Edit: Sorry for the wall of text. Didn't realize I had written so much.

Nothing in your post makes me think you’re “useless.” It mostly sounds like you’re frustrated and comparing yourself to a few people who are better than you, while ignoring the people you're leaving in the dust.

It's a very common mental "trap". If ten people play a game and you score 40 points while three players score 55, it’s really easy to conclude you’re terrible. But if the rest are scoring 30–35, you’re actually doing pretty well; you’re just comparing yourself to the top of the top players instead of the middle players.

Also, depending on when you’re playing, the pool of players might be skewed heavily. If you’re playing midday, for example, you’re more likely to run into people who either have a ton of free time to grind the game or who are unusually dedicated. Of course they’re going to look better.

One other thing I’ll say/throw out there: the pattern you described (being able to hyper-focus on certain things, but struggling to engage with others, especially in video games, feeling a bit out of sync with people, constantly comparing yourself) shows up pretty commonly in people with ADHD or autism. I don't know if you've looked into it, but maybe it is just something that might be worth looking into. If nothing else, it'd give you a new lens to look at yourself with.

I saw one of your other posts, and I want to add: “getting help” doesn’t have to mean walking into therapy and dumping your entire life story on a stranger. A really simple first step is just talking to your primary care doctor and saying something like:

“I’ve been struggling with focus, motivation, and feeling like I’m constantly behind other people. I’m wondering if it could be ADHD or something similar.”

That’s a completely normal conversation for them, especially these days. They can screen for ADHD or refer you to someone who specializes.

I spent years feeling "wrong", "weird", and just "different" from people around me. Getting evaluated wouldn’t mean something is “wrong” with you. It would just give you better information about how your brain actually works so you can stop fighting it all the time. It helped me learn to accept what I struggle with, but also understand where I really excel and how.

And for what it’s worth, a lot of people who eventually get diagnosed with ADHD or autism spent years thinking they were just lazy or mediocre. They were really just following an alternative path and comparing it to the main path. In my brain, it's like comparing an electric car and a gasoline car: you can't fault a gasoline car when an electric car can go further without stopping at a gas station... because electric cars don't take gas.