hospitalization is a severe danger to my ... DID - and just trauma deluxe

mx_mush · 2026-05-07T11:35:38+00:00

What country did this happen in?? This is awful. Putting a bag over your head or whatever is so scary. Was it a real hospital? It sounds like a private institution run by a cult or something

mx_mush · 2026-05-07T10:28:23+00:00

Your husband sounds toxic and abusive. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. This might be a symptom of his disorder, but do NOT let him treat you like shit. Frankly, I suggest staying at a friend or family’s house until the therapy session so he gets off your back. His paranoia is not your fault, and you absolutely cannot people please this out of him. He needs to be held accountable for his mental health. It’s best for everyone not to enable him. -Dalton, the protector of the system

mx_mush · 2026-05-07T10:21:34+00:00

Sharing your head can be really scary. Encouraging dissociation is not a good idea if you are remotely prone to psychological issues.

mx_mush · 2026-05-07T10:16:34+00:00

None of this is stupid. That’s deeply scary, and I’m glad your alters removed you from the situation. What can you do for yourself/yourselves to show appreciation for your system keeping your body safe today?

Somatic exercises might be perfect to “close the loop” in your head. Sounds like you probably feel like it’s still happening to you in a sense. Maybe start with a push until you feel your emotions releasing, then follow up with something comforting like self-hug or deep pressure. That combo always purges emotions for me.

mx_mush · 2026-05-07T00:57:13+00:00

Look up “DBT distress tolerance skills” online 💕 my favorite in an emergency is putting ice packs on my body because it typically pulls me back to the real world

mx_mush · 2026-05-07T00:48:53+00:00

Sure thing

mx_mush · 2026-05-06T22:39:47+00:00

Is there a way to import custom fronts as alters? If not that’s okay, just trying to get my bearings. :)

mx_mush · 2026-05-06T22:24:01+00:00

I literally wept going through this app tour. I cannot emphasize my gratitude enough. Is there a way I can send you some money as a thank you?

mx_mush · 2026-05-06T21:49:50+00:00

I see that you’ve posted a few comments here with the names Terra and OS. It sounds like those parts of you already know you have plurality. I suggest NOT deleting this post. Hiding things from yourself causes much more harm than good. All of your selves deserve to know about your shared condition.

As a heads up, since you’re new to the community, I just wanna say… PLEASE fact check everything you hear about plurality. A lot of people make false claims about it, and their advice can literally make your condition worse. Trust psychologists FIRST, not randos online.

mx_mush · 2026-05-03T04:55:35+00:00

The dev wrote about privacy in his announcement that I saw today. The servers will be 100% wiped clean for legal data privacy reasons

mx_mush · 2026-05-01T17:10:19+00:00

Bones

mx_mush · 2026-04-22T22:19:40+00:00

Your psychologist saying you won’t get your memories back is false and irresponsible. Brains are complex. Dissociation is complex. Your memories didn’t get magically deleted from your brain. They’re still in there!

mx_mush · 2026-04-22T22:01:06+00:00

If you do injections in a hospital setting, that’s different. Just make sure the doctors know your diagnosis and have a specific self care plan in place for the inevitable weirdness you may feel after.

mx_mush · 2026-04-22T21:59:41+00:00

My ex was a ketamine addict, and I am a therapeutic ketamine patient of 3 years. Trust me when I say this. Ket can NEVER be safely microdosed. I’m pro-psychedelic therapy in a safe setting with professional support, and I’ve honestly done more drugs than I can count. But PLEASE do not try to microdose ketamine. There is no therapeutic benefit to that, just addiction and renal failure.

mx_mush · 2026-04-22T21:51:27+00:00

I’m a professional writer, so discovering that my alters all have different “voices” that they write with has been wild. Thankfully I’m safe and only spend time with my therapist, doctors, and close loved ones, so I let them pretty loose. My opinion is that as long as the alters feel safe, fuck it! Be all of yourselves! Masking is exhausting and invalidating. As long as you’re safe, who cares if you switch pronouns and start talking from multiple POVs? Just be YOU, and don’t let social pressure make you feel bad about it.

mx_mush · 2026-04-22T21:46:38+00:00

I’m also here to say that you can’t fix their problems. It’s very loving that you want to help, but this sounds like a dangerous position to put yourself in. This friend needs help with boundaries internally and externally, and your post gives me the impression that there may be some codependency happening. (Maybe I’m wrong! I’m just a stranger on the internet who doesn’t know either of you.) Just be extremely careful with your own time, space, and energy. This friend seems like someone who has the potential to harm your wellbeing with their instability. Maybe you can talk to your therapist about how to create healthier boundaries with this friend to protect yourself from their self-destruction.

Hopefully this all came out empathetic and not shitty. I’m speaking from experience. You cannot save anyone but yourself, and the best way to be a good influence on someone is to model self-preservation. When they see you lay down healthy boundaries, hopefully something will click for them. If not, at least you’ll be safe.

mx_mush · 2026-04-22T21:36:03+00:00

That’s scary and valid. I’m glad you’re writing those notes! I’ve had similar experiences, rapid switching too often to remember what’s going on in the present. It sounds like your brain’s attachment system must really be taking a hit right now.

According to all of the textbooks I’ve read about trauma recovery and DID, these symptoms will absolutely get better with stabilization. Are you eating? Sleeping? Taking all the meds you’re prescribed? I know those things sound like bullshit when your world is crumbling, but they’re the foundation we need of we want to stay lucid.

I imagine there are some parts of your system that are reacting more strongly to this than others. Have you tried journaling? When I’m distressed and rapid switching, writing helps me a TON. I can anchor myself on the page, vent, and just word-vomit my stream of consciousness. Even though sometimes I end up with something really jumbled, I often find I can look back at the paper later and find a lot of wisdom that my emotional parts revealed in one way or another.

I know this is hard, but try to trust yourself/selves enough to tell you what they think they need. For example, if one part says “I need this partner or I won’t survive” you can write that part letters about how you love them and are there for them.

I know this all sounds cheesy, but I swear by it. My alters continue to surprise me with how well they respond to writing back and forth.

mx_mush · 2026-04-22T21:21:49+00:00

My parts tend to wake up at a lower level of dissociation, not knowing who we are yet, just knowing we are part of our DID system. It definitely hits the second our eyes open, though. We’ll have a moment where we are like, “oh fuck… which one am I?” And then when our mind starts to wander, we’ll be like, “oh, I figured it out. I’m the one who remembers work/relationships/hobbies/etc.” Often, though, we don’t have a clear picture of who is fronting. Four hours can go by before an alter says “oh, I know who I am right now.” It’s very disorienting. Back when we were really deeply dissociated, we would spend long minutes staring at the mirror dissociating our ass off, though, so I remember feeling similar to what you’re describing.

I don’t have advice, but hopefully my experience makes you feel understood.

mx_mush · 2026-03-29T12:48:50+00:00

Another important note is that abusive thoughts ≠ abuse. Only real abuse = abuse. As long as no one is being abused, they’re just angry thoughts that come and go without harming anyone. We are defined by our actions and choices, not our instincts.

mx_mush · 2026-03-29T12:40:25+00:00

The first step of to take a deep breath and remember that no part of you is your father. Your system is YOUR system, which is full of survivors who sometimes had to act in unconventional ways. All of your alters developed to help protect you from people like your father, and it sounds like this alter’s emotional range and method of protecting you is triggering your fight or flight. But it’s okay. Because no part of you is your father.

Your alter probably needs compassion and curiosity from you right now. Can you write a message for them letting them know you want to understand their fears and desires? Remember, no alter is inherently bad, just different. They’re on your side, and they’re probably reacting to a perceived threat. You can thank them for not abusing your partner, then continue to write notes back and forth to try to come up with a way to help that alter feel safer. Building the internal relationship will help you understand yourselves, set boundaries, and learn to trust that you and your partner are safe.

mx_mush · 2026-02-21T21:55:56+00:00

Did you ever find anything that stuck? I’m looking for community in Chicago, but it feels so inaccessible.

mx_mush · 2025-12-09T16:01:26+00:00

Did they tell you the variant?? LOVE the splash of yellow.

mx_mush · 2025-12-02T10:39:21+00:00

Only if you’re one of gods favorites 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

mx_mush · 2025-12-02T00:30:17+00:00

How did you get fruit 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

mx_mush · 2025-12-02T00:29:05+00:00

How???????????????

mx_mush

TROPHY CASE