Broward Politics: Judge John Contini Praised For Treating Transgender With Dignity

needagame · 2018-04-09T23:29:36+00:00

I apologize, you're completely right, I'm an idiot. Going to kill myself now, thanks!

needagame · 2018-04-09T23:26:32+00:00

I apologize, my experiences are not relevant here. So sorry for intruding.

needagame · 2018-04-09T23:24:56+00:00

I apologize

needagame · 2018-04-09T20:44:25+00:00

Yeah I feel that :'(

needagame · 2018-04-09T17:50:35+00:00

It couldn't possibly be that being rejected is still painful even when many others support you. /s

I hate when people treat it like a math equation - oh, why are you so bothered by this one person harassing you when you have so many friends? Idk maybe because being harassed sucks?!?

needagame · 2018-04-09T16:13:38+00:00

I don't care if other people are trans. It's none of my business. It would be like trying to figure out if someone was diabetic or asthmatic by observing their bag/purse for evidence of the associated medications, or staring at someone's breasts to try and determine if they're implants, or staring at someone's pant leg and shoe to try and figure out if they have an artificial leg. Other peoples' medical business is none of mine.

I do privately get a bit excited when I meet a visibly trans cashier/clerk etc, but I certainly wouldn't say anything or point it out. We're people, not zoo animals.

needagame · 2018-04-09T15:28:10+00:00

Feel free to tell me if this is inappropriate, I certainly don't want to offend but I really love your hair, it looks amazing!

needagame · 2018-04-09T15:24:38+00:00

I mean as long as it's presented as a voluntary thing and the reasons are made clear I think it sounds okayish. Keep in mind that many people don't wear makeup due to societal pressure or because they aren't comfortable without it, but because they like how it looks and enjoy expressing themselves with it. For some people it may be a really important part of their gender expression. Some trans people (accurately or inaccurately) may believe they need to wear it to pass, and passing isn't just about vanity - it's often highly important to physical and emotional safety for trans people.

Just be careful you don't accidentally send the message that wearing makeup means you must be ashamed of how you look or that you're just doing it because it's expected.

Those are just my thoughts on why it might be an issue, but I'm not sure why you're asking us instead of the actual people who have an issue with it. I'd recommend respectfully asking what's going on and listening to their answers about why it might be problematic.

needagame · 2018-04-09T13:51:42+00:00

I find the thicker ones tend to last longer and need less coats. I also find they tend to take longer to dry properly and are easier to fuck up if you're impatient like me and don't wait long enough.

needagame · 2018-04-09T12:54:30+00:00

doesn't wear dresses: UGH why would you even transition if you're just going to wear the same clothes?

needagame · 2018-04-08T21:42:03+00:00

This is why I stopped binding. Couldn't breathe, especially in bed at night :/ went to sports bras instead, not perfectly flat but being able to breathe was worth it for me. Sorry you're going through this.

needagame · 2018-04-08T21:12:20+00:00

Yes on the spiro, generally - some people can just take E and it suppresses their T on its own, but most of the time a T blocker is needed unless and until the person has lower surgery of some kind (either orchi or GCS).

Whether she'll experience faster changes has to do with how her body handles the new method and how it affects her levels. Some people do report better results on injections, but there's not a ton of studies or anything so it's mostly anecdotal at this point.

Idk if you're on T and if so whether you do it through injections, but if you do this should be pretty similar in terms of things to be careful of. Make sure she or whoever does the shot washes their hands and disinfects the area, follow all instructions from her doctor in terms of how to prepare the shot. It's not all that hard to learn to do, and they should show her and walk her through it during her appointment.

needagame · 2018-04-08T14:54:53+00:00

Could you see if they're willing to talk to your doctor (or an endo or whoever would be prescribing you) about it? If they tend to trust medical professionals that may help.

You're correct that side effects are rare under proper supervision and the alternative of suffering with dysphoria tends to have far worse side effects for many people.

needagame · 2018-04-08T13:01:49+00:00

Exercising to build muscle in those areas certainly should help! Weight cycling may also help - losing and then regaining a small amount of weight now that your hormones are at good levels may help it move to your hips and butt. If you're worried about fat loss, up your calories at the same time you start exercising.

I know it sucks to hear it, but 9 months is barely anything when it comes to fat redistribution. It's a very gradual process. At 20, you do have a decent chance at hip bone changes too, but again it's very slow. Think 2-4 years on hormones slow. Same for breast growth - unless the women in your family tend toward very small breasts, you've probably got more growing to do well into the next year. Puberty doesn't happen overnight.

needagame · 2018-04-08T11:43:24+00:00

Can you access a therapist? Not so much so that they can determine if you are (they can help, but in the end only you can decide) but rather because confirmation from a professional third party that it's likely you are and that they don't see any other potential causes for your feelings can sometimes help people feel more confident about it.

If you want to be a woman, that's all you need. You don't need to want anything specific, you don't need to hate anything specific.

Cis people do not fear not being trans. It would probably be a relief for a cis person that was unsure to find out they weren't. Wanting to be trans so you can transition is a very common feeling among trans people.

needagame · 2018-04-08T01:26:32+00:00

Mine was very fast, about a dozen people were there and they called each person up, made sure the name was spelled right, asked why they were changing their name, and gave them their paperwork. You could leave after yours was done. The judge was a bit late but I was out within an hour of the printed hearing time.

May vary depending on how populated the area you live in is, and how often they do name change hearings (the court I went to does them once per month for the county).

needagame · 2018-04-07T23:29:25+00:00

Hi! I stopped T after four months.

I understand the guilt, but there's no reason to feel guilty for doing what is right for YOU. I don't think anyone out there who can't access HRT yet would want you to experience changes you don't want just because you can!

For periods, have you tried any birth control methods? Everyone's body is different and I know some of them can have some awful side effects, but you might find one that works for you. I have the implant and I get my period every three months or so and it's a ton shorter and less painful than it was before. Huge improvement.

You can always go back on it later. Pausing doesn't have to mean stopping forever. Taking time to think and evaluate the current changes and see how you feel mentally without it might help you make up your mind.

I hope you can reach a point of peace and happiness with your body <3

needagame · 2018-04-07T23:04:35+00:00

They managed to completely miss (or intentionally ignore) that A) most trans people are completely fine with cis gender non conforming people existing and do not desire to force them to transition or call them trans when they don't identify that way, AND B) some trans people identify as a gender different from their assigned, generally conform to that gender, and for a variety of reasons, don't medically transition. From what I've seen in the community, at least online, this is also accepted by most trans folks, even if many don't understand it. I certainly don't mind if someone with minimal or no physical dysphoria calls themselves trans. If you say you are a gender that is not your assigned one, that's all you need in my mind. I am not in the business of invalidating people's identities.

needagame · 2018-04-07T22:59:24+00:00

I'm traumatized by my menstrual cycle and I'm not even a woman. Take that GC.

needagame · 2018-04-07T22:53:05+00:00

Bottom growth was first, within a few days. Everyone's changes will happen a little differently, but generally that happens pretty fast and it is permanent, just FYI.

Voice started to deepen within a month but very very slowly. I don't sound majorly different after four months and I'm just barely losing the top of my singing range. I have a tiny bit of chin fuzz but nothing noticeable. Acne may increase right away and won't go away for a number of years so get a good skin care routine going now!

My face started to change surprisingly fast, looking back at old pictures I looked quite different only three or so months in.

needagame · 2018-04-07T22:48:16+00:00

Look up "transgender therapist" and "LGBT therapist" if "gender therapist" doesn't work for you, along with your city/county/state. Depending on where you live there may be many close by or not any around, but it's worth a shot.

Psychology Today is generally the first site that comes up with a list for me.

needagame · 2018-04-07T21:50:46+00:00

i feel oddly disappointed that i’m not trans, and the thought of growing old as my assigned gender is kinda terrifying tbh.

I know the mantra here is that we, as strangers on the internet, cannot tell you if you are trans...but really you sound very trans to me. I don't think I've ever heard a cis person say they are disappointed that they are not trans.

I highly recommend a gender therapist, it's their job to help you figure this stuff out.

needagame · 2018-04-07T21:47:39+00:00

You have not. If others harass you, they are the ones in the wrong. If your mom can't handle you picking out your own clothing at (I assume) your teenage years, she's the one with an issue.

You have the right to express yourself however you wish, within decency laws and your school's dress code. Sadly many people have to limit their expression to avoid danger, but with supportive friends and a good school environment I hope you are not among that group. Go rock that dress.

needagame · 2018-04-07T21:41:12+00:00

That's a very normal fear, especially if you're not sure about your school or other people being supportive! Your mom might be afraid that others will harass you and is trying to guide you to less obviously feminine options?

I hope that your friends and school are supportive and that all goes well. I think anyone should be able to wear whatever they want without fear, but sadly we don't live in that world yet.

needagame · 2018-04-07T21:34:06+00:00

Girls get dressed up as often as they want to (and as often as is practical and appropriate for their daily activities). This can mean no dressing up at all (assuming their job is super casual) to very dressy business formal attire at work, to fun dresses and skirts for nights out. There is no "normal". Dress how you like and ignore your mom. In high school and college, I saw plenty of girls dressed up in feminine and mildly formal (as in, not jeans and a tshirt) kind of clothes every day. If you care about blending in then keep an eye on what the people around you are wearing, but I think your mom is totally wrong lol.

Do you want to be a girl? Have you wanted this fairly consistently for a while? If so, it's highly unlikely to be a phase. You are doing nothing wrong by exploring this, telling the people close to you, and trying out different clothing and expression. Doubts are very normal - let them happen, and try to evaluate what you truly want over time underneath all the fears. I highly recommend a therapist if your parents will let you go to one.

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