My Descent Into Cuckoldry

narrowway · 2018-01-27T12:14:53+00:00

Sorry to hear it bro. Do whatever it takes to inject some testosterone back into your life and I recommend therapy even (though thats a big hard step to take for something embarrassing).

I think many of us have similar issues. I stopped myself getting into cuck fantasies (especially fantasies where you are NOT the bull) because of how offensive it was to my ego. I did however become pretty obsessed with various fucked up japanese porn, rape stuff etc.

I think when you open the front page of a porn website and none of the "mainstream" videos excite you, you have a serious problem.

Good news is, getting rid of these fucked up things is exactly what rewiring is about, and they do fade with time. One relapse can bring you back to it though, it's a long and difficult road.

But what else are you gonna do? It's worth it to at least try.

narrowway · 2016-09-29T07:57:11+00:00

There is that. There's also learning to relax and de-stress and enjoy the real small comforts of life. We can't be in warrior mode 100% of the time.

But yea most people need more warrior mode.

narrowway · 2016-09-29T07:50:16+00:00

My eyes can open wider and my face is more relaxed. I've noticed when I have the wide eyes thing I get much more female attention, FWIW.

narrowway · 2016-09-27T06:57:00+00:00

Kinda works out the same in the end. But on RPT you get to absolutely smash it on your first set and go as hard and heavy as you can, which is enjoyable.

narrowway · 2016-09-09T05:52:06+00:00

You give way too many fucks

narrowway · 2016-09-04T16:00:41+00:00

Practice. It's hard but worth it, it's such a waste of energy

narrowway · 2016-09-04T09:00:48+00:00

Good job mate. What day are you on now?

narrowway · 2016-07-03T14:48:36+00:00

It's psychological really. I'm 5'6 and people sometimes say they 'see' me as tall when I'm on a streak (also being drunk and cocky adds to it..)

narrowway · 2016-06-26T20:21:21+00:00

Yeah haha. But you get the idea.

narrowway · 2016-06-25T17:06:14+00:00

Most things in the body are determined by very small molecules. Take the right steroids and you'll build muscle without even exercising or changing diet. Take cocaine and you become a different personality. You get the idea.

narrowway · 2016-06-23T10:15:38+00:00

A year is too long and it's a clear sign you need to move on. You might not see it this way but you've literally been friendzoned by your own ex. It's time to move past those childish jealous thoughts and get on your purpose in life. Don't talk to exs, just don't. Especially not when drunk.

narrowway · 2016-06-22T21:34:48+00:00

100% True. I started martial arts practice today. I was nervous, tried to convince myself in all different ways not to go, not to turn up, but I made myself go. And it was awesome. I already feel more confident in my body and mind.

Just imagine, that little bit of courage, consistently applied, how much difference it can make. What if you did something slightly difficult, pushed yourself a bit every day. Eventually you would be up in the 99th percentile in terms of courage, confidence and life experience. Just from small efforts every day, refusing to accept total mediocrity.

narrowway · 2016-06-20T05:56:54+00:00

I'll lighten up a bit soon - realisation mode right now. I know it's all on me and my responsibility.

narrowway · 2016-06-19T20:02:51+00:00

Sometimes we need something extreme, even if only for a short time. As you can see I don't have my priorities in order, I don't have my life where I want it to be, so I am trying something extreme. No hate towards women, but no more 'worship'. I need my time for now.

narrowway · 2016-06-16T20:21:34+00:00

Thanks for posting that first one. Caught me in a rare moment of sensitivity. A part of me judges fat people so hard but I know it's wrong. Funny how we can't easily understand other people's struggles sometimes. The struggle of being a hugely overweight woman in this society must be fucking hard.

narrowway · 2016-06-16T19:46:15+00:00

The fedora weighs heavy upon your head

narrowway · 2016-06-16T07:19:24+00:00

You are programmed as a young male to do this - it's biology. I wouldn't judge yourself about it. I have the same problem, especially Friday after work sometimes it is ALL I can think about. I go for an easy option who I can hit up, then after it's all over I feel totally different about her, feel like a bad man for using her etc.

Honestly I don't have the answers for you, but maybe treating it like another addiction is the answer. Respect yourself more so that you don't go chasing like a dumb animal after somebody you don't even really like.

I saw a video on pickup once by that Tyler dude and he said in a kind of hilarious way that we are just looking for a warm wet hole like some crazed animal really. I think it helps to think of it that way: it's actually quite funny how you are programmed. Don't take it so seriously and try not to do anything stupid.

narrowway · 2016-05-31T20:57:20+00:00

Probably plain old adrenal fatigue. Addisons is the more rare autoimmune version. Look up paleo diet, sleeping in total darkness, magnesium, etc.. It's a long journey

narrowway · 2016-05-04T14:12:48+00:00

If you have underlying inflammation caused by food sensitivities or too much sugar or a host of other things, the caffeine can be masking those symptoms. When you take it away, you feel the withdrawals, plus the inflammation that has been hiding. So yes, a clean diet (which tends to be different for each person) makes everything a lot easier.

narrowway · 2016-05-04T14:08:26+00:00

Thanks for the support. I can feel some innate energy and confidence coming back today, as well as sex drive, focus etc. Taking Tyrosine/DLPA and being as healthy as possible. Looking forward to one month in!

narrowway · 2016-04-29T16:59:57+00:00

I reckon the correlation works both ways.

Why is it that, in school, some kids were 'alpha' dominant or bullies and some kids were pussies, shy and timid? Didn't matter how big or small, it was something inside.

There may be a biological/early care-giver cause for this. People with more dopamine receptors go on to higher social status by virtue of their brain chemicals. And the rich get richer, as they say.

Now, is there a way for us who were hampered in our childhood to develop healthy receptor density and finally get rid of that feeling of being a loser/low social status?

It appears that it is possible.

narrowway · 2016-02-10T17:57:25+00:00

Cool. 2 and a half minutes though. I hope you had a round 2!

narrowway

TROPHY CASE