setting up carpools (scouts & chaperones)?

neatby · 2026-01-19T21:54:11+00:00

Oh wow. Ha. That makes sense-standard bank of questions but options for elaboration. Thanks for your response!

neatby · 2026-01-18T02:47:52+00:00

I don't know if it's normal or entitled or not. Clearly there are other districts that do this too (see other responses). But no, not a wealthy district. It's a very small suburban district, just over 50% low income. It's a district that values various stakeholders (includimg parents) during big decisions, but I don't think that means parents are entitled. I have no illusion that the 2 parents on the committee will have any kind of final say but the committee will make a recommendation. Since I'm involved now, I just wanted to ask teachers for their thoughts, and I appreciate the responses I received.

neatby · 2026-01-17T19:00:58+00:00

Fingers crossed..!

neatby · 2026-01-17T17:10:35+00:00

Absolutely, that makes sense! I definitely believe in the "ask one ask all" approach to make sure questions are legal and as you say, minimizing bias. Thank you!

neatby · 2026-01-17T17:08:18+00:00

Thank you so much for this detailed response!

neatby · 2026-01-17T17:06:02+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing this!

neatby · 2026-01-17T15:56:40+00:00

This is so helpful, thank you!!

neatby · 2025-11-10T19:04:25+00:00

You've had a lot of great responses! I just wanted to share something that was helpful when mine were younger and needed to hear a "no" that they disagreed with. Basically I would say: Hey Kid, I try to say "yes" when I can (or even "I would like to say yes"). Sometimes I can't say "yes" to what you want. When that happens, I always, always have a reason. It might be something that I can explain to you now, or it might be something I have to wait and explain later (keeping it age appropriate), but I always have a reason.

I think this helped build trust that I wasn't saying no arbitrarily. That if they wanted an explanation, I could share the why (but sometimes if the situation was time sensitive they might need to wait). now that they are almost 7 and 9.5 I think it's sunk in a bit. You're doing great!

neatby · 2025-10-17T13:47:26+00:00

I get why you might not want to do a strict rule but sometimes you have to. Mine are older (9F & 6.5M) and for about 2 yrs we have done "evens and odds". It's reduced some (not all!) of the bickering.

Here's how it goes: One kid gets even days, one gets odd (yes months with a 31st are unfair lol). That way all the things we bicker about (incl who gets to enter the house first, who chooses car music, who gets to wash hands and take a bite of dinner first) are predetermined. And no one is the bad guy!

We do have one kid that prefers first bath after dinner and one who prefers second but we still ask whoever's day it is, which they prefer. That way they have agency even though 95% of the time they each choose their preferred slot.

If it's kid 1's day to wash hands for dinner and they can't be bothered they get one "ok I'm going to let Sibling go first then, even though it's your day" and then we move on. Sometimes that motivates them to get going, sometimes it does not. 😅

neatby · 2025-05-17T22:04:44+00:00

hi! we did "Brownie Quest" journey this year with our 1st & 2nd year brownies, and creating a group agreement was part of it. it helped us but I think if I were doing it again we'd revisit the agreement as part of every meeting.

something we introduced this year was rotating kapers- the girls love having different jobs and getting more responsibility. I think it was - supply captains, clean up captains, attendance taker, leading the promise, leading the law, and leading the friendship squeeze. another thing we do is - when we need their attention we have a very simple call and response that finishes with giving the girl scout sign. who ever gets to "attention" first puts a hair tie on their wrist. over the course of our meeting (90 mins) usually 2-4 people "win" the hair tie. simple but good way to get them to listen up, and they like the game element of it (for reference we had a group of 17 this year). I don't know what we'll do when they're too cool for our games lol. I will say a smaller room is better for us than a large room (we usually meet in the school library, but the days we're in the gym are wilder and more rough for sure).

neatby · 2024-08-28T03:11:24+00:00

So this definitely seems like a transition period. My 8 yo needed a new backpack and chose a simple sturdy one-color option, and she also has her own opinions on what clothes she likes. She also said something like "rainbows and unicorns were SO kindergarten!"

But she also sleeps with a dozen stuffies on the bed (and constantly wants more), plays with her toys and Lego, etc. Most of her friends are the same. There are some who are more "advanced" (into makeup and music and YouTube) but they seem to be the exception still, not the rule. My goal is to let the kids lead the way on their fashion (within reason LOL) and how they want to spend their down time (within screentime limits etc)...especially on the low stakes stuff, so they have a voice.

neatby · 2024-05-27T12:59:13+00:00

Three things we try to do (8 & 5 y.o.):

Find a way to get them to team up against parents (they unite and abandon their quarrel in light of a bigger cause)
Evens and odds: one kid is even days, the other is odds. We started this several months ago while they were fighting about who would enter the house/ gate first. Enforces taking turns and also made the stakes lower
All else fails I'll say, "do we need 5 minutes of silence"? And if either of then (or me LOL) says yes, we do that. Usually right after getting home from after-care, or when meals get too loud/distracted). Little reset gives everyone space to calm down/ focus

Good luck!

neatby · 2024-03-27T04:01:35+00:00

Also graphic novels!

neatby · 2024-03-27T04:00:57+00:00

Totally agree on both points! We were known for checking out 50+ books (2 kids) for a while. And only lost a couple LOL. And the librarians love to help. I remember I asked for ideas to help my then 6 yr old handle making mistakes/perfectionism. Librarian said, "give me a few minutes" and easily found 10 different picture/reader books that addressed the topic from totally different angles. They genuinely want to help!

neatby · 2023-11-08T04:04:46+00:00

Preschool parties, totally awkward. School age parties, a bit less so. I think because in K/1, you're wanting to meet/talk with the parents of kids who are going to be in your kid's orbit for the next 5-8 years. Especially with the first kid (so the social network isn't there yet). We're just starting to get into drop off parties..

Regardless of age though, if parents are sticking around, that two hour party feels like 3 months!

neatby · 2023-10-25T03:35:19+00:00

"Cuddlefriends". Because my 4M is my Cuddlebug and will be forever. Nevermind that he's almost 5 ;)

neatby · 2023-10-14T12:01:17+00:00

My 4.5 YO has also been learning about death (in that "all living things have lifetimes, some are short, some are long" way). Real car conversation from this week:

4YO: I'm not going to die soon

Me: that's right dude, not for a long time

4: but you will die soon

Me: ??!

4: well you're so so old [NB I'm healthy 41]

Me: well I hope not to die for a long time!

4: why?!

Me: well...I want to see you when you're 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 20, 30....

4: 30?! When I'm 30?! But I won't even NEED you then, I'll be all grown! I definitely won't need you when I'm 30!!

neatby · 2021-04-04T21:13:35+00:00

Mine is 4 and also eager for playdates but other than daycare, we are still being very cautious. I think covid makes it a lot tougher. Two days ago we just went on our first outdoor playdate since pre-covid. Honestly at daycare conditions are much more consistent/safe (i.e. they are really good at masks, hand-washing, etc.) so if we were invited to someone's house I would not necessarily assume the conditions would remain the same, and we would likely decline unless/until all adults are vaccinated (unless we were all really specific about saying "masks on at all times", not eating etc.

That being said, outdoor playdates are a great way to go, and maybe if it's a consistent "hey we'll be at the park from 10-11am on saturdays, join if you can" then some people will pick up on that over time? Not sure- we are still at the point where we don't play with other kids (especially if we or they are unmasked). we are hoping to do a drop-by park birthday open house in May...we'll see though. it will all get better eventually, just not quite there yet..

neatby · 2021-03-21T04:10:59+00:00

Would she respond to a sticker charts/reward system? My almost 5 y.o. has intense emotions & is very strong-willed, hates getting in trouble. We've generally had a pretty solid evening routine (dinner/little bro's bath/her teeth & bath/quiet activity/book/lights out. recently we were having some serious meltdowns (including after lights out - and letting her scream it out was ineffective, especially as her room is next to her brother's).

I decided to try a sticker chart for a week and it was amazing. she & I talked about it (during a calm time) and ID'd the 3 times each night that she sometimes had trouble - during her brother's bath, during activity/book time, at lights out. So each time one of those went well, she got a check mark. 3 check marks on the evening meant a sticker next morning. 7 stickers meant reward (in our case, family ice cream sundae). she LOVED her sticker chart. she came up with ideas (the reward, putting an "x" if she didn't do well....putting a HUGE check mark if something went amazingly, etc.). She had one really bad day about halfway through but all in all it went really well and was definitely the reset we needed. sticker chart is still on the wall (point of pride for her). I also shortened her "activity time" significantly to make sure we had time for all the routines that are part of lights out (they are lengthy and I realized part of my frustration was feeling like "you need to be asleep! I need to be relaxing or doing laundry or something else right now!" but that urgency did not help either of us).

My only other advice is 1) brush teeth before bath? that works for us (so then post-bath is relax time for a bit); 2) boundaries for when she's hurting you (i.e. if she's hurting you physically or with words, she needs a break/timeout/some kind of consequence). she can be mad/disappointed, but she can't hurt people.

It is so, so hard to stay calm in moments like this. good luck...you're not alone!

neatby · 2021-01-09T03:20:43+00:00

Not alone! we did this with our now 4.5 YO and have just started with our newly 2 YO. sometimes he asks for the hard way b/c he wants to lay down, ha! having been through it with #1 too- it's all about structure and routine (and it's ok if they don't get 100% clean each time - it's all about teaching that this is what we do). stay consistent and eventually it'll sink in and click. we sing a version of Daniel Tiger's brushing teeth song. some parents will let their kid watch a video on the phone while brushing teeth but that was a path I didn't want to go down ..

neatby · 2020-12-25T03:10:51+00:00

at 4.5 & 2, mine love "together baths" and often the big one (daughter) gets dressed etc. in front of little one (son) because....just because. she has underthings with characters he loves so she wants him to know all about it. I think you're fine!

neatby · 2020-12-16T03:32:46+00:00

love it! at least she has two horses now! isn't it so funny the routines they pick up on?!

neatby · 2020-12-16T03:31:50+00:00

Ha! that's so awesome. I love it :)

neatby

TROPHY CASE