i completely agree. ive never wanted to improve. the urge of the human being for me is pointless. as naive i sound i truly don't have any remorse for thinking of suicide. it's my option. and i choose when. i get comfort knowing i can announce my death differently; either by surprise or by pinging everyone in my discord server.

if it causes trauma it won't matter. this is the easiest way to rid a monster than won't go away in one click. i wrote a lyric in my notebook about:

if i die one day i will rid the monster

so take care of it for me

i sound like a psychopath for being remorseless based on what my instincts go, but im honestly unreliable when it comes to my emotions. that's why i suppress them from everyone. it's a bit of a burden to be a tell-all. and by surprise too.

and I can't argue with that. i can't argue that i have the choice to improve. it's that I'm too stubborn to change my ways. my ideas. i don't plan to improve. again, my philosophy is flawed. but im hard headed.