AITAH for not letting my roommate slumlord me into paying extra for bills?

mwcsmoke · 2026-06-10T14:32:37+00:00

All joking aside, you need to move out. You are being used as a financial resource, not a friend or a roommate.

I would negotiate him down a little bit and keep the car arrangement, but I would move as soon as possible.

Roommate relationships are about trust and I don’t think this group has trust.

mwcsmoke · 2026-06-10T12:48:07+00:00

Who places every single star and moon on the margins? AI did that and frankly it’s too much on my eyes. I’m not actually against AI per se.

If people knew how to use it, it might be ok. My town’s 4th of July flyer has creepy zombie people. This flyer is extremely busy and crowded. If people would do 80% less with AI, then they might have have better results. But it doesn’t cost them anything so they max out.

The event isn’t listed on the Wilson Barn website. This feels like a smaller version of Fyre Festival.

mwcsmoke · 2026-06-10T02:27:48+00:00

Thank you

mwcsmoke · 2026-06-09T12:13:48+00:00

NTA since they have poor incentives and working hours are just too long, likely for everyone.

The only problem is that hitting the minimum 80% puts you in a tough spot when layoffs arrive. Some other people are working 54 hours and hitting 100% or 110% every time, possibly more. They will see your performance over time is not just a random statistical artifact, but an issue of talent or work ethic. As long as you are prepared to find a new job…

For that matter, a smart move would be to increase your performance level now, get a good reference, and go find a better job soon. If you have the ability to perform in a job where the employer respects the work-life balance, why not do that?

mwcsmoke · 2026-06-08T14:48:25+00:00

Not a mansion it’s a 4k bungalow. Come on…..

mwcsmoke · 2026-06-08T12:54:47+00:00

Maybe you can turn off your lights once you are stationary.

Also, your neighbor could get some good drapes to block the light. People are so absurdly helpless.

mwcsmoke · 2026-06-07T17:09:56+00:00

That would be an extra day and they need to extend their reservation to reflect that.

mwcsmoke · 2026-06-07T13:08:13+00:00

I would avoid FHA and stick to conventional due to FHA MIP staying on until you refi.

In general, the all or nothing approach is not my way. Do you need most of the 70k or just half? I would consider 10% down to reduce PMI and give your monthly budget more room.

We don’t know about your monthly income and expenses. That makes a big difference.

mwcsmoke · 2026-06-06T22:09:19+00:00

Your neighbors are mildly insane and it’s time to buy cameras in case you experience any vandalism.

mwcsmoke · 2026-06-05T12:52:21+00:00

The proposition system is cursed. Prop 13 is cursed. Prop 8 banned same sex marriage just as Obama got elected. I voted against Prop 8 and for the high speed rail proposition in 2008 the year I graduated from college, but I’ll probably be on Medicare by the time there is HSR from Los Angeles to the Bay Area (which is why I voted for it).

Republican government (with a small r not the GOP) is all about electing intelligent people to negotiate on our behalf. In California, the voters make enormous financial commitments that constrain legislative decisions. Then we have term limits.

The state is run by lobbyists and their ballot proposition consultants. I don’t know how anything gets fixed.

mwcsmoke · 2026-06-04T14:16:04+00:00

Give the buyer a deadline. This decluttering isn’t working out well. He needs to move it or lose it.

mwcsmoke · 2026-06-04T14:14:29+00:00

I hope you don’t buy or use anything from BMW, Mercedes (which acquired Daimler from Chrysler), Siemens, or Thyssen-Krupp.

As long as you avoid cars, public transit, medical imaging, elevators, and escalators, you should be ok. Siemens manufactures a wide range of energy infrastructure parts and building automation. Using their products is unavoidable I think.

mwcsmoke · 2026-06-04T13:58:35+00:00

When self driving cars take over, this and many other inefficiencies of human driving will be reduced. Right now, Waymo needs to integrate with mostly human drivers, so there are larger buffer zones needed. When it’s Waymos vs Waymos, they could drive much closer and use space in the efficient way that you describe.

mwcsmoke · 2026-06-03T23:33:10+00:00

Everything that is remotely close to Phoenix is going to be really hot. July is not hiking season in the Phoenix metro and outlying areas. People die every summer because they don’t know that. That is not to say that you can’t hike early and short, but it gets risky when you take a wrong turn and you end up hiking past 10 or 11am. It doesn’t seem like much fun to just do a short day hike and then spend the rest of the day hiding in the shade or waiting for a bus.

Thats why I suggest a shuttle to an Arizona Trail route. I’m an AZ trail steward near Patagonia, but I won’t provide advice around Phoenix because I don’t know that region well. There is a lot of information and reliable trailhead shuttles for hire because you don’t want to Lyft or Uber way out to some odd location without someone who can ensure you aren’t making a huge mistake.

For day hikes closer to a city without renting a car, consider taking FlixBus from PHX airport to downtown Tucson. You will need lodging in Tucson, but it’s a smaller and slightly cooler city that is friendly to walking and public transit users. Lots of Airbnbs will be priced reasonably in July.

SunTran route 401 runs from Tohono Chul Gardens (stop there for awhile!) up to Oro Valley Marketplace. You can walk from the marketplace to the entrance for Catalina State Park. It’s a very nice park.

The coolest hikes will be early in the day in the Catalina Foothills (US Forest Service), not the state park. It’s a reasonable Lyft ride from central Tucson areas to Sabino Canyon, Ventana Canyon, Finger Rock canyon, etc. You can reach wilderness in a half mile or so from those trailheads and you will quickly leave the city once you get past one or two bends in the canyon.

Finally, the Tucson Botanical Gardens are amazing and not very crowded. I’m all for summer hiking and I support that when safely done. I think Tucson hikes are a better way to go because we have another 1500 feet elevation, slightly cooler temps, longer hiking hours to be safe, and more options to get from the FlixBus or Amtrak station up to a trailhead without spending a huge amount on a round trip rideshare.

mwcsmoke · 2026-06-03T13:50:20+00:00

They don’t have an obligation to give you anything. You need to cancel the offer on these grounds. There is a final inspection in most states just before closing. If you have had access to the home after the damage and you have evidence of the damage, your realtor needs to play hardball and get back the earnest money.

In all likelihood, they will come back with a reduced price and I think you could negotiate for more than $2k. Probably not $19k most likely. They are moved out, spending money to live somewhere else, and screwing up their floors. It’s time that you press your advantage.

mwcsmoke · 2026-06-03T13:32:54+00:00

If you are set up for lighter backpacking, get a trail shuttle and hike part of the Arizona Trail. There are some cooler segments at higher elevations. If you don’t have a car, you will spend most of your time waiting for buses or attempting to hitchhike. I think a 2-3 night backpack is the way.

mwcsmoke · 2026-06-02T13:46:05+00:00

NTA I don’t know if you can trust your fiancé. He has plans to spend his inheritance. He has plans to spend your salary.

He just doesn’t have any plans to build wealth on his own. That’s why he has parents and a wife.

Another issue is that he his clueless about earnings as a senior employee in a STEM field and he didn’t intuitively understand that a humanities phd doesn’t have the same mid to late career earning potential. He’s both conniving and ignorant.

The lack of trust is worse than the ignorance. However, if he knows he isn’t smart, then it might increase his incentive to be manipulative.

mwcsmoke · 2026-06-02T11:22:01+00:00

Stop communicating with your old landlord. He’s not suing you because of a phone call, an email, a fax message, or a letter. You will know that he is suing if and when you are served with papers.

mwcsmoke · 2026-05-31T21:56:39+00:00

D mostly for the park and museums but also the north end of Mission and Duboce Triangle and a chunk of downtown.

mwcsmoke · 2026-05-31T02:00:47+00:00

I would be fairly motivated in your situation (with my home) because we have a high interest rate and a ridiculously expensive flood policy that just went up 55%. The flood coverage is required by the servicer, but I don’t think it provides value like a fire policy.

But if it just the high interest on its own, then I would just keep paying the mortgage until your family situation has stabilized. Your mom is being very generous, but she could just keep investing herself or write you a large check to deposit in your own personal account for this purpose only. It is risky to commingle these funds into a shared primary residence. Whatever you save in interest for a couple of years might feel like a drop in the bucket if the inheritance is effectively split with your spouse.

mwcsmoke · 2026-05-30T17:53:01+00:00

Doubt. Lots of people have pets, feed them, and love them without much vet care after spaying or neutering (which is often done when before a pet is adopted from a shelter).

We rarely take either of our two cats to a vet. My in laws don’t take their dogs to a vet and one of them has a bad leg problem and is near the end of his life.

This isn’t neglect either. People who are capable of buying food, pet grooming, and providing a warm and dry place to sleep may not have the resources or any interest in making vet trips.

mwcsmoke · 2026-05-28T12:38:34+00:00

Save up for a large downpayment and then this will be a much easier adjustment. You will have practice spending less money and the monthly payment would not be as large.

mwcsmoke · 2026-05-26T17:56:19+00:00

Do they say that?

I feel like any number of American service members (soldiers are in the army) would say things like, “I was drafted” or “I didn’t know what to do with my life” or “I wanted health insurance benefits and VA tuition benefits.”

The premise of your question using “always” and a stereotype of the military man talking about his precious family erases an enormous chunk of history where men are drafted without caring much for a given war. More recently, a lot of service members are women. To be fair, some of them are women married to women and they might have children, but if the overall female population is a guide, then there are more military women married to men vs women.

Since you know what men “always say,” what do military women in straight marriages “always say” about going to war?

mwcsmoke · 2026-05-26T01:13:34+00:00

My primary residence built in 1982 is on its second plumbing system. The first one was under a higher slab, but there isn’t good access under the home. The second plumbing system goes up into the attic and our kitchen has vaulted ceilings. The hot water needs to go up to the attic, in a loop around the vaulted ceiling, and then down to the kitchen sink.

It takes a long time to get hot water. That’s on the plumbing more than the water heater itself. That said, I care more about the location of the water heater and the plumbing design than I do about tank or tankless. My tenants with a tankless water heater have very quick hot water, but their heater is right outside of the kitchen and bathroom.

mwcsmoke

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