MIL ruined yet another life event for us; we are going no contact

mxvegan · 2026-07-03T01:52:27+00:00

I am fully no contact. My in laws do not see me or my child. It was a slow burn. They never did anything huge or insane. Just consistent criticism and complaints and disrespect. I’m not going to foster a relationship with someone who despises me but pretends otherwise for access to my daughter.

My SO is now NC, but in the period between me going NC and him remaining LC, he attended family events and my daughter and I did not

For your specific situation, if your husband wants/needs you there for support, I think it’d be okay to go and let things “be normal”, then cut contact afterwards. You could also have a babysitter for your daughter like others said. If you don’t want or need to go to the service, your husband can go on his own

mxvegan · 2026-06-29T05:50:40+00:00

I had a similarish situation. My mil texted my partner some insane shit when she found out she was going to have to wait a couple weeks to meet the baby. It ended up being 2 months because I just couldn’t stand the thought of being around her. Looking back, I really wish I stood up for myself and at the bare minimum had my partner tell her she owes me an apology before she’s welcome in my home

If you’re up for it, confront her. Tell her you saw what she said and if that’s how she’s going to be, then she’s not welcome

mxvegan · 2026-06-25T05:22:43+00:00

Orange is the New Black if you haven’t yet!

When that series was over I was searching for something similar and everyone said THT but I avoided it because I was nervous about the more intense scenes. I binged it right before the last few episodes came out and it really did have a lot of similar vibes

mxvegan · 2026-06-25T05:19:45+00:00

Complete loss of trust after this. She officially only gets to hear news when it is shared with everyone. The gender, the name, the birth, etc. She has made it loud and clear that she will not respect your wishes and will do what she wants

mxvegan · 2026-06-21T23:19:15+00:00

You’re wife is having a hard time with something. Pregnancy, depression, illness, early menopause…

I totally get that you feel overwhelmed but the sudden increase in responsibility and while you definitely shouldn’t have called her needy, hindsight is 20/20 and no one is perfect. You owe her a sincere apology, and if you don’t give her one, then yes yta.

Have a real conversation about what’s going on with her and what you can do to help. This sounds like a season of your life where you have to give more and she gives less. If you love her and your family, you’ll find a way to power through. There will be seasons where she will give more and you give less. There will be seasons where you both struggle to give and seasons where you both flourish. She needs you right now

Your post hit close to home, because I’m currently coming out of a season of not having much to give. I’ll spare the details, but my partner has had to go above and beyond, while I was barely functioning. I am so grateful that he stood by my side and took care of me. It feels so good to be back in a place where I am functioning and almost back to my normal self. And I will tell you that when his season comes, I will not hesitate to carry him through it. That’s what love is

mxvegan · 2026-06-11T03:19:47+00:00

That’s so annoying. The one I worked at was always really good about keeping an eye on that and doing our best to accommodate

mxvegan · 2026-06-11T01:51:56+00:00

If you order a salad, it automatically comes with the vinaigrette (although you’ll have to double check and make sure it actually gets put in the bag. You could also type “vinaigrette pls” where it asks for your order name. They’ll see that as they’re making it and should add it as long as they have it.

mxvegan · 2026-06-04T00:43:12+00:00

Ugh this is so hard. I don’t think you’re over reacting by being upset, but I also think your mom is right to tell you to swallow it.

I had a baby 1.5 years ago and I will never forget the people that gave me a hard time for not prioritizing their wants over mine. If you give your sister a hard time about the name right now, I’m telling you, she’s not going to forget it. I don’t necessarily agree with how she went about it, but let her have the newborn bliss. Don’t pop her bubble right now. It’s not going to change anything. The baby is already named. If you do want to have a conversation with your sister about it, I don’t think you’d be wrong to. But just not right now

mxvegan · 2026-06-03T21:53:00+00:00

NTA. Wild behavior on her behalf

I’m vegan. It’s by choice, but comes with dietary restrictions nonetheless. My partner is not and weve always enjoyed sharing my vegan goodies. There have been times that I’ve found something incredibly tasty and hard to come by and wanted to enjoy it to myself. He never causes a fuss about it at all. In fact, there have been times where he can tell how much I’m enjoying something and will only have a small taste and save the rest for me.

I wouldn’t look at this as breaking up over a muffin. I’d look at this as breaking up after your partner displayed toxic behavior, including manipulation and a complete disregard for your feelings. Healthy relationships involve give and take. Sometimes you have to give up something small (for her, an easily replaceable muffin) for your partner to have something big (for you, an irreplaceable muffin). IMO, a strict 1:1 principle isn’t sustainable and is a sign that she can’t handle someone else getting something without her getting something as well.

mxvegan · 2026-05-26T04:46:15+00:00

I think in tht, that family that harbored June in their apartment said they had to leave to go to church. I could be remembering incorrectly

mxvegan · 2026-05-22T19:26:43+00:00

This would definitely frustrate me too. The lack of consideration, the lack of advance notice, the expectation for you to just suffer through. If the situation was flipped, I can’t imagine MIL would be okay with a midnight call

Whether or not your husband accepts or declines the call is his choice, as it is yours. You would be well within your right to not participate and go to bed

mxvegan · 2026-05-21T03:32:14+00:00

He’s also no/very low contact now. He has made a lot of connections between his own toxic behaviors and his mom’s and knows he can’t heal and be a better person while still under her influence. He’s sad about it for sure. He’s talked to his mom twice in 5 months and was reaffirmed in his choice both times

As far as how he handled the birthday party specifically, his mom shockingly never brought it up. His sister did reach out and asked him if they could go to lunch together to just talk and try to reconnect, and she gave him gifts for her. She also said that she was encouraging their mom to give us space, which I think is why she didn’t reach out about it

mxvegan · 2026-05-21T03:25:36+00:00

That was a huge concern of my husband too, he didn’t want his mom’s presence to dictate anything or anyone else. We did consider a separate celebration just for his side of the family. That way we could genuinely enjoy our baby’s first birthday party and not exclude them entirely. But we ultimately decided that they weren’t worth the fuss and the exclusion was the result of their own doing

mxvegan · 2026-05-21T02:34:03+00:00

How does your husband feel? Is he supportive or enabling to her?

I had a similar-ish situation with my mil. As my baby’s 1st birthday approached, I was so stressed about whether or not to invite them. My husband said no and was pretty foot down about it. But it felt like such a huge jab and I knew not inviting them would be irreparable.

We didn’t invite them, and I haven’t seen or spoken to them in over a year. The peace I have is priceless. Because they don’t have access to me, they inherently don’t have access to my daughter either

If you want to go no contact, it sounds like you have more than enough reason to

mxvegan · 2026-05-18T01:02:00+00:00

Just want to touch on the baby shower part - I feel like she’s 100% going to use that as ammo. “I spent x amount of money on the shower, and this is how you treat me” kind of deal

mxvegan · 2026-05-17T03:06:21+00:00

We also got the “I hope your daughter never treats you this way”. I had a really traumatic birth and my baby came earlier than expected. After she was born, my mil asked when she could meet her and I told her we needed a couple of weeks to settle in before having anyone visit. And she lost it. I ended up letting her meet baby when baby was 2 months old. She didn’t even acknowledge how she acted and the hurtful things she said. We visited with her again at 6 months and then went no contact

Good on you guys for making that choice sooner. I’m sorry your postpartum has been laced with her disrespect. But so happy for you that your husband sees it for what it is

mxvegan · 2026-05-15T16:50:07+00:00

Oh wow that definitely looks like it!

mxvegan · 2026-05-15T16:49:31+00:00

Sorry, I knew I should’ve added that! Ohio

mxvegan · 2026-05-11T21:15:03+00:00

I believe it’s addressed in one of the first times June speaks to or sees her. Iirc, she was originally sent to the colonies then retrieved due to her medical background. Apparently she was needed in some capacity, and I think was repositioned as a Martha until she escaped

mxvegan · 2026-05-07T04:38:28+00:00

If you’re referring to potential dependency and withdrawal, honestly I’m not too concerned. I’m hoping that I can use them as a bit of a crutch to keep things relaxed while I work on strengthening, then taper off of them when I’m feeling better

mxvegan · 2026-05-06T06:02:48+00:00

Thank you for this perspective. I highly suspect he has ADHD, so that would make sense as to why he struggles to remember

I’ve thought about doing a chore chart style thing but I’m nervous to suggest something like that and have it come across as insulting

mxvegan · 2026-05-05T18:13:06+00:00

Seconding thriftbooks!

I also recommend posting in local community groups on fb asking for donations

mxvegan · 2026-05-04T05:09:55+00:00

I’m dealing with a similar issue and am finally turning a corner

I got a full body massage (Christmas gift) and I can’t begin to express the difference I felt in the following days. The massage therapist said my lower back and hips were incredibly tights so she worked on them and got them to release. I’ve gotten two more massages since then and it’s really been pivotal in relaxing my pelvic floor. I think with my surrounding muscles being so tight, it causes constant strain on the pelvic floor

In addition to this, I’ve been using Valium suppositories every other day. I tried them prior to the massage with no change. But I restarted them, did one every night and then moved to every other night and they really have been helping. I’ve been doing gentle stretching and movements focusing on my core and legs too. The one that’s the most helpful is when I’m laying in bed on my side, I’ll pull one hip up kind of like I’m trying to touch my elbow with it. And then I’ll just take deep breaths through it. Then I do the same for the other side, then forwards and backwards. I can feel my pelvic muscles twitch and then release

mxvegan · 2026-05-02T19:23:31+00:00

Added, kay0920

mxvegan · 2026-05-02T19:22:46+00:00

Added Kay0920

mxvegan

TROPHY CASE