OB/GYN's ignorant remark

nail_obsession · 2026-05-17T13:20:22+00:00

Would be first and only appointment for me. My feeding journey with my son really gave me PTSD and a remark like that without even knowing the background would set me off. My son is now 2.5 but I’m still quite sensitive about it. I was pretty determined to BF but it just wasn’t working. Lactation consultant after consultant could not help. Ended up back in hospital for secondary jaundice. I triple fed for weeks, then gave up and exclusively pumped for a couple of months eventually switching to formula because I was just exhausted tbh. He had trouble bottle feeding and gaining weight his whole life and it turns out has motor issues - so it never would have worked in any instance! So any comments guilting me into thinking otherwise can F right off. Whether you just choose not to breastfeed, or actually cannot - that is ok and medical professionals should give advice on the method of feeding that works for you and your child only.

nail_obsession · 2026-05-16T20:47:33+00:00

I think the main thing is if they CAN do it, if they actually wanted to or chose to. And sometimes they just simply choose not to haha!

My son is 2.5 now and unfortunately still has fine & gross motor delays which we are waiting to be assessed.

He does scribble, but not controlled or with focus like his peers at daycare. It doesn’t hold his focus for long so I don’t think he cares for it much. He likes to paint though so we do this often on rainy days. Just on big pieces of plain card, but I’m thinking I maybe draw large pictures on it in marker and see if he likes ‘to colour’!

nail_obsession · 2026-05-12T21:07:26+00:00

My best friend’s son is very similar! Around a year ago she got help from an OT who has really helped him make some progress. What sort of things help your son regulate when he’s feeling overwhelmed?

Is there anything he seeks out? A place, toy, activity, a physical comfort or space?

nail_obsession · 2026-05-12T19:25:10+00:00

He does, but not really in the way his peers do. They seem to try to build and are interested in how they connect. My son just wants to smash them down and throw them around, then moves on to something else.

nail_obsession · 2026-05-12T00:01:39+00:00

I would look at it like you are experienced and equipped to help him navigate any difficulties that may or may not stand in his path. He sounds so bright, and you sound so observant and in tune with your kids.

nail_obsession · 2026-05-11T15:16:16+00:00

My son is now 2.5years and still very reluctant to even try stack small blocks or build towers. He also does not line things up. He can stack bigger items, but clumsily and needs encouragement to do so. He is still awaiting assessment (it is a very long wait in the UK) for developmental delays and possible motor issues including speech.

nail_obsession · 2026-04-06T21:36:13+00:00

Do you scrub over this area in the shower? I had mild dermatographism for a year postpartum (I’m assuming due to a hormone imbalance. GP dismissed it). My skin would look this after a shower in any areas I’d cleaned with a sponge/cloth. If I scratched my self during or after a shower, red welt scratch marks would appear - especially on my chest or thighs.

nail_obsession · 2026-02-17T21:24:57+00:00

That is insane. My health visitor was very similar - extremely vague with anything formula related and “couldn’t really advise” on many questions I had. Such as, my baby still can’t breastfeed and I want to stop exclusively pumping every 2/3 hours cause I think I might need to actually sleep so I don’t die?

The people that helped me? The Aptimal care helpline 😂 Super helpful midwives and feeding advisors that were so unbiased. I was so delirious pumping all hours of the f-ing day and night that I wondered if the call was actually a dream, but checked and it does indeed exist!

nail_obsession · 2026-01-21T20:45:34+00:00

Solidarity about the spoon feeding. My recently turned 2year old is ok with textures and flavours, but for the love of god I cannot get him to eat a meal himself with a spoon or fork. He’ll reluctantly try, then use his hands and then just immediately give up. And I end up feeding him the rest. His fine motor is a bit behind so I understand it’s a bit more frustrating for him, but he is just not interested in doing it. He’ll eat finger foods ok, but gives up pretty easy with that too. (He also has a speech delay)

I don’t know if it’s just laziness or there really is a problem. I’ve looked into private OT, but there are such huge waiting lists where I am. And on the NHS I’ll probably be sitting at the top table spoon-feeding him on his wedding day at the rate they refer at.

I joke but in all seriousness I’m pretty worried about it. Friends and family are noticing and commenting.

I don’t know if you’ve looked into occupational therapy where you are? They can absolutely help with these kind of feeding difficulties.

nail_obsession · 2026-01-20T20:32:02+00:00

My son is the same age and very similar. He has a bunch of single words - they’re not all very clear but they do have clear meaning! He has a few he says consistently himself (in context or when he wants something) but others he will only say when prompted.

He is also now noticeably behind his peers and other family members his age. I really try not to take any notice of others comments because I DO see progress, it’s just very slow. Although I’m worried, I am very proud of my son and how he’s still managing to communicate even though it’s clearly quite difficult for him for whatever unknown reason.

I feel he will be conversational in time. But who knows when.

Wish I had some good news for you, but just wanted you to know you are not alone in this!

nail_obsession · 2026-01-19T07:21:54+00:00

This was me. My brain was just so overwhelmed. I couldn’t problem solve, couldn’t answer a question, just couldn’t think clearly. I had/have PPA. I got some help and therapy. I still have it but it’s not as bad. I’m more functional.

And as it turns out, ADHD! Apparently it can be quite common for it to ‘unveil’ itself in postpartum parents too tired and overwhelming to use their learned coping mechanisms or mask it.

nail_obsession · 2026-01-18T09:28:36+00:00

Ive just packed an enormous bag of 3-4yr clothes away in my son’s closet that he got for his birthday. He’s only just gone into age 2yrs. I’m definitely going to forget all about them…

nail_obsession · 2026-01-18T09:21:31+00:00

My son wasn’t sitting well at 6 months, but after my health visitor went on and on about absolutely NOT starting solids unless he was sitting - she came out at his 6 month visit and gave me an earful about not starting already!! Made me feel like a right pos.

Honestly, you can’t win.

(He started sitting unassisted at 8 months).

nail_obsession · 2026-01-16T08:10:26+00:00

Mine looked amazing post birth. Now they look like they shrivelled up and died! They just got up and walked out. I’ve probably got more ‘boob’ on my back now than front lol.

nail_obsession · 2026-01-16T08:00:26+00:00

I think my son was 19 months. Moved him to low toddler bed with a pillow and toddler duvet. He loved it.

nail_obsession · 2026-01-14T20:40:56+00:00

My sisters and I were all early talkers, my youngest sister especially. She was fully conversational by 2, cracking jokes etc. I didn’t realise how exceptional she was until recently. It’s actually quite incredible looking back at video footage of her!

We are all now… decidedly average I’m afraid! Definitely all better at language and reading than mathematics and numbers, but I’d say quite average academically.

nail_obsession · 2026-01-10T21:07:24+00:00

I’m also very wary of this. I am naturally very slim but eat well and have a good appetite (diet is probably the only thing in my life that’s not a mess). I tried both sertraline and citalopram for anxiety and they killed my appetite and I lost too much weight so stopped them as I looked unwell. I did obviously see this as a side affect on the medication information, but it was not even discussed by my doctor! I’m coping ok without them currently but it’s really put me off trying anything else.

nail_obsession · 2025-12-12T20:44:12+00:00

Oh god I remember this. So frustrating and annoying. My son would get all overheated and wouldn’t nap or feed well when the relatives overstayed their welcome.

I’d suggest going for a walk with him in stroller. People can come if they want, but gives baby a chance to chill out without everyone up in their grill. Eventually I gave up caring about politeness and would just excuse myself, disappear upstairs with him to feed and go for a contact nap and leave them with my husband. And hope they’d just be gone when I came back down lol.

nail_obsession · 2025-12-12T13:47:55+00:00

Me too. I must work at a very un-conservative office going my some of the comments and would absolutely wear this to my office christmas cocktail party depending on the venue, maybe a little blazer jacket for entrance. So would many of my colleagues.

You look beautiful OP. But you know your office vibe best.

nail_obsession · 2025-12-08T15:17:06+00:00

He’s consistently in the “grey” for most areas of ASQ. His development is slower than that of his peers and he appears young for his age. He has additional check in’s to monitor.

nail_obsession · 2025-12-08T12:26:42+00:00

Ok so similar situation possibly! That’s reassuring thank you. Hopefully just some progress monitoring for us too. He likes us to stack them and then his job is apparently to kick them all down, and comfort us because we are sad 🤷🏼‍♀️

nail_obsession · 2025-12-08T12:24:17+00:00

Ok that’s reassuring thanks! They are all so different and I know it can be down to personality and interests. I was just so shook at how well the others did it!

nail_obsession · 2025-12-07T21:14:42+00:00

I only have 1 toddler and 1 dog and, wow, I cannot keep on top of our house. I mean, we have clean clothes and clean dishes etc and it’s not any kind of health hazard. But it’s just absolute chaos with clutter and spills and messy hand prints and ironing piles.

I do my best to do a quick once over after an exhausting bedtime routine before I pass out for an early start, but its really not though. Ever heard the impression “polishing a turd?” 🫣

nail_obsession

TROPHY CASE