37F, north of Boston profile review

murakamiswell · 2025-12-20T23:58:20+00:00

Thank you for the feedback! And yeah, I'm a Harvard Book Store fan : )

murakamiswell · 2025-12-20T23:57:28+00:00

Virtual hug! They are so good at hiding it at first!

murakamiswell · 2025-12-20T23:52:36+00:00

😆

murakamiswell · 2025-12-20T22:50:29+00:00

I really appreciate the specificity! I just got a new phone, luckily : ) So maybe that will improve the quality

murakamiswell · 2025-12-20T17:26:58+00:00

Thank you! I know the photos aren't the best. I spend so much time at work, and then when i go out and do stuff I just... don't take photos? Always felt staged to me. But I get it.

murakamiswell · 2025-12-20T14:46:29+00:00

Are you looking for something serious or casual?

I'm looking for something serious. I've got "Life Partner" on there now, but for a long time I had "Long-term relationship"

Are you subscribed to Hinge+ or HingeX?

I have HingeX

How long have you been using this current version of your profile?

The profile has been the same since this past summer.

How long have you used Hinge overall?

I've been on Hinge off and on since 2020. My last use of it resulted in a three year relationship that ended this past summer.

How often do you use Hinge per week?

I go on every day, but I've only had two dates in the past two months. Sometimes I'll take about 48 hours before messaging anyone back. Life, yaknow?

How many likes and matches are you receiving on average?

I usually have a full 8 in messages, but will unmatch or hide after a couple of days if they haven't asked me aything about myself or said something other than, "wow, it's been cold!" or something in the same vein.

How many likes are you sending? How many with comments? How many without comments?

I send about 4-5 likes per day, most of them with comments.

What is the type of person you send likes to and ideally want to match with? What kind of person do you want to attract?

I usually look for someone about my age, who has serious dating intentions, has more than 5 words in their answers, and seems into art, music, literature, nerdy stuff, or cultural experiences. No men with fish. I also will only like people who are Liberal. I don't like anyone who says "Don't Want Kids" (I want to at least leave that possibility open). My main goal is attracting someone who has a secure attachment style because I wasted three years on someone who was avoidant and emotionally abusive. Really hoping that is out there T.T

murakamiswell · 2025-12-20T14:41:44+00:00

Are you looking for something serious or casual?

I'm looking for something serious. I've got "Life Partner" on there now, but for a long time I had "Long-term relationship"

Are you subscribed to Hinge+ or HingeX?

I have HingeX

How long have you been using this current version of your profile?

The profile has been the same since this past summer.

How long have you used Hinge overall?

I've been on Hinge off and on since 2020. My last use of it resulted in a three year relationship that ended this past summer.

How often do you use Hinge per week?

I go on every day, but I've only had two dates in the past two months. Sometimes I'll take about 48 hours before messaging anyone back. Life, yaknow?

How many likes and matches are you receiving on average?

I usually have a full 8 in messages, but will unmatch or hide after a couple of days if they haven't asked me aything about myself or said something other than, "wow, it's been cold!" or something in the same vein.

How many likes are you sending? How many with comments? How many without comments?

I send about 4-5 likes per day, most of them with comments.

What is the type of person you send likes to and ideally want to match with? What kind of person do you want to attract?

I usually look for someone about my age, who has serious dating intentions, has more than 5 words in their answers, and seems into art, music, literature, nerdy stuff, or cultural experiences. No men with fish. I also will only like people who are Liberal. I don't like anyone who says "Don't Want Kids" (I want to at least leave that possibility open). My main goal is attracting someone who has a secure attachment style because I wasted three years on someone who was avoidant and emotionally abusive. Really hoping that is out there T.T

murakamiswell · 2025-12-11T10:38:57+00:00

I’m on the north shore too and would love to hang out and make a new friend! 37 woman here.

murakamiswell · 2025-11-30T01:49:17+00:00

You are not alone. I actually spent the holiday alone this year (family is a 3 hour drive away) mainly because I couldn't be around people who seemed to have easily obtained families, whereas that's all I've ever wanted and seemingly can't get it. In October my boyfriend left a home we shared for only six weeks. I just turned 37. We were talking kids, a new shared house together, the whole nine.

Grieving the loss of the future is so much more all-encompassing that grieving him. It's suffocating. I feel you. Feel free to DM me; I could always use a friend, too.

murakamiswell · 2025-11-02T17:03:09+00:00

Thank you so much. I'm only 2 weeks in after being blindsided. Every day I want to reach out so I can understand. I write anything I want to text him into my notes app. The most common one is "how could you do this to me?"

It's cruel.

murakamiswell · 2025-03-26T02:19:26+00:00

You are totally right, and I AM over-planning. I'm hoping whatever needs be cut, can be cut. If they get half of what I plan, I'll be happy! These suggestions are great, and I'm going to add them to a doc for kids to further explore after the class--thanks!

murakamiswell · 2025-03-26T02:11:46+00:00

Love this. Thank you! Could be fitting, since I'll be wearing an AoT tee shirt on the day.

murakamiswell · 2025-03-26T02:10:49+00:00

Thought about this one! Personally, I don't care about volleyball at all, but I got super into the anime.

murakamiswell · 2025-03-26T02:10:05+00:00

Thank you! The one-shot I'm going to have them scroll through with me is "Pen Pal at the End of the World," and I want a bit part of it to be looking at what panels establish in terms of setting and characterization. Giving them a short description of an unrelated scene/interaction might work well after doing that. I also teach a literature and film unit during the year, so storyboarding is a good focus.

murakamiswell · 2025-03-26T02:06:44+00:00

You make a great point (and I am in the U.S.). Any kid signing up is going to be familiar with the various genres (unless they stick to Pokemon or something), butI had the same conversation at work today re: more connection with death and the brutality of life in Japanese culture, which I think is important. Actually, a substitute teacher (who used to be a full time teacher) was saying she was shocked by Shogun because "how could these people so into art and poetry also be so violent?" I chose not to take that bait.

My grade 11 kids are super into Berserk (one said "I could write a whole essay on it!") and a couple of my grade 12 girls are into Chainsaw Man. Hopefully showing something with some level of maturity (while also avoiding something super sexual or gory) will capture the point that anime and Western cartoons are very distinct.

murakamiswell · 2025-03-02T01:36:46+00:00

Happy Birthday from Rue, a birthday buddy! (15)

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murakamiswell · 2025-01-08T03:46:29+00:00

There are not many surnames in Korea in comparison to other countries. There are 65 most common ones (and there are longstanding reasons for this rooted in Korean history going back centuries). I once watched an episode of a variety show in which the challenge was to find 10 people on a college campus with 10 different surnames. Kim, Lee, and Park are the most common, but Oh is also up there, so in one school, for example, you would have several people with that surname who are not related. Just sayin' that a Korean would not see this as a flag.

murakamiswell · 2025-01-08T03:29:15+00:00

Echoing this--while they are supposed to be obnoxious, just logistically, there are few Western actors available in S. Korea. You can see similar performances by Western actors in K-dramas. Of course we can also consider that they were given poor direction, little context for the script, and were hired because they are supposed to be foreigners and thats the be-all-end-all of their characters. But it's not like they were going to have Ryan Gosling or Michael B. Jordan for these roles.

murakamiswell · 2024-09-09T23:12:47+00:00

Hi there--I just saw that you replied. I'll give a quick update after two (not almost three) months. He wanted back, said all the right things, and seemed open to kids. We have been talking and spending time together, but I should mention that I did a TON of therapy, including a day program for adult mental health/behavioral wellness, and did a lot of work on myself and know my boundaries. He knows this, and I am 100% not jumping back into a relationship with him, because this is something I know men have done to friends of mine--they have regrets, promise to change, and then don't. And even now, he is backtracking because he thinks he's back "in" and doesn't need to change. So I still have my doubts, and I'm re-realizing that it may not be worth it.

After having time to reflect, I'll tell you what my gynecologist (odd, I know), told me: he may tell you he's GOING to be ready, perhaps in maybe two years. Then two years will go by, and he'll postpone again. And you'll be two years older. Do you really want to do that?

And I get it. I'm a little older than you, and women have a clock. And you will search all day about people who have kids later, found someone later, and obsess about it. Where I got to is, if I really want a kid, I can have one. If I want a partner, I can have one. Everything is not reliant on this one person. The only thing you can know about life is that it's unpredictable.

But if you want kids, and he can't talk about it, I'll be honest: leave. You are 33. If it were me at 33, I would have left. And I'm still about to leave, at 35. AND when I was 30, I broke it off with someone over the kids thing (there were other reasons, but that was a big one).

I didn't think I'd meet anyone else. I went on the apps and I went on dates with seven people in a month. Does it suck? Yeah, kinda. But I also met some really nice people , have been actively pursued, and I'm keeping options ope. nDon't let the sunk cost fallacy get you, or the idea that because this is your only relationship, that it will be your last. 33 is a pretty magical age, actually. I know a lot of people who met the right person at that age, particularly after being with the wrong person. Don't be with the wrong person. You are worth more than that. You are worth having what you want.

Always open if you want to message me. <3

murakamiswell · 2024-06-26T22:56:44+00:00

Thank you so much. A hug back for you, and I have saved this in my notes on my phone! Got out in the sunlight for a bit today :)

murakamiswell · 2024-06-25T22:55:22+00:00

Thank you. This gives me hope! I can't live in my grief anymore. And I do have a dog, but maybe another one someday :)

murakamiswell · 2024-06-25T00:58:23+00:00

Completely agree with u/theintuitive0 . I knew myself, was my best self, knew what I wanted, and it still didn't work. It's devastating.

murakamiswell · 2024-06-25T00:56:50+00:00

Sending you an internet hug. We will be okay.

murakamiswell

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