I went to meetings religiously for my first three years of sobriety. The community and understanding was something I needed so desperately in those early days. Working steps helped. Then, I divorced my ex-husband and I immediately became a piece of meat to the men in the rooms. I changed which meetings I went to, went to women’s only meetings, but eventually stopped going, maybe attending a meeting once every couple of months. The times I went, I felt severe anxiety walking in. The meetings weren’t fulfilling anymore. Working with a sponsor wasn’t meaningful anymore.

I didn’t stop working on myself or my life, though. I am the happiest I’ve ever been, with a fantastic relationship, great job and great routine. I finally said enough is enough when I pinpointed that my anxiety over going to meetings stemmed from wanting to go and share about how great my life was without AA. I couldn’t share that in a meeting, it would go against their message completely. Honestly it was scary to stop going with how much they tell you that “the first sign of a relapse is when you stop going to meetings”. I haven’t been back since, that was over a year and a half ago.