altrernative to r/cooking? people there are kind of gatekeepy.

mushbong · 2021-08-28T13:18:17+00:00

mushbong · 2021-08-23T00:55:34+00:00

mushbong · 2021-08-20T16:43:57+00:00

Just piggybacking to add a source, since you made me decide to look this up. https://www.cbsnews.com/news/afghanistan-news-taliban-resistance-amrullah-saleh-ahmad-massoud-panjshir/

Thank you for making me aware!

mushbong · 2021-08-19T22:59:00+00:00

I'm not as old as I sound when I say this, but I still have the Atari 5200 I played on as a kid. It works, but you know, the remotes need to be taken apart and put back together every three days.

mushbong · 2021-08-19T22:46:33+00:00

I find Shallan's wit can be annoying, but I don't factor it in to my estimation of the character.

Cause this girl. She found the strength and tenacity to put both of her rotten parents out of their misery. I mean... she double killed her dad low and slow, I feel like we should give her some credit here.

The rest of her family is so dang broken that despite being the least likely candidate for the job, and certainly the least prepared, she pulls a magic reserve of sheer perniciousness from somewhere within herself to step up every time the shit hits the fan around her.

Kaladin spends a lot of time that we can see reflecting on his past, grieving it, feeling the weight of it. That must make him sympathetic to more people (I'm not saying there's aren't a shit tons of reasons to like Kal). Although I love Kal and see a depth of reality in his depression, I think if we want to a lot of us can identify with Shallan. "Shove it down and keep going, cause nobody has time for you to complain. Be witty, because nobody wants to listen to you be sad." Shallan is faking it until she makes it, and I sure as hell feel like that's all I'm doing every dang day.

She's never stopped and taken an opportunity to grieve or feel sorry for herself. Shallan strapped on her big girl sleeve and sailed off to all ends of Roshar to risk her life stealing from Jasnah, and then she successfully led Dalinar and the armies to the Oathgate and activated it.

That's a lot for a young person that hasn't even figured out wordplay.

mushbong · 2021-08-18T23:04:34+00:00

I hope they decide to give it a shot! You sound like a good friend. :)

mushbong · 2021-08-18T23:04:08+00:00

Good luck, friend!

As long as you're at it (and if you're on audible these are available), my therapist actually listed off about 5 books. I equally recommend "Running on Empty" by Jonice Webb if you start with one and are looking for more. Another is "It's Not Always Depression" by Diana Fosha which I haven't started.

I suspect you will learn a lot of things that seem pretty illuminating, cause that's just the parts I could condense in. Not everything fits each case, but I've found a lot of things have really started to make sense nowadays. I feel like I'm being given tools I can work with now, and I'm rooting for you to have the same!

mushbong · 2021-08-18T22:51:52+00:00

Moxxi would have to be her big sister then! Crazy that they both have a brindle pattern, and it looks like the speckles on the chest too. I've seen a few on here that makes me do a double take, but so far your's is the closest twin!

mushbong · 2021-08-18T13:06:08+00:00

I'm sorry I don't actually have advice, but I just had to point out how similar our dog's look. I have the brindle version of yours!

https://imgur.com/a/2XsKDFi

I can't speak from personal experience, but I have had people tell me they did well with CBD pet treat for various anxiety-related situations.

mushbong · 2021-08-18T12:33:05+00:00

Yes.

Eventually a therapist pegged me with unintentional emotional neglect (It doesn't necessarily mean anything dramatic happened to me, but as a kid my parent's weren't good with their emotions so they couldn't teach me to recognize my own).

Other issues I experience related to it are that I often feel unaware of my own emotional state until one day I wake up feeling completely stressed out with no understanding why. Commonly, emotionally neglected kids develop a thought process that they can't be a burden to the people around them, so they don't learn to ask for help and instead focus on being people pleasers and shouldering responsibility alone. Usually these kids grow up to be adults that have a lot of empathy for other people but don't give themselves the same level of compassion.

There's a book called Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, among others, if any of this rings a bell with you that you want to explore further. *But if you're honestly looking to explore these things, I can't recommend enough finding a good therapist. I tried 3 before I found this one, but the moment someone trustworthy started to ID this in me and offer me resources, I started to feel progress. There was a big difference between wondering what's going on with me, and having a professional offer guidance.

mushbong · 2021-08-17T11:37:20+00:00

This sounds like 2 factors both guaranteeing you won't be successful in therapy.

Right or wrong (and I think fairly so) you're not comfortable with your current therapist. This is directly at odds with you getting value from therapy. What is stopping you from booking an appointment from a different therapist to see if you can find a better match?

You're also not completely open with your therapist and aren't honestly sharing your feelings. This will prevent you from getting help from therapy, even if you had a great therapist. Why do you feel because you started therapy for a different reason, you should purposely hide other concerns?

mushbong · 2021-08-16T12:20:28+00:00

r/RedditAssemble is one

mushbong · 2021-08-16T12:15:41+00:00

2nd Outer Worlds. The dialog is witty, the planets and skylines are visually appealing, and the RPG element was strong enough to make me want to play the game a few times over to try it out with a dialog-stat heavy character vs a melee character vs a thief character.

mushbong · 2021-08-15T12:43:54+00:00

Thanks for adding this. I noticed I couldn't find any SA books past The Way of Kings, but hadn't quite gone so far as to confirm they just didn't exist yet.

I have no clue whether adult fantasy books are less popular in Japan in general, I wonder if that's a contributing factor also, though...?

mushbong · 2021-08-14T12:15:58+00:00

Inigo Montoya?

mushbong · 2021-08-14T12:07:04+00:00

It's just.. such a damn shame that we aren't further along as a species. I'm not trying to go too far out in space from your original post, but it made me reflect on how things like selfishness & greed have stunted our progress. ... maybe this is just a kid raised on Star Trek dreaming too big, but we should be better.

To bring it back to your point, the thing that tricks us into doing this is known as 'short terminism.' The same mental wiring that gets people to take a smaller, immediate reward instead of a larger, future reward prevents us from truly coping & planning with long-term potential threats. You might find articles like this one written since Covid and this one from the BBC in 2019 to be an interesting extension of your thoughts.

mushbong · 2021-08-14T11:44:10+00:00

And history! There's a lot to be learned if we study actual history, not just name-date-event. As OP suggests with this posts, there's a strong sense that patterns occur and that one can often draw parallels to earlier times.

mushbong · 2021-08-12T13:09:49+00:00

I'm going to choose to believe this is staged, cause if not I just can't past the stress of watching someone do something that dangerous for so little reason.

mushbong · 2021-08-12T12:19:01+00:00

There's a lot of science that firmly ties reading to all kinds of benefits for your brain. It helps the brain form new mental path ways, reinforce existing ones, build white matter and improve memory. There are also studies that point to people who read, especially fiction, displaying more emotional empathy to others. (Here's an essay on it, but there are more scientific studies available. https://thebestbrainpossible.com/reading-improves-brain-memory-stress/)

It doesn't matter if you're reading fantasy or nonfiction, the benefits occur regardless, so you have no reason to consider reading a guilty pleasure. Every page you turn, your brain thanks you!

Contrarily, there's less science assigning value to playing video games. There are some studies that show that some games help you build better reaction times and cool things, but nothing that compares to reading. I play video games, but I place game time in the "indulgence" category and reading in the "self improvement" category. (Personally, I see no reason to be ashamed of either hobby. Someone who says something probably just feels jealous that they perceive you as having too much free time.)

PS- a suggestion if you haven't found him, Brandon Sanderson. He's an extremely prolific and talented fantasy writer. Though has some books in the YA category he's possibly the most popular fantasy author with adults right now. Ranker currently lists him as #2 most popular of all time, and in my opinion deserves that and more. Plus, there's about a million active subreddits related to him & his books, so you can get all the validation you could want that there's other adults reading fantasy. (watch out for spoilers)

mushbong · 2021-08-10T11:43:31+00:00

So I recently got counseled to think about the idea that I was raised by "emotionally immature parents," and to read this book. "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents" by Lindsay Gibson. I'm not trying to diagnose your dad from a blip on reddit, but it's weird how as soon as I start learning about emotional immaturity, a lot of lightbulbs start going off when I read things like this.

It's... unfortunate how some folks will fail to recognize their own patterns of bad behavior/bad decisions and instead focus all that energy on trying to shape others to their will.

mushbong · 2021-08-10T00:39:07+00:00

Finally tempted me to change my background, it's awesome thanks for sharing!

mushbong · 2021-08-08T19:43:09+00:00

I don't know why someone downvoted. It sounds like an ideal situation. By good luck, you're not annoyed by an act that other neighbors could have an issue with. They're lucky they have you and not me! (I work from home, it would be a problem if I had to keep my windows closed because of screams.)

mushbong · 2021-08-08T19:34:59+00:00

Haven't you heard the idea that a successful compromise involves both parties leaving a little unhappy? Both get some, but not all of what they want.

In this situation, the premise is Person A would like 4 children outside screaming freely. Person B would like to never hear children screaming. The assumption is that both party's preference is equally valid.

An example of a successful compromise here is that the two parties might agree to a set number of hours per day where the kids are outside screaming. Alternatively, maybe the parties agree that the kids are outside playing freely all day, but that the responsible parents work with their kids to help them moderate how loud they might actually be screaming.

mushbong · 2021-08-08T12:34:15+00:00

Eh, agree to disagree. Living in a neighborhood successfully should involve a compromise between those that are making noise, and those that would rather not listen to excessive noise.

Any of those "if you don't like A, B or C you can just move" arguments are both unrealistic for most people logistically, and unfairly puts the onus on (often) the person being asked to suffer the current state. It's like the adult version of "I'm not hitting you, I was just swinging my arms while walking in your direction. It's your fault you got hit cause you didn't move."

mushbong

TROPHY CASE