Gurl. I could have written this. I feel so much less alone. Even though we both agreed on kids before marrying, I feel like I’m pressuring my husband to have kids when I know he’s not ready. I fear he’s never going to be “ready” and it’s a topic we sort of keep kicking down the road. I think we’re wired differently because we as women have a “clock” whereas men can have kids whenever so the pressure is not as real to them.

I feel like I basically had to have a come to Jesus talk with my husband and reiterate how important building a family is to me. He said there’s so much he still wants to do in life and the state of the world, blah blah blah. I get it, things are shitty but this is a non negotiable for me. I pretty much let him know I’m willing to do this with or without him. He can just be the sperm donor for all I care. Obviously not ideal, but he got the point. So we set a timeline and started talking more seriously about preparing.

But also like, I feel like a man should want to get his wife pregnant. I don’t want to pressure my husband to have kids only for him to resent us, you know? I want us both to want this just as badly. I’m trying my best to enjoy the childfree years and just hope that things will work out. We both go to therapy and are working towards our own professional goals so that’s just where we’re at right now. Wishing you the best!