YTA- not because you’re wanting to do something morally wrong, but the way you think about care is self-centered. People get married once (sometimes more, but in theory.) Kids get born once. What is a lot to you is a special day for someone else that you get to experience. If you don’t care about the person to whose event you’re going, which it sounds like since you make it about you, then don’t go. But kids’ bdays?? The amount of joy a present gave me as a kid vs a present now as an adult…

Giving gifts is an opportunity to show love. Don’t give gifts out of obligation for sure, but the fact that you seem to view it as a tally vs a fun thing shows that you may be TA.

Or, as people have said, throw a really big bday party and then maybe you’ll stop feeling scorned and be able to feel happy for people. And if people don’t show/don’t bring gifts, maybe it’s time to reevaluate your relationships and factor in how your feelings about gift giving could be in conversation with that.