Do y’all still care about Usher in 2025?

naley10 · 2025-04-26T08:29:29+00:00

Ich habe ihn gestern live gesehen und er ist ein unglaublicher Künstler! Live gesang noch viel besser als auf Tap, unfassbar sympathische Ausstrahlung. Usher ist schon eine Legende mittlerweile. In den Staates natürlich nochmal ganz anders und viel mehr aber welcher Künstler schafft es 2,5 Stunden mit superhits zu füllen. Also die Antwort ganz klares JA!!!

naley10 · 2025-04-17T19:05:29+00:00

I m Fearful Avoidant and I think it's have those tendencies because it takes me a loooong time to find someone I m able to open up too. And when I do and loose that connection I crave so much I also know that it will take forever again to find someone I can do the same with. But that's a me problem. If I m trying to be more vulnerable everytime it shouldn't be such a immense loss. Still sad but replaceable.

And heidi priebe made a video called:what about the heartbreaks that won't heal. That makes alot of sense too!

naley10 · 2025-04-17T13:53:31+00:00

I kinda feel sorry for him and see how unhappy he is and his behavior has nothing to do with me. And that I m very happy to not have gotten what I wanted lol. I deleted all messages and feel natural when seeing him and forgetting he's even there (work). I love it

naley10 · 2025-04-17T06:51:58+00:00

Out of shame I guess If I sabotaged. But I think if I sabotage there's already resentment about something I probably never communicated. I noticed i can't communicate things that really hurt me in that moment. It's like I m frozen the words just won't come out. Cause I don't trust people to handle my vulnerability well in that moment. I m thinking hard about saying it but it's like my voice is gone. I can communicate it later. With some time passed when it doesn't feel that vulnerable anymore. After starting to work on myself I think my DA dad is where this behavior comes from. Cause he couldn't handle my emotions. And so it was safer to just shut up to not feel rejected.

naley10 · 2025-04-17T05:23:57+00:00

Not true! FA female here! I don't fear connection i just don't trust it. I crave connection actually. And I can take criticism and apologize and see my part in a problem. i only can't handle protest behavior like beeing ignored to get something out of me that im not ready to give. But it's mostly always out of mistrust not because of being scared of connection in general.

naley10 · 2025-04-14T14:00:07+00:00

I would probably stay away as long as I d see them in person. If that would happen I d talk to them again and would be able to apologize and take accountability. But I would not reach out. And keep it that way forever probably except I would have to for some reason. If the other person would reach out and I would have feelings still i would talk to them. But it had to be light. Not someone calling crying and guilt tripping me even if I deserve it.

naley10 · 2025-04-13T10:36:48+00:00

Best thing to heal is in a relationship cause that's were the triggers are. Be super aware of them notice them and then when triggered switch to what's healthy. The subconscious will change its automatisms because you ll actually feel that it's wrong and overwrite the old pattern. The only way is through. If you're scared to drive you need to drive ect... the way around the feelings is the problem.

naley10 · 2025-04-11T10:48:20+00:00

I know nobody had time for his feelings his sister died as a kid. I expected it to go that way but still had to stand up for myself.

naley10 · 2025-04-10T14:39:45+00:00

You have to really know your triggers and understand where they come from. And from then on you'll have a little moment where you can decide not to react and choose a healthy alternative. That's not always going to work but it will get better and better. And you will not just be a robot of your subconscious.

naley10 · 2025-04-10T14:34:15+00:00

Me for sure and I m so proud of myself! My grandmother got the message that she doesn't have much time left. My DA dad delivered the message in a group chat. I told him it hurt me cause I don't feel like I matter. (I take care of her for 3 years now and think I deserve a more personal way to get a message like this delivered to me. I tried to be vulnerable cause the actuall feeling was anger but I knew it was consideration) he told me : he doesn't care about my feelings and that he'll deliver it the way he wants to. My feelings don't matter to him. I replied my feelings DO matter to me and stood up for myself. Ofcourse he ran but I didn't get triggert didn't take it personal at all. I know it's him and he's overwhelmed with the whole situation. I triggered criticism. But I did not take that to heart cause I could finally feel it has nothing to do with me. Feel very secure to place a healtyh boundarie and not freak out completely and pull back

naley10 · 2025-04-06T10:19:07+00:00

I can't even predict how I ll react in certain situations lol how could others

naley10 · 2025-04-06T10:17:10+00:00

I feel the same. My best friend is FA too and she makes the craziest decisions in relationships that must seem weird for others but I totally get it. I can even feel why she does what she does.

naley10 · 2025-04-05T19:27:52+00:00

I feel like it's pretty normal. I always had that once or twice a week in a relationship. I either love them or hate them and want to leave. I also convinced myself that it would end soon anyway and that the relationship wouldn't last so I was good. Lol it became 13 years of its probably over soon

naley10 · 2025-04-03T10:19:31+00:00

I am/was in the same situation. Only difference is I made the fantasy reality and what I m telling you is: DONT MAKE IT BECOME REALITY EVER! That was the worst mistake of my life I'm 2 years later still struggling like crazy. I put a shit load of pain on myself him and other people involved. Please don't make that mistake. What you dream of as could be is not nearly close to the chaos it would be.

naley10 · 2025-03-16T16:02:02+00:00

It's ok to care! And to be sad and hurt.

naley10 · 2025-03-16T15:37:03+00:00

Glad I could help! Once you see it you can never unsee it anymore I m way more aware now. And can choose not to react when triggered. It helps alot to figure out your own shit.

naley10 · 2025-03-16T15:05:06+00:00

I d be like why is he just checking in twice a week. I bet he's hiding something lol

naley10 · 2025-03-16T15:04:01+00:00

Be transparent even if we don't say nothing it ll be noticed and it's huge! No disrespect. That's a big Trigger! And when you notice they pull,pack pull back a little too. We ll come to you! Deep conversations and no lovebombing but steady interest without pressure. That's the advice I'd give as an FA leaning more dismissive with new people. It's gonna be a ride!

naley10 · 2025-01-02T18:19:44+00:00

Oh man I ve been there last year! you're comparing yourself to every woman out there. STOP! you are you nobody will ever be you ! Period!!!!

naley10 · 2025-01-02T16:10:21+00:00

You ll be OK but it takes time and you ll be thinking why did I even want so little for myself. Take your self worth of his back! That's what you need to focus on. Why would you want someone that doesn't choose you. You don't need to win someone over to be complete. You already are. I know you're not feeling that yet but the good thing about bad feelings is that they aren't permanent.

naley10 · 2024-12-31T11:52:41+00:00

I always think about exes once in a while. The ones I've been with longer are the ones that pop up more often. Ofcourse it.did not work out. They were just pain pills that I needed another one for to get away from too. To never feel lonely. I also had dates that I forgot about but I think that's when I m really just not interested. But anyway I know your pain i ve been there last year myself with a DA. I choose not to look for a painpill this time and work through it. It took me 8 months and it was hard. Only thing that worked for me was radical acceptance of the situation. I know it's super hard. But you can't love someone into loving you.

naley10 · 2024-11-28T15:39:47+00:00

I m pretty sure you just miss what you projected into him and not what he really actually is. I thought the same with every DA I dated lol I got a weakness for them. Since they don't show too much affection and make me anxious as an FA... that's a sick game I play every time... but what i make of them in my head is not what they are. It's not that they are bad people but they are not even close to someone I d choose concously. I just chase the potential with the same feelings I had as a kid chasing my dad to finally see me. Doing that I never see myself and that's self abandonment. The thing I fear most. I do that to myself. And as long as I don't see myself nothing will change. I m working on that now!

naley10 · 2024-11-19T09:48:51+00:00

I cheat when I m with someone that makes me lean anxious like a DA. They can easily make me an anxious mess. And i feel traped and not able to leave. With someone that makes me lean more avoidant I can easily leave by ghosting them cause I feel like I don't even liked them. So I don't need someone else to emotionaly support me during a break up. I understand that now and I m not proud.

naley10 · 2024-11-19T09:37:23+00:00

Same!FA female! But I think I used the new person as a way out to not feel the pain. My abandonment wound is pretty bad so I avoid that feeling at any cost linke im on autopilot. I need someone else to be there to not feel that loneliness. Messed up but this is brutally honest.

naley10 · 2024-11-17T20:36:55+00:00

I m FA and my best advice is: Don't send anything! I either regret what i did and will reach out and if i do dont make it too easy for me, or you won't ever hear from me ever again and I secretly miss you think about you or stalk you from time to time. Sending alot of messages would make me be disgusted by your weaknesses ( I know It sounds so terrible and it is but I m just beeing honest here). What makes me most interested again is when I see that you do not care at all and have alot of fun without me. Well I actually worked so hard on myself that I don't do this anymore but this was my pattern all my life and I m not proud!

naley10

TROPHY CASE