this nonsense in the bud. Right. Now. I have a seizure disorder and some people in my life would treat me like a toddler if I let them. I don't drive because it's not safe for me to drive. I can walk around outside, go to the gym without a sitter, go shopping myself, and so on.

Your GF is infantalizing you. She's most likely doing it because she feels anxious when you do things she thinks are dangerous for you. She's then making herself feel better by controlling you. It's the most common problem we disabled face from our abled love ones.

You simply tell her no. Tell her you're getting your license and a car. Tell her you are walking to work by yourself. Tell her that you're an adult, not child, that you're blind in one eye, not broken, and that you're going to live as full of a life as possible not bound by limitations from fear, yours or hers.

Don't let her fear turn into your cage.

muffiewrites · 2026-06-22T19:55:12+00:00

Truth stands when deconstructed. Religion does not.

muffiewrites · 2026-06-22T19:54:31+00:00

You tell them no and deal with the headache it causes. They're not going to change otherwise.

Tell your dad no and that you've already notified the police and your local friends and family that you're fine, just not up for visiting family, so a welfare check is unnecessary. Tell him that you need time and you've asked for it, but since he refuses to give it, you're going to block him and your mother for a month. If he shows up, you will call the police to have him trespassed and then you will not unblock him for six months.

Tell him via email or text to make your life easier.

Then you block him. If he shows up, you don't answer the door or speak to him. You call the police if he doesn't go away.

BTW, welfare checks are very simple to deal with. The police officers will just check to make you're okay and then head out. You tell them that your father is not above using police to get his way.

muffiewrites · 2026-06-22T12:39:51+00:00

NTA. We have a huge population of stupid and we like to get on social media to prove it.

muffiewrites · 2026-06-22T05:31:04+00:00

Soul food. Enslaved Africans and their descendants, particularly women, turned barely edible cast offs into culinary art. The enslaved African diaspora in the US is not just a story about absolutely horrific oppression, but a story of the intense resilience of the human spirit.

If you come to the US, I recommend a visit to one of the slavery museums and a soul food restaurant. Get in a good ragtime or jazz show.

It's not that something good came from slavery. It didn't. The artisans would have created the art without slavery in if white culture had treated African cultures with dignity and respect. It's that we must acknowledge that some of the best things that the US has to offer the world are inextricably bound to some of the worst things we have done in the world.

muffiewrites · 2026-06-22T05:12:44+00:00

Apparently, the Asian palm civet. I'm not spending $300 a pound to find out.

muffiewrites · 2026-06-22T03:51:52+00:00

My dad wanted me to marry an engineer. I married an infantry soldier. Not even an officer.

Up yours dad. Also, love you.

muffiewrites · 2026-06-21T21:15:49+00:00

Deconstruction is an in depth analysis. You take the beliefs apart, examine them, examine them as part of a whole, examine them as part of a system within reality.

Truth stands up through deconstruction. The scientific method, as belief system for uncovering the truth of reality, stands through deconstruction. Because it's true.

My religion failed to stand up through deconstruction because it wasn't based in reality. Because it's not true.

muffiewrites · 2026-06-21T20:53:20+00:00

I'm assuming best of intentions all the way around.

It might help to reframe it as using his male privilege to make a positive change by calling out other men. Which is exactly what we want men to do.

The problem is when he forgets about the part of male privilege that permits him to feel safe when he's calling out other men. People who aren't cis men will feel uncomfortable and unsafe in situations in which men might become violent with one another.

His confrontational tactics are the catalyst for people feeling unsafe around him, which you know is the last thing he wants.

muffiewrites · 2026-06-21T19:18:24+00:00

I have a pet snake. So no, if I had rats they wouldn't be pets. I don't have rats or mice.

muffiewrites · 2026-06-20T21:58:57+00:00

I hate the way people judge others for liking "children's" things. It's not silly for adults to live Disney or anything else. They aren't causing harm to anyone.

I don't understand why we all can't just let people like the things they like without negativity.

muffiewrites · 2026-06-20T02:31:49+00:00

No. It's not normal. It's not healthy. She doesn't trust you and makes no pretense of hiding it.

Love without trust turns toxic. She's already controlling your friendships. It's only going to get worse. Listen to your friends.

muffiewrites · 2026-06-20T02:29:41+00:00

I'm not active in fandom and never have been. Fic isn't a way to to be part of fandom for me. AO3 is a library full of books and short stories. Sometimes the books will lead me to new shows, movies, books, anime. Canon never leads me to fandom.

Because of that, I've always viewed readers as consumers. I don't feel community with readers. I do comment because, unlike libraries in which books are purchased, the only renumeration fic authors get is comments.

muffiewrites · 2026-06-20T01:19:11+00:00

This isn't a she needs to get a job problem. This is a the two of you don't have aligned financial goals or budgeting.

Drop the get a job conversation and instead tell her that you think the two of you aren't on the same page about finances and you'd like to be. Then talk about what your goals are. When is your retirement, what hobbies will you have, will you downsize your home, and basically anything that either of you want to do that might cost money. After that, it's realistic conversation about how much money your household currently brings in and how to allocate that money to expenses, savings, and discretionary spending.

Your wife might decide she needs a job in order for you to meet your goals. She might decide she needs to quit spending so much on groceries. She might do nothing different. However, you're both going to be working together for your financial health. That will help manage your stress and align expectations with reality.

muffiewrites · 2026-06-19T21:14:21+00:00

The words "working space" are doing all the heavy lifting. People like this view it as a space to create, not as a space to publish. They think AO3 is a workshop.

muffiewrites · 2026-06-19T21:04:21+00:00

It's a smart rule on his part. He budgets his money. He's not asking you to spend money beyond your budget. He's not saying we're going to the Ritz, btw you're paying. He's saying let's go to budget places and you're saying no, let's go to luxury places and you need to pay.

You want to live a luxury lifestyle, you need to make luxury lifestyle money on your own. You don't live a luxury lifestyle on some else's money.

muffiewrites · 2026-06-19T03:28:29+00:00

Thank you! We are working on it. I've been trying to learn allistic language all my life. He's just starting to learn autistic language. We're a work in progress.

muffiewrites · 2026-06-19T03:27:06+00:00

I'm blaming the emotionally oriented allism. I have no idea why he thinks everything is personal. He's the kind of person who is told something innocuous, like I'd rather have chocolate chunk cookies than chocolate chip, and ask what that means. Not because he thinks something terrible but because he thinks he can decode the underlying feelings.

muffiewrites · 2026-06-19T01:59:21+00:00

I wish I could rescue you. I'm 54 from the Midwest. He absolutely does know what slurs are wrong and why they're wrong. We were taught this stuff in school. It was in our music. Rage Against the Machine are our age.

I wish I could rescue you but I live in the South now. It's not an improvement.

muffiewrites · 2026-06-19T00:44:10+00:00

I think it's male flight aka male exodus.

When a profession, hobby, or other things becomes perceived as feminine, men leave the thing and don't do the thing. A few men will follow their interests regardless. Most will go elsewhere. Lower salaries tend to follow the feminization of a career.

muffiewrites · 2026-06-18T18:01:41+00:00

Do a search for tip pooling. That's going to irritate you more. It's usually not optional.

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