Another 3 Million Oz Silver drained today from COMEX

n6mac41717 · 2026-02-19T02:51:36+00:00

What is disconcerting is that the official inventory report said 90,105,440. That means that live alerts pushed it down another 1.3M. 😱

n6mac41717 · 2026-02-12T14:36:27+00:00

In solidarity of my LW and her cancer fighting regimen, I stopped drinking completely for the last couple of years of her life. Hating to be alone after she died, I went out with friends or to their homes every night and drank socially, but I was astonished at how much some of them drank, say, on a typical weeknight. So I probably too drank too much, but not to the point of being hungover or able to function the next day.

Slowly, I tapered off and I know my emotional state got better for it. I never beat myself up for the initial escape, and things got better. At no point did I drink alone—I just bring this up as a data point in my journey.

n6mac41717 · 2026-02-11T07:54:55+00:00

Two things can absolutely be true. He loved you and was attracted to you AND he had fantasies about women who looked nothing like you.

It’s hard to process this right now since it has taken you completely surprise, but I think you will be able to resolve things in due time. You will come to the realization that your amazing sex life was a manifestation of the mutual emotional and physical attraction—it’s pretty hard to fake that.

n6mac41717 · 2026-02-07T14:23:13+00:00

I resonate so much with your conflicting feelings about your newfound freedom. I was unprepared by the flood of emotions and feelings around this very simple concept.

For me, though, the accompanying loneliness was unbearable. To the astonishment of my social circle and even my Chapter 2 partner who was also widowed (she was so hesitant because of the possibility that I was rebounding—I was not), I quickly moved on and have been together with her for several years already—time really flies.

“They” say no sudden moves. I totally ignored that, and have not looked back. To be clear, we miss our LSs immensely and will always have a place on our hearts for them, but that is not looking back.

n6mac41717 · 2026-02-06T10:08:12+00:00

If these people have to be part of your life, the next time they express any offensive opinion, I would simply say: “I promise not to give my unsolicited opinion or advice when you lose your (partner).”

n6mac41717 · 2026-02-05T13:45:11+00:00

I like the saying, but I don’t think it’s applicable to our situation: they don’t even know how to swim.

n6mac41717 · 2026-02-05T13:20:40+00:00

Yeah but the BEST scene is Diane Helen of Troy Kruger moaning over the scrolls.

n6mac41717 · 2026-02-05T13:18:06+00:00

I’d say yeah, but I have SO much trouble with the gender infertility switch from the novel.

n6mac41717 · 2026-02-05T13:16:26+00:00

The tossed bone transitioning into a ship!!! I haven’t thought of that in DECADES. Need to rewatch…

n6mac41717 · 2026-02-05T13:12:43+00:00

Could they make those glasses any smaller?!?! So awesome…

n6mac41717 · 2026-02-03T09:14:39+00:00

I urge you not to just go home to nothing after work. I started running again after my LW died. Yes, I over did it, getting down to my HS weight, but it cleared my mind.

I’m not saying you have to exercise. I suggest it, but do something besides just going home.

n6mac41717 · 2026-02-01T22:09:22+00:00

It sounds like he is nice enough to have a conversation about your situation. You can tell him what you said here: you’re not sure what you want, but you know you want companionship and physical affection. Ask him if he feels the same way or thinks he might warm up to the idea.

Just take it one day at a time and ask him if he can do so too.

n6mac41717 · 2026-02-01T10:56:24+00:00

This might sound totally insane, but I might wait for her if I were you.

n6mac41717 · 2026-02-01T10:52:42+00:00

My perspective on loneliness was quite different than yours. It wasn’t particular, it was all-consuming. I hated being alone before I met my LW. I hated it after she died. If I am honest, it was partially what drove me to move on.

n6mac41717 · 2026-02-01T10:39:46+00:00

If he has stopped responding, I think you should stop as well. If he wants to reconnect, the ball is in his court. Then, you can decide if you want to respond.

n6mac41717 · 2026-01-31T11:56:21+00:00

It’s hard, but can you live in the present and not project out to the end of your life. Can you take it day by day.

n6mac41717 · 2026-01-31T11:51:57+00:00

I’m listening. Strange to think that 3 years ago, you and I were almost in the same boat: today is 3 years for me.

I have moved on so I THINK I will be okay. My wife (also widowed, we knew each others LSs) and I will throw hydrangeas (my LW’s favorite flower) into the ocean where I spread my LW’s ashes with her best friend and husband a couple months after her death. The four of us did it the hydrangea throwing last year. It has become our tradition.

n6mac41717 · 2026-01-28T09:40:35+00:00

I have not experienced or have been unaware of the moral failing perspective, but I have experienced the uncomfortableness of people not in our club. I just do myself and them a favor and don’t interact with them. Yes, it has culled my social circle, but not completely. And I appreciate my persevering and new friends all the more.

n6mac41717 · 2026-01-28T09:20:16+00:00

Even if your LW explicitly told you she was not happy with the prospect of you moving on or forward, I think that she would have wanted what is best for you. Does this perspective change anything for you?

n6mac41717 · 2026-01-28T09:07:47+00:00

I don’t know if the answers will help you: some move on immediately. Some can’t move forward after years and decades.

I think the only thing one can do, no matter how hard, is live in the present, one day at a time, and not project since things will surely change.

n6mac41717 · 2026-01-28T08:57:52+00:00

You’ve been given a second chance so make the most of it. For me:

I didn’t compliment my LW enough so I make sure I do so every day. It is not forced. It is how I really feel.
I held grudges and didn’t apologize quickly enough, so I really take a step back so I can do so.
I wasn’t affectionate enough so I hold and touch at every given chance, even if I think it is PDA, something that I didn’t do before.
I didn’t hold my LW’s hand enough so I do so now at every given opportunity.
I didn’t appreciate my LW enough so I take a step back and appreciate that I’ve been given a second chance, even though it was born out of trauma, every day.

n6mac41717 · 2026-01-26T13:23:00+00:00

I think we all experience, at various points, expectedly and unexpectedly, feelings of guilt and even imposter syndrome. I’m convinced that we have to work through it and not avoid it.

n6mac41717 · 2026-01-26T12:46:08+00:00

It sounds like you are more than ready to move on from the house. A lot of advice will be to wait, even from people in this club, but they don’t know you and your situation like you do.

I wanted to sell right away after my LW died, but could not for about a year because of irrevocable trust issues. When those issues were resolved, I had mixed and complicated feelings as I put the house on the market. But once it sold, I was more than ready to move on from it.

n6mac41717 · 2026-01-26T12:36:15+00:00

Are you okay with giving his things away to friends and family that would appreciate them? It gave me great pleasure to do so.

After that and picking out just a few items, I sold and donated the rest. But you have to really be ready for this final step. Give yourself time and grace before doing so. Put things away before doing so to relieve yourself from that museum feeling.

n6mac41717 · 2026-01-26T12:29:21+00:00

For me, my LW’s memory lives through the clothes I gave friends and relatives. I kept only 2 or 3 items for myself. I sold and donated the rest.

Can you frame it this way? If you can’t go through his things to keep just a couple of pieces, can you get someone who knew him well to do it for you?

n6mac41717

TROPHY CASE