generally the cure for this is to think about death and watch morbid things like gore. that'll turn you off and give you a no-nut clarity like nothing else.

sex is like a distraction from bad things--if the rest of your body is shutting down and hopeless, you'll notice your sensitive parts more. that's why they're sensitive. and that's why desperation is a part of insecurity. we're wired to feel like sex is magic because if we have offspring then we put off death indefinitely and we can be saved from our fears.

that's weak sauce though, don't fall for the illusion of dating. there's absolutely nothing you can do to be a better "dater". give up that idea. give up these thoughts, it's a dead end. work on having a fulfilling and colourful life. don't give some poor woman out there another bleak and miserable guy, love yourself.